i woke up this morning after a torrent of odd dreams, with an exceptional amount of weird clarity. i guess, ennui would be a better term? i'm not sure yet, but i feel unusual and want to bawl my eyes out.
several things come to mind as to the cause of these feelings:
1. not being the best girlfriend i can be for my bf
2. it's almost been one year since my grandmother passed away rather tragically. i'm not doing very well with this one i can already tell.
3. i haven't felt sexy or even cute for a loooong time. in fact i wrote a whole thing about it last night but decided not to post it. it can be summarized by this sentence: i feel as sexy as mormon underwear.
4. i'm not happy with my job right now. i haven't been for a while but there were more glimmering redemption points than there are now. i don't know where to begin to employ someone like me. i'm frightened, the economy sucks, i want to make more money and save more money and not live in tallahassee anymore.
5. my back is an undulating sea of knots and it is very painful and uncomfortable.
6. i feel lonely but it's not a sad lonely as much as it is a frustrated lonely. i haven't had any urge to go out or socialize.
7. i know i am at this point of my life for a reason but i don't feel like i am doing what i'm supposed to be doing.
i'm going to have a cup of coffee now to ensure that future posts today aren't so melancholy.
sorry guys!!!
xo
lu
4 comments:
Wordy McWord, word, word. With a side of Mormon underwear.
Maybe we should take a trip to that genie thing from Big, and it will help us figure things out?
Establish a plan to initiate your journey. Make a check list. Check off things that are possible to get you started. You are the one that can make it all happen. Go for it!
k. your idea is awesome. plus, i'd love to end up working at a toy company and have a bitchin' apartment in new york like tom hanks did in big.
thanks colby, you're one wise shih tzu!!! ;-)
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