Tuesday, April 19, 2011


on an unrelated note, i am and have been quite the productive lady today. lots of much needed cleaning, last-minute yard sale additions (being cleaned and tagged shortly), a lot of day-dreaming about our future plans, some twisted nerves over a few friend situations. it's been a while since i have had the twisty nerves over something like that. i have a threshold, you know? i take a lotta hits from people, i give a lot of chances. i don't really indicate that you are nearing your final chance until you do. then, i do what i'm doing today. i sit and i ponder. i think of cost vs. benefit. i make pro/con lists. i honestly take into account where i need work as a friend. mistakes i've made with this person etc. i meditate. i listen to my gut. then i cut ties. i've only had to do this maybe four times in my life. only twice, did the breakaway have to wind up with a long drawn out conversation about it. the others fell away naturally. one actually was fantastically mutual. cleaning house before a move is like this experience. it can be really emotional. do we need this? i have another one just like this and it's never broken. these hurt my feet every time i wear them. this always reminds me of bad times. that thing is too heavy to keep hauling around. this i have to keep, it's perfect and always brings a smile to my face. i don't think i could go a day without having this around. every time i wear that i think of that time we...{insert time of awesomeness and hilarity here}. you see? getting ready for a big change has you thinking about a lot of things. the life you want. what you are willing to lug around and what makes every journey easier and more fun. that's kinda the thing i'm dealing with today.
i have a literal handful of friends who lift me up unlike anything else. who leave tulips on my doorstep on a random friday night, just because they care. or call you on the drive home from work, even though they are exhausted, just to get an update on how you are doing. i have friends who send me dirty jokes they know i'll love via text, just because they know we will be laughing together (though 900 miles apart). those are the folks who you keep around. there is no need for pro/con lists when it comes to them.
i think i accidentally just figured out what to do about my situation. thanks for listening, interwebs.
adieu for now,

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