Wednesday, March 31, 2010

and out like a (rather cantankerous) lamb...

hello kids, 'tis wednesday and the city of tallahassee is completely covered in green pollen. i woke up today feeling like i had spent the evening eating stinging nettles out of the ground. ew. but today is good. i keep finding myself looking toward the weekend and have to remind myself to try to stay present. i can do it, i think.
well, today is the last day of march. what an intense month it has been. a charming and fun, but quite intense month. i am very much looking for quiet and peace right now and have grown quite frustrated with about 80% of this city and my life in it. i think i'm going to do everyone a favour for the next few days and just hole away. perhaps go to a movie, if i can find one interesting that doesn't cost $10.
last night i was completely wooed by the gigantic full moon. it was yellow like old parchment, and hanging low in the sky like a loose button on a jacket. how lovely. i wish i could hide away there for a while. i'm not really quite sure what my damage is at the moment, but woah. the world has a formidable opponent in ole lulu right now. these are the times when i indeed should find a little wooden house somewhere in the forest and sit out there and scream at the top of my lungs, take long silent walks and sit in the bath in a clawfoot tub for hours on end. just the ticket to get my head right.
i am not sure what i want for myself for april. i've definitely been taking better care of myself minus one or two late nights over the weekend. my gal pal is going vegan for a month, i'm not sure i want to go that extreme ('cause homeskillet loves her some cheese, now), but i want to do something good and kind for myself. if i'm kind to lil ole me, then i'm more kind to everyone around me (and i'm much less spacey). not sure how it's connected, but it sure as heck is.
oh, ha! and i realized yesterday after relaying my lizard-toss story to my parents that it was a salamander, not a gecko. not that it makes a huge difference in the long run but i'm sure Sal appreciates the recognition.
okay, well...i reckon i'll go for now. i hope your day is calm and fruitful and super-enjoyable, friends!
much love with this regularly scheduled adieu,
*left picture: little dood getting brushimans from victoria last night. it's his favourite thing in the world. kind of adorable, no?
*right picture: my pollen-covered car this morning. ew.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

ranty pants

hey kiddos, 'tis tuesday. wanna know what i learned this morning? i learned that geckos (and pretty much all quick-moving lizards) scare the hell out of me and i will screech like a little girl when one of them runs out in front of me. i couldn't really tell you what freaks me out about them other than the fact that they move very quickly and are squiggly; but i was thisclose to jumping onto a chair.
however, being the self-sufficient woman that i am, despite my "ACK!!'s" and "ew!!'s", i removed him (or her) from the store unharmed. i even checked on it later to make sure it was still okay. i am proud of myself for that because one thing i dislike more than little fast bitey lizards chasing me around, is killing something. i even feel guilty if i accidentally squish a spider (though they kind of scare me too and LOVE to bite me specifically).
all of this is to say, i like that i can take care of myself, even in such simple terms as gecko removal. i like that i can confront my fears...sometimes. i still haven't figured out how to sing in front of people without having my throat close up from anxiety, but i will.
i do have a problem with allowing people to help me. call it stubbournness or what have you. it seems in the past, often when i woud ask for help with something, it would end up being an issue, or inconvenient or worse, something to be held over my head for years on end. yadda yadda. not every time and not by every person i asked for help from, but pretty significant and even minor incidences throughout the years have made me terribly gun-shy in letting people help me. alas, i have conditioned myself to say 90% of the time that i don't need help with anything. i even felt bad asking someone to walk my dog for me when i was super sick last month and couldn't get out of bed or feed myself for four days.
i have practiced over the years, that 10% where i do ask for assistance when i need it. i had wonderful results with it when i was moving apartments a few weeks ago. awesome people took the time to say, "why yes, lulu. i would love to help". but it was still hard to get me to agree to it in the first place even though i KNEW i totally needed the aid. crazypants, man!
to me, it's frightening to ask for a favour from anyone. right before i ask, i get that feeling in my stomach like there's an animal burrowing in it; the way i felt before i jumped out of the airplane a few years ago.
i'm not sure exactly what the issue is; fear, rejection, vulnerability, they're all factors. and quite frankly i can handle a lot. i also realize that the worst thing someone could say is "no", in theory anyway. so what's the biggie, man? really.
who would have thought being terrified of a gecko smaller than my pinky finger would throw me into such a funny tangent about one of my quirky and annoying personality traits? well, you check in with me often, so i'm sure you're used to it by now.
well, this is me today. i'm quite amused by my rant. i hope your day is beautiful and a lot less complex than this stream of consciousness was.
adieu for now,

Monday, March 29, 2010


good morning, friends. 'tis monday. i'm a tad cranky but that's okay. well, that depends on who you ask, i suppose. i had a nice weekend. i didn't do too badly with my budget (though i could have done much better), and i am hoping for a nice quiet week this week. it's surprising how quickly my evenings become filled during the times i want to be alone; but when i'm alone and want some company, i can't seem to find anyone to hang out with. weird.

well, i had a restless night's sleep. bizarre dreams which unfortunately seem to be the norm right now. last night's dream, there were plans for bombing beneath the streets of a city and all sorts of shady things happening that i can't quite recall at the moment. i remember feeling really unsafe and unable to trust anyone around me. anyway, i woke up and could tell i was going to have to work really hard not to be a big ole butthead all day long.

so here i to put forth great energy into being considered a somewhat civilized human being for the next 9 hours. wish me luck!

adieu for now,

top picture: the sweetheart herself this morning.

bottom picture: a painting that amuses me at one of my favourite sunday spots in town.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

the magpie

it has been a very lowkey weekend. i am grateful for that. i have hours left but i'm already getting anxious about going back tomorrow morning to begin another week. i don't know why i am so antsy and overwhelmed. i think there's just a tremendous amount of static in my mind. i can't quite sort through it all. little by little, individual ideas manifest out of the fog, so to speak, and i can nail down this or that as being a tried and true belief or revelation yadda yadda yadda. but it seems one object gleams in the sun and i'm completely distracted and lose track of all my progress in thought. totally weird, man.
today i am going to wring every drop of peace out of the remaining hours of my weekend. i hope that nothing sparkly catches my eye, and that when i wake up tomorrow morning i am energized and feeling positive. i haven't felt too superbly positive in general lately, but happiness is a choice, right? right!
adieu for now,

Saturday, March 27, 2010

springtime weekend romp du jour, the morning edition.

hello, beautiful saturday!! i woke up a half dozen times this morning thinking i was running late for work. oi. needless to say, i have been up and about for two and half hours, have consumed frightening quantities of coffee, have had a lot of laughs and great conversation with the roomie; and now i'm sitting on my bed looking at the sun pouring in through my windows and wondering what the next step in my luxurious day off will entail.
after a slightly bizarre encounter last evening; and one of the weirdest, most epic dreams last night i am in kind of a funny place. a little wonky and kind of needing a hug but i'm cool. it's a perfect weekend for some thought-filled quiet. i have been kind of wanting to disappear lately. if only i could do that thing that endorra did on bewitched when she'd disappear. make a dramatic gesture and a column of smoke would appear, a groovy little sound would resonate and i'd be gone.
top picture: looking out my window and daydreaming.
bottom picture: the blowfish hanging from the ceiling of the tiki bar i tend to frequent on the weekends.

Friday, March 26, 2010

springtime weekend romp du jour...the prelude

just a few more hours left until i get my weekend. i am so excited, i don't even know where to begin! i was hoping to go to the library and check out a classic or two to enjoy in the sunshine on a lawn of some sort. then i realized it's springtime tallahassee tomorrow. wowsa. big parade, lots of people, beads being thrown, some dude dressed up as ponce de leon sweating profusely and half-waving at the slew of youngins bolting to the street for "gold coins"; and though this does indeed sound fantastic, and at some point i was one of those youngins i...ahem...i'm not big on crowds.
i was lamenting this charming quirk of mine, and subsequent conundrum to my roomie when she mentioned she just happened to have a couple of the classics i was in the mood to read! how fortuitous! i can have my sunshiney, read-y date with myself after all.
i'm pretty stoked to have two days off. i'm a little burned out and i know the time will do me some good.
the chateau is looking pretty awesome right now, if i do say so myself, and i only have maybe one or two nights worth of work until the place is all finished and completely, officially inhabitable as "the chateau". yay me!
well, i reckon i'm going to steal some sugar from the little buddy and do a little bit more daydreaming about all the things i want to do this weekend. *sigh* keep me away from all picture windows today for i am sure to get lost in thought.
adieu for now,

Thursday, March 25, 2010

mo pictchas

today's picture: the chateau after a few more hours of organization. eventually the entire space will be clean and a picture taken displaying such will be posted. tonight? just glad 1/4 it is looking truly decent. yesterday's picture: the wonderful sight i get to enjoy when i come home from work every day. a happy little buddy running a million miles an hour to get some kisses and cuddles.

wild & crazy procrastinator lady

hello kiddos, 'tis thursday. the weekend seems so far away i need a telescope. i am greatly looking forward to heading back to the chateau this evening and organizing. i've made a great deal of progress this week and can't wait until i have a little area designated for yoga practice (i need to make the option of yoga more attainable otherwise i'll never do it). the more i get done tonight and tomorrow, the better i will feel this weekend. having a weekend free from the frustration of unpacked boxes and piles of laundry sounds pretty amazing. it's only been three and a half weeks since i moved's like the christmas tree incident all over again. heh.
off i go. back to work. here's hoping the last couple hours at work fly by, i'm antsy!
adieu for now,
*pictures to come.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

i have an unhealthy affinity for jack hannah.

good morning kids. i don't know how it is that i can let an entire morning escape me. i got up an hour early this morning and somehow am still running late getting ready for work! could it be the allure of jack hannah on good morning america getting peed on my ginormous rabbits and chasing after little teeny tiny baby bears? very possible. i don't watch t.v. often and i count myself very lucky that he just happened to be on this morning. since i was a kid, i've always loved watching to see in what way he will get bamboozled by the animals on live television. heh.
i am having a baby animal overload today. my roomie just showed me a video of a micro-pig named kingsford that had me cooing and making grabby hands at the screen because i want one sooooo badly.
but what i really need...i really need a shower and to get my butt in gear because i'm not even halfway done with my week (and already pretty much READY to have a weekend) and have another nice long 8 hours of work ahead of me today (24 left for the week).
here i go.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

fun girls

there are many reasons i adore my roomie. she is one super cool, dynamic lady and i'm better for having met her. every morning we meet in the kitchen and laugh until it hurts about whatever it is we think is funny at the moment. this morning it was about my dream about john stamos last night. heh.

today on my lunch break i came home and noticed a stack of um...well, hilarious stuff. apparantly a friend decided to get her a gag gift; and my roomie had it displayed on the kitchen table knowing i would delight in it. she knows me all too well.

so a giggle for you today friends, because i have been wearing these around the house for about half an hour, and probably will continue to every day because...why not? plus it makes her laugh every time i walk by and laughter is a sweet, sweet sound.

adieu for now,


Monday, March 22, 2010


my lazy sunday face. nice, eh?
my spic & span chateau. well, my bed at least, the rest of the joint looks good too. been cleanin' all night.

oh look, it's a monday.

'allo friends! 'tis monday and i'm not nearly as perky as that greeting may indicate. but, i'm glad to be alive and remotely coherent this morning. i did a really good job of getting absolutely nothing done yesterday except lay in bed...well, until later in the evening when i met up with some friends (i found $10 and had a good time spending it). but now i'm more exhausted than i was when my weekend began.
goal for the week: no staying out past 9 (except for family dinner). nothing fiscally responsible happens for me after 9 p.m.
well, i know it's a wee post (that made me giggle) but i should get ready for work; and yes, i am aware that i haven't posted any pics in two days but i have them and will post them.
adieu for now,

Sunday, March 21, 2010

the space between sleep & awake

no beach or long walks in the woods for ole lulu today. it has been a rainy, wonderfully dreary day today. that sounds weird, i know. but, i'm really enjoying the dark sky and drizzly weather. it makes me feel totally justified in being under the covers watching old saturday night live episodes. i did get out for a bit to have coffee with a friend's mother this morning. that was really enjoyable but i'm glad to be home, relaxing.
i know i need to get some cleaning done at the chateau and i'm sure that i will. but for this brief moment, i am reveling in my slothfulness; thinking about all kinds of things, and hoping tomorrow morning takes its time arriving. this quiet is nice.
adieu for now,

p.s. picture to come, i literally am too lazy to get out of bed and get the camera out of my purse to download pictures. don't judge.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

the noisy quiet

happy saturday, folks. it's a beautiful spring day in tally and i am heading to work soon. no worries, only a few hours until my lil weekend starts.

today i am over-rested and over-caffienated. i am also anxiously awaiting a little quiet time tomorrow. even thinking about heading to the coast for the afternoon if it isn't too rainy. i have chosen to make mental rest my priority next week. even though i have been taking somewhat decent care of myself (minus the day after st. paddy's...good gracious) and getting a lot of sleep this week i still feel like i've been pulled in 5000 different directions.

when my mind is discombobulated, my house reflects it. then the opposite occurs. my house is a mess, then my mind is overwhelmed. the poor chateau. there are clothes everywhere and a few boxes left to unpack. it's a cycle. ish.

tonight's plans are to dance around to some old country music while getting dressed, then head out to see a friends band (the one i missed on wednesday). after that, i would really like to go home and get some sleepimans.

i very much look forward to waking up with seven laying next to me and the sun pouring in through the window; then having "a day". a day in which i don't have to do a damn thing but relax and be quiet and well... just be. if i can't make it to the coast, i will be taking another walk in the woods methinks. i need some nature.

i haven't anything more interesting than that to say at the moment.
adieu for now, lovelies! enjoy your weekend.
*top: playin' around this morning
bottom: last night making cuddlemans with the little love of my life.

Friday, March 19, 2010

someone dig up freud & tell him he's met his match.

some people have odd dreams. i have the weirdest, most vivid epic adventure/horror/unidentifiable dreams. in each one: an old house or building of some sort (haunted or falling apart if it's a bad dream), a bridge (rickety and unstable if it's a bad dream), and water (filled with sharks or alligators if it's a bad dream). the cast of players in my dreams rotates on a regular basis. but there is always something that needs to be done or someone i need to find. i tend to wake up more tired after my dreams than when i went to bed. with all of the nuttiness happening with my friends leaving etc. i haven't been dreaming as much. until last night.
good gracious! impending storms, diabolical children, a fabulous chartreuse sofa, a rat hole of an apartment that is so unsafe for me to live in that i just leave my stuff in it and move into some sort of commune-type place.
last night there were ancient shipwrecks near an unfamiliar rocky beach. there were maps coming to life indicating the history of the ships (dutch i think), mini-ice ages and wars and strange coastlines. there were families around everywhere. families on the beach, families i was trying to save from the storm. my mom and i were modeling pajamas from my store as thick black storm clouds formed above our heads, and we rushed to save people from the ominous carnage-inducing fingers of a massive tornado.
*yawn* the overriding feeling i get this morning is that life is chaotic. shit happens that you can't control; but that i, for the most part, do a pretty decent job of taking care of myself and have a big heart and desire to help others...and i like dutch boats and chartreuse.
more later, kiddos...
(pic to come)

Thursday, March 18, 2010

parenthetical cyclones

the tsunami of st. patrick's day is done. i didn't plan on going out and being boisterous, but boisterous and out i indeed was. i had a super fun time with my favourite leprechaun at the fake irish bar in town, then proceeded to truly enjoy the company of two lady friends as we basically went all over town. i missed the show i wanted to see but got to reconnect with some friends at the venue as a trade. then off we went to the fake new orleans bar which makes my skin crawl but we went anyway. guess who has a problem with crowds? that's right, me. and guess who got stuck wedged between the bar and the crowd? that's right, me. hyperventilation aside i closed the evening with a great chat (albeit i tend to ramble waaay too much after guinness) with a lady friend that did my heart some good.

today there are rumbles of drama in the distance (but this is tallahassee, what else is new?). wicked storms are brewing that, years ago, i would have driven right toward because it was normal to get sucked up into a tornado like that. now i am learning (slowly) to drive away from them. well, i am trying my damndest to anyway. i had a brief encounter yesterday that made me cringe when i woke up this morning and looked over my evening. old habits and what-not. basically i had a moment when i realized not only had i just landed myself smack dab in the middle of a field during a lightening storm (again); but also found myself in a suit made of metal. that's right, a lightening conductor suit of my own design. weird moment. however, i am determined not to get struck by lightening, sucked up into the cyclone, or have a house dropped on me again. thank goodness i live so far out of town, i can basically disappear if i choose to do so.

aaanyway, i'm off work today and about to go have lunch with a cohort. i am very much looking forward to it. i haven't a clue what else to do with my day but the stack of dishes in my room hint subtly that i should perhaps work on some domestic tasks. meh. we shall see. maybe i'll rent twister instead.

enjoy your day friends!
top pic: a typical shelf at my house.
middle pic: me and b celebratin' st. paddy's day. our little tradition.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

hibernation is the new yoga

oh dear. i just woke up after sleeping for thirteen hours. i didn't mean to but i simply could not stop sleeping. yesterday doesn't feel like it happened at all nor does sunday. i was barely with it for either. this weekend seems like it was a month ago. and now i have fifteen minutes to shower, change, grab some breakfast and/or coffee and hit the road for work. ish kabibble.

i do have to say i woke up more peaceful today than i have in a really long time. as in, i couldn't tell you how long. oh how i miss my friends (my gal is flying into nyc today...good luck snickerdoodle!) and oh i am tired of grieving the way that i have.
i woke up this morning and looked at my phone, worried just how late i had slept past my alarm (an hour and a half) and noticed i had two messages from two completely random people whom i haven't seen much lately or don't usually get to see. both of whom extolled genuine care for my existence and i have to say it was overwhelming in the greatest possible way.
here i am today, friends. i care that you exist, please know that.
adieu for now,

*pics: top: how everything has looked and felt lately. attractive, no? bottom: me when i woke up at 11ish last night realizing i hadn't taken a picture for the day. no, my mind never stops.

Monday, March 15, 2010

monday monday

last night was my sendoff not only to my gal, but also to my extended emotional unrest. i may be tired today but i know i'm on the other side of the to speak. thanks to a sweetie of a friend (who knew i was feeling a little lonely), i got an impromptu slumber party last night replete with girlie giggles about boys and a couple of serious moments about "life stuff". sufficed to say it was a little later than i had planned when i finally fell asleep but i'm glad she came over.
today i work. i'm not ready. i don't feel like i had much of a weekend and i definitely do not feel rested, but that's alright. you gotta do what you gotta do.
but tonight... tonight i am going home and i'm not doing anything other than putter around the chateau. i get the little buddy back on tuesday and i can't wait to snuggle with him again, then go to family dinner. oh but tonight...i just want to put in a movie and decompress from everything. wish me luck, friends.
adieu for now,
*today's pic will be posted later in the day.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

have you ever been out walking in the woods?

hello folks. 'tis sunday. typically i would be walking in the woods, and i may still do that. right now i am sleepily typing and have been putting away clothes while my gal pal tries to sort out the details of an unforeseen inconvenience toward her great departure.

last night we had a fabulous evening filled with friends (exponential amounts of friends), mirth, and cocktails. there were a few tears but fortunately (and oddly enough) i wasn't the one crying this time. it felt really great to see so many people come out and support my girl. it did my heart some good to get some visiting in with some friendly faces from back in the day as well.

sufficed to say, i didn't overdo it but i sure as heck went to bed late late late. so today i am a little dazed. the lack of sleep partnered with the incredible amount of constant intense emotion have left me a little out of it.

throughout all of the aforementioned distractions, i have been thinking a lot. once again i realize that i need not say everything in my head and my heart. i need not whine, i need not express it all the way i have been. silencio. it will be a good practice for me in the long run methinks.

methinks i also need a nap. eventually that will occur. for now, i am happily back in business as sidekick to my friend while she still needs me to be. holy sleepy best buds, batman!

adieu for now,
*today's pic: lulu's patented tar coffee insta-waker-upper for two gal pals recovering from a super fun evening.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

busy girls are happy girls...and tired girls.

hey kiddos, 'tis saturday. me and the gal pal have been at it, packing up her earthly possessions in preparation for the big move. it's been a day full of giggles and swiping fabulous things that she wants to get rid of, and eating fried chicken. that's right, fried chicken and drinking really cheap champagne to be exact. it's been wonderful and smooth-sailing thank goodness. no tears even. just peace and busywork.
yesterday, i said adieu to one wonderful person who should be a few miles into the appalachian trail by now (good luck and have fun, darling friend!) and today is all about my girl. right now we are coming down from the bustle of relocation and are recalibrating for an evening of fun and fond well-wishings from those who love her.
i am doing rather well. a little blue but nothing compared to last week in which i was pretty much certifiable out of sadness. yes, i may have a few more cocktails than usual tonight, but i honestly am good. i love my gal. i love this adventure she is taking part in, and i love the possibilities of what may lie ahead for me.
kudos to the wonderful people in my life who hath manifested great changes.
adieu for now,
*today's pics: top o' the mornin' o' movin' to ya! and a surprise visit from a little buttercup named piper. mwah!

Friday, March 12, 2010

well, do ya....punk?

what puts me on the edge of a nervous breakdown? a bad meal and a bad lover. ~sonia rykiel

good morning friends. i am rather bemused with the events transpiring this weekend. i truly am sad somewhere inside today but there is a c'est la vie calm overriding it. thank goodness because i am so tired of being blue and crying. i am almost beligerent when the tears start rolling forth like an unstoppable wave. "stop right there you mangy sadness! you're not welcome in this town" i want to say, my hand above the revolver in my holster and the sun glistening off of my pentagonal badge. and though i know i am out-numbered and will eventually be defeated and will cry like a little baby...again, i'm really hoping i can make it until sunday afternoon before i do. i feel it is important to be stronger than i have been. so here i go, partner. wish me luck, thus begins the weekend of goodbyes!

...adieu for now,


Thursday, March 11, 2010

more than a feeling!

breathe easy kids. i'm doing much better today. a good visit with my roomie, a much-needed indian food/fermentation lounge dinner date with my gal pal, and sweet messages from my mama and dapper gentleman twin and i'm on the road to less self-pity and more fun. i had a great night catching up with my gal pal. we miss each other a lot but don't want to bother each other because we both know one another is busy (and yes i realize how silly we sound) then we go through withdrawals and then well, you saw what happens to me.

we chatted, laughed, mmmmmm'd over amazing food, gossiped a little, planned my next visit to see her, then met up with some friends at one of those hilarious pool hall bars. there we proceeded to laugh more and talk seinfeld and new york and generally be merry. i'm so glad i got some great time with her last night. she's my uber-bud. my heart feels better now that i got a night like that with her.

today in tally it is rainy rainy rainy. i woke up to that delightful "too late in the morning to be this dark" feeling and heard the drops plink-plunking on the roof. it makes me smile. i must procure some tomato soup at some point today.

little bud is at his dad's house still and i can't help but giggle a little knowing he's inevitably going to be covered in mud today. heh. i forgot to mention that i gave him a haircut the other day. poor thing. looks like he got hit with a weed-whacker. i can't wait to snuggle with him again on sunday.
this is me today. not much going on since yesterday but i'm still here and happily so.
adieu for now,
a slightly less emotionally unstable lu.
*today's pic: the view behind my desk. dark rainy thursday morning. aren't my new blinds fabulous?

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

call the people with the giant butterfly nets.

good evening friends. i have but a moment before running off to dinner with my gal pal. things are goodish. i'm not happy with myself right now but that's okay. i am sentimental and really weepy and pitiful but at this point, anything goes really; so you may as well throw in some really great punches while you can. we both know i can take 'em.

the thing is, is that i know that everything in my life is actually cool. it's sad that people are leaving but i know i will be fine. i have awesome people here just waiting for me to stop being ridiculous so they can hang out with me. but here i am. crying all day every day and trying really hard not to ruin perfectly good moments. ugh. it's embarrassing. i just want to stop being sad and pathetic for a minute. i miss the old lu. so does everyone else. what the hell? seriously. i'm a case study.

*today's pic: meeting an adorable little ray of sunshine named lillian. her laugh has healing properties.


i didn't get a chance to post yesterday. it's been a wild week. i have been overwhelmed by emotions and not sleeping well; having bizarre dreams and laying awake staring off into the abyss that is the ceiling fan. great things have been occurring every day, nothing is all that bad but yesterday i was superbly floored by how sad i am (amongst a myriad of other emotions and kooky psychoses that wait until the worst possible moment to say "hi there! i live here now!").
i don't know why i can't just shut my damn mouth sometimes. why do i HAVE to express every single thing i think and feel? it isolates the people i really like and makes me feel like a giant rotten terd.
oh well. today's a new day. and it's an odd awakening that all of these times that i've been enjoying and am so afraid of losing are all yesterdays now. it's a good time to remind myself of that delightful old saying of mine "if you've got one foot in yesterday and one foot in tomorrow, then you're pissing all over today". that's what happened yesterday. i'm too stubbourn to let that happen again today or tomorrow or the day after that. oh but i'm still aggravated with myself. ugh. no time for that either.

yesterday's pic: wine & an eggplant vase at dinner after meeting a truly interesting woman who encouraged me to talk about myself (which we all know, outside of a blog, is always dangerous).

adieu for now kiddos.
your friendly neighbourhood sad sack tenderheart,

Monday, March 8, 2010

same ole lu

happy monday. ironic? perhaps. today is yet another exquisite pre-spring tallahassee day (we're starting to get spoiled methinks). i am on my lunch break and looking around the chateau, trying to figure out what i will tackle first once my time is "freed up" this sunday. it's been a hectic week emotionally and socially. this week is no different. i wouldn't trade it for anything but i do have to say i am flat out exhausted and trying not to be as terribly sad as i feel. i am soaking up every single moment i can with every single person i can before i am hermited away in the chateau de solitude.

i will get to spend a couple of days straight with my gal pal before she hits the bricks and i am really glad for that. a few days of just giggling and helping her do whatever she may need. then, of course, there will be the requisite cocktail going-away party the night before she leaves. i'm stoked it's going to be a fun vibe instead of a sad vibe. every time i get one of our silly mid-day text messages from her, i get a little blue; which is silly because we will be doing the exact same thing when she's up in new york. i'm just sentimental. *sigh*

i reckon, i should head back to work. summary: gorgeous day, stubbourn sadness, even more stubbourn-optimism. love to all!



*beautiful flowers from a beautiful person.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

queen of the hill

hey kids. it's sunday funday and i just got back from hiking at torreya state park. it's been an afternoon filled with laughter and good talks and unbelievably beautiful weather and scenery. it's also been a day of constant not-so-subtle reminders that i am not in the best shape i've ever been in. and how! despite that setback, it was so very much fun and yet another memory made that will stay with me for a very long time. i hope your sunday funday has as well! i'm off to make kababs!
love to all!
p.s. i happy.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

saturday itdon'tmatterday

hey kids, it's saturday and i have triple-booked myself. no worries. i'm enjoying my insane social calendar for the next week before it's left wide open like a barn door. little buddy got a haircut last night (which is a very nice way of saying i totally butchered his 'do) and is at his dad's house for the next 9 days.
today is gorgeous in tallyhooha. the absolutely splendid weather has done wonders for my psyche. i will miss it terribly when it is a sweltering 103 degrees with 4000 percent humidity. i've been thinking a lot about what i want to do over the next 6-7 months and i see a couple of road trips (asheville?!), plane trips (new york and chicago), and some major overhauling of my mind, body, and bedroom. it'll be rad. i'm betting on some major laughs with my roomie and friends, and come that inevitable hot weather a daily dunk in the pool and several beach trips.
i am being positive and attempting to be proactive. as for now though, i have to go to work.
i hope your saturday is absolutely beautiful and sufficiently enjoyed, friends!
adieu for now,

Friday, March 5, 2010

turtle herders & puppy wranglers

g'mornin campers, 'tis friday and i am guzzling a truly magnificent batch of coffee and listening to bluegrass. i am desperately avoiding having to bring seven in from the backyard because he is belly deep in dirt from playing all morning. it's been a while since he's had a big fenced in place to run and he is loving every second he gets to tear up my roomie's yard. thankfully she's low key enough to just laugh at him; the little muddy nut that he is.
as for me, i'm thinking a lot. i'm super overwhelmed with all i have to do at the chateau. so much so that i put one or two things away before i just sit down and stare. i think it's a combination of where my head is with where my stuff is (everywhere). ha! i'm feeling good, a little sadness inside but overall accepting of the fact that i'm closing a couple of big chapters and making room to open a couple of new ones (i've always been a multi-tasker, one chapter is never enough). i feel a wave of positivity and hope for the things i will be getting done this year. i am in a really good place even though a few episodes of my regularly scheduled life will have moved on to other channels on the set. i know i am capable of great strength (if not great stubbournness), i just have to tap into it. you know, like a keg. ha!
i'm off like a herd of turtles, folks.
*today's pics: ode to seven and the mud. top, "aw mama! stop takin' pictures!", right, amused mama and muddy baby. left, seven's tough guy face (it was actually a yawn. it's really exhausting to run in circles for an hour and a half!) that's ma boy.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

a night in

good evening friends! man, am i glad to be at the chateau. it's been a good day albeit a long day; now i am enjoying a beer and flight of the conchords and staring vacantly at a slew of bags and boxes left to be organized. too bad i'm so beat that i kind of want to laze about and eat sunchips (feel free to bring some by if'n you're so inclined...i like the french onion kind).

each day there seems to be about fifty things that remind me yet again that in a week and a half two of my friends won't be here to hang out and play anymore. my deep-seeded abandonement issues have been checked at the door, so no worries there; yet, i am gripped daily with the bittersweet. hmmm. oh well, such is life. it actually is a bittersweet ride most of the time, huh?

*sigh* i reckon i'll put my big girl britches on and get to gettin'. no wallerin' tonight.

adieu for now,

today's pic: tired lady in front of her mexican bowl. if you've seen it once you've seen it a million times. :-)

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

guten tag

good morning friends! i officially have about five minutes to write about what's rattling around in this noggin of mine before i have to dash out the door for my new extended commute to work (which really isn't that bad, but it does make me have to snap to it in the mornings instead of lazing about).

i have a truly mad-dash of a week coming up. with my friends leaving town there are going-aways slated, last minute cocktail hours, dinners upon dinners, and last-ditch attempts for down time to really get some good visitin' in. *sigh* by mid-march i will have nothing to do but sit and stare at my belly button. ha! we all know that's not true, but still. suddenly, the carnival ride will screech to a halt and i'll be sitting there weeble wobbling and nauseous from all the carni food.

today i am heading off to the shop after taking some days off to get the chateau in order. it's coming together but i do keep getting overwhelmed and totally forgot to run one of the most important errands i HAD to get done yesterday. oh well, i will try to get up early and do that tomorrow.

life is sweet today. i have gorgeous morning light pouring into the room and a rapidly ticking clock that says "go to work!"

adieu for now,

*today's pic: beautiful flowers in my new "office" at the chateau.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010


hahahahaha! yesssss! i got the internet working! i kind of feel more normal now that i can have my little routine again. whew!

picture below is my room as of the end of moving day sunday. it looks about as with it as i did that evening. it is looking waaaay better and cooler now...

last night, brandi carlile rockin' it like you would not believe. soooo much fun! this morning outside on my new patio, enjoying the rain and laughing at seven who was just standing in it and staring at me. yes, he is now even more filthy than before (i didn't know it was possible).

ugh. i can't tell you how good it feels to be "back in business" so to speak. more pics, more info, more insight to come. but's time for me to go get my hair did.

tuesday snoozeday

alright kiddies, 'tis tuesday and i have hijacked my roomie's laptop because i cannot get any internet signal yet. that mystery will get solved (and pics posted) as soon as possible. meanwhile, i am impatiently awaiting my coffee to brew while somehow managing to burn my veggie sausage this morning (and it's the last one! it always happens with the last one!).
the chateau is looking great. i woke up with a big grin on my face this morning. wish i could lounge in bed all day but i've got about 3000 errands to run (including getting my hair done for the first time since november).
last night i saw brandi carlile perform in town and she was incredible. if any of you have spent more than an hour in a vehicle with me then i've probably played you brandi carlile. excellent show! so glad i got to go and share it with my gal pal.
don't like to cut it short guys, but i still have a kajillion things i have to get done before heading back to work tomorrow. much love and much music!

Monday, March 1, 2010


ugh. i did it again. i was so busy yesterday that i didn't post for the last day of the month. OCD argh!!! well, the funky little shack is no longer mine, i have moved into the chateau. so far so great! i can't wait to organize and put the lulu touch on this new little place. a coupla things: i'm busier than a one-armed paper hanger for the next couple of days so my posts may not be up to snuff but they will exist. second, my camera battery is dead, so yesterday's picture and today's will be delayed in posting until i find my charger which is in one of the 300 bags and boxes in my room at the moment.
stay tuned, it will return to normal soon (i hope)...