i have been a real dick at work over the past few weeks. today is better, but lord help me if i become cross again. i don't even recognize myself when i get this way but sufficed to say, i become filled with loathing and it feels incredibly toxic. if i were working anywhere else, i would have probably been fired for my attitude problem.
the issue i am coming across is that i want change but have absolutely no idea where to begin to manifest it.
part of me thinks i need to focus on my smaller projects and get my mind off of the bigger ones so that the bigger projects will have room and time to sprout. another part thinks that i have wasted so much time and am continuing to waste it by not being proactive.
it's like i have to walk 700 miles to get where i want to be, but it has to be on a road made of broken glass and i cannot find my shoes.
i am about to enter my third holiday season with my job. i have worked every holiday season for about six years. last year i was so exhausted i told everyone i didn't want to go through it again, and yet here i am.
what to do? if i could afford a life coach, my tushie would be making an appointment right this second. i feel like i need someone to point me in the right direction and give me concrete steps to take.
if anyone knows any life coaches that will do some pro bono work, let me know!
xo
lu
3 comments:
I'm at the point of searching out someone to do my star chart/future casting again, and to get my past lives read. And this is *me*, so we know how far out of leage that is.
I'm in the same sitch. And it gets me everyday that having just tied myself down is actually a step forward...in the end I think quantifying what we want to change is as hard/harder than actually taking the steps to do so.
dood. i wrote the longest response to you post and my computer decided to restart before i posted it! ack! here's the readers digest version:
1. i freaked when i signed my lease because i thought i would never leave this town. but i have learned to start reminding myself that i can leave anytime, i just may be out my deposit. painful but not the end (originally wrote "ned") of the world.
2. i got inspired to redecorate partially because of seeing the cool stuff in your apartment.
3. if you want to do some chart work etc. we could make a date for sister faye or crystal connection. i've never had mine done and have always wanted to.
4. hope you are having a totally rad friday.
5. going to see system tonight?
1. I think half the cool stuff is still in my trunk. Maybe. It's like a archeo dig in there.
2. Chart work (had mine done at 18 by family friend/astrologer of the town) sounds like a keen idea. We shall investigate.
3. I'll do a 'wait and see' about the show. This flu thing kicked my butt and as much as I want to go, I'd like to be well enough to actually cook w/ heat this weekend.
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