Tuesday, June 30, 2009

i still love me. so there!

it is very frustrating when someone has made up their mind about you regardless of what you do that proves their theory otherwise.
i'm experiencing this with a friend whose friendship i will be sad to see dissipate.
however, after hearing this person's opinion of me, i'm neither surprised to see it go, nor so sad that it couldn't be cured by anything other than a quiet night of reflection.
alas, a quiet night of reflection is not an option for several nights. probably not until friday.
public and personal opinions are a very fickle, fragile, amporpheous thing most of the time.
i'm the kind of person that succeeds in private and fails in public. that's my legacy in the town that i live in. fail fail fail.
many people dislike me, loathe me, and think things about me that aren't true or are fragments of the truth. some people hate me for the appropriate truth.
perhaps it is like this with this friend. perhaps this person has every right to think so little of me. i sure as hell cannot stop this person or anyone for that matter.
i am told i am loved and cherished for who i am. but, bullshit really annoys me.
i believe, if i were loved and cherished for who i am, then this person's opinion wouldn't feel so condescending and cruel. i have opinions of this person as well, but they have unfortunately been proven incorrect.
oh well. i have worked very hard to get my life on track. my need for external validation has waned greatly over the most difficult year of my life. now i know that i am (and even have been before) a strong, independent, delightfully silly, gregarious, creative, sensitive, empathetic, sincere and loving person.

the fact of the matter is i truly love myself. i truly know myself and i have a handful of people in my life that know me and love me too.
perhaps that is all i need.
later, friends.

conspiracy day

okay, so i've moved off of the mj conspiracy theory. everyone else is doing a fine job of it without my assistance.

today's silly conspiracy: sjp and her new twins. i don't mean new knockers. real twins.
yay for the parker-brodericks adding to their brood!!!! she said they were carried and born thanks to a surrogate. i think that's really awesome.
now, i love me some sjp. i think she is cute as pie and i am actually super-happy for them. as much as one can be who actually doesn't know them.

i couldn't help but think though, as ridiculous as i am, about the movie The Island.
in this movie, people clone themselves and the clones live in this crazy, sterile, uber-healthy world hoping for the chance to go to "the island" (which in reality means something happened to the "original" and they need their organs or something).
also in this movie, celebrities have clones that carry their babies for them and stuff. what if that really was happening and we thought that it was just some awful movie with scarlett johannson?!

alright, enough crazy talk for now. back to work. this is what happens on incredibly long and frustrating days at work btw.


random list

'tis tuesday.
life is good, albeit a little overwhelming.
i'm exhaustified.
my right eyeball is twitching.
the barely containable urge to go home and hang out with my pup is consuming me.
i'm glad the first month of summer is over. that means only three more months of unbearable heat! what a bizarre strain of optimism that was.
i need to find my center. i need peace and patience and serenity. i was going to go to a meeting last night, but i was really ready to unpack after housesitting for three weeks so i did that instead.
i can't wait to clean my house and get organized again.
i want to be happy at work.
i want the time and ability to get my online store up and going. it's a month delayed in opening, and that frustrates me.
i want more thunderstorms. they relax me.
'tis tuesday.

Monday, June 29, 2009

perfect match

i saw Away We Go last night. it is a lovely film.
it encapsulates the odd place our generation is finding itself in (now that we are in our late 20's, early 30's and) questioning whether or not we are f*ck-ups. finding our footing with old notions of success and our own new concepts that are still forming.

john krasinski is excellent as a sort of laid-back, relatively clueless, post-stoner (burt). he is unabashedly his own unique breed of man with a delightful smattering of believable depth and tenderness and appropriate rage at times.

maya rudolph is luminous. her character (verona) can hardly contain the millions of emotions and thoughts she seems to be experiencing being six months pregnant; and is beautifully convincing through her emotive expressions and the earnest delivery of her lines.

brilliantly executed, the film follows them as they try to determine how best, if at all feasible, to put down roots. they live in poverty basically (how they afford to travel as much as they did, i'll never know). both characters show they're general ennui, optimism, realism, idealism, sadness, annoyance, and love.
more than anything they reconnect their love throughout the adventure. though they never say "i love you" in the film, and not that their love ever seems to disspate; they just seem to have an invisible set of two cans and a string that connect them when they need it most. it's a beautiful perfect-in-its-imperfections type of chemistry.
the people, friends, and family they encounter are excellent charicatures (played by too many awesome cameos to note) of people we have all known and met (some regrettably so). each place they visit has a thin veneer of possibility, but none seem to fit just right; that is, until they are forced to dig a bit deeper.
the soundtrack was a collection of songs by one of my favourite artists, alexi murdoch; and his nonchalant, soothing voice fit these two sojourners very well (though a few tracks by some other relatively similar artists would have spiced it up a bit) and help guide us with burt and verona as they fumble their way through their quest.

all i'm going to say about the end is this: trampoline, plastic fruit and remarkably welcome poignancy.

i hope you feel the bittersweet love/reality/optimism combination that had me in tears and unable to finish my reese's pieces (a feat that has rarely occurred in my 27 years).

it's a new classic, in my opinion. a love story for our generation that is without pretense. one that possesses a great deal of wry wit and sincerity.

support your local indie theatres and see this movie.


Sunday, June 28, 2009


as you can tell, i love the syle network and it is really the ONLY thing i miss from not having cable.

i love this new show, ruby. this lovely southern gal is such an inspiration for her optimisim and determination to make her life what she wants it to be.

it's the same concept as clean house but it's for her body. she's getting rid of the old and encouraging people all across the nation to take better care of themselves as well.

i also love that she's a southern girl and that accent is so pleasin' to the soul.

now this inspirational lady is walking across america!!!!

go on girl, go on!

Saturday, June 27, 2009

saturday obsession. EVERY DAY obsession.

i love clean house. it's my jam. i love organizing and decorating.

mark brunetz being so bored with all that shit and his hilarious catty, drama queen snaps.

trish suhr, making me homesick for the south even while i'm still living in the south.

matt iseman, all cute and perverse.

and my main gal neicy nash.

i just love this ridiculous show. it makes me emotional because i live by the concept of always being capable of upward mobility, whether it be physically, emotionally, spiritually etc.
i want to work for clean house except for the whole having to be in california thing.

now, i know what you're thinking. oooh miss lulu! when you gonna come over to my house and organize and decorate it and make it look fabulous?

you know what i'm gonna tell you; i can only work my magic, one household at a time.

Friday, June 26, 2009


does anyone else think that mj's death is faked? that perhaps, because of lackluster record sales and this looming tour which had been postponed, that he needed to prove not only to himself but to the rest of the world that he still is the man and deserved to be honored.

just me?

it's still totally a bummer. and his death totally stole farrah fawcett's thunder, which makes me sad too. could you have held off one more day to give the lady her spotlight so she could be mourned? girlfriend had a rough go of it, y'know?

regardless, despite all of my beef with mj, he was still my jam back in the day. i wanted to marry him when i was about four years old. his musical influence is undeniable and i'm choosing to forget anything that was publicized after '89. i think that's a safe way to keep his awesomeness alive.

as for farrah. it's the end of an era (no rhyme intended). she gave people a new concept of sex symbol. natural, active, healthy(ish), with great hair! and i'm choosing to remember her pre-space cadet on letterman.

R.I.P. representatives of a time that is quickly disappearing. you will be missed.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

insurance and ruffles

i feel a little better today! hoorah! i've got range of motion baby! i'm going to be talking to insurancey people today and i'm hoping they have some sort of good new for me. i'm a little nervous about that.

well, to assuage my anxiety, i went faux-shopping online.
this is my new favourite bathing suit by betsey johnson. i haven't wanted a one-piece since i was like 12.
this one has sparked my imagination. i picture myself running along the beach in st. george, playing frisbee, and having the cutest ruffled hiney those dunes have ever seen!
adieu for now, doods

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

who doesn't love a self-help book?!

i'm reading this book called life's a bitch- then you change careers. i've been wanting to find my next step for let's see...a year and a half now. the problem is, i have a myriad of interests, a handful of skills and haven't the foggiest what that translates to.
since seven's vet bill cracked over $300 and the latest stuff with jane (who, if she's repairable, will also be needing new brakes and new tires which equals $500+) i've been analyzing my income vs. bills vs. savings etc. and all i can say is...mama needs some major funds to flow her way.
i've got to get back to the ole apartmento and work on the feng shui that's been crumbling since i've been housesitting for two weeks. perhaps i'll unlock some untapped financial/career/life potential. here's a-hopin'!

jane jane don't go away.

i have been having the weirdest dreams lately. last night i tossed and turned despite the fact that the muscles in my neck, and shoulders were stiff and sore. i'm debating whether or not to go to the doctor. i don't think there is anything they can do and i believe x-rays would be a superfluous medical cost, and a time-waster.
However, i do not feel up to opening the store at 10 like usual. i left a sign on it that said we'd reopen this afternoon. i feel guilty that i'm not there but also feel like crap hence my wednesday conundrum.
all of this car crashing nonsense has made me emotional. my head is all fuzzy and i just want things to work out excellently and not have to stay on the phone with insurance people or worry about a car.
it's brought up a lot of stuff about my grandma who helped me buy jane honda. she passed away almost a year ago. it's almost like i had just a few things that have kept me connected to her and little by little they are being taken away.
these are physical things and i'm only being left with memories. i've always be so terrified of being left with only memories. it's not as real or accurate. bit by bit, the reality of her being gone is made more painfully evident now that our project (jane honda) is off somewhere being analyzed as to whether she can be fixed or not.
adieu for now.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

wham bam thank you ma'am.

today has been a day. life is still good, but i have no car, and my muscles hurt really bad. wanna know why?
jane honda and i got hit by a lady in a van this morning. my car has been towed, it's so crumpledy. that makes me sad because she's the most awesome badass car ever and my grandma helped me buy her four years ago.
i'm good except my neck and hand hurt a little. i got sloshed around something crazy but so far so good. no need for the doctor.
all in all, i'm glad it wasn't worse than it was. the lady's insurance should cover it.
but damn! it was really scary and while jane honda held up like a champ; i sniffled and cried and laughed out of shear shock and adrenaline.
here's hoping tomorrow is even better!

Sunday, June 21, 2009

um, really?

query. kendra.

one quarter of me thinks she's cute as pie. until she speaks, of course.

half of me thinks she's a complete idiot and there is absolutely no reason she should have her own television reality show or be famous whatsoever.

one quarter of me thinks she must be a frickin' genius and she's laughing all the way to the bank.

i'm really good at fractions by the way.

happy sunday yous guys.


Saturday, June 20, 2009

and there you have it.

i am currently supervising senor mas and his roommate as they pack up their living room. i am supervising by listening to bob dylan (freewheelin') and sitting on my ass talking about liv tyler and the armageddon soundtrack/trivia. (that was a bold little geeky acknowledgement to make. wow.)
wouldn't you like me to supervise your next relocation? give me a call! i'm not only an excellent supervisor, i'm also a witty conversationalist and a helluva morale booster!
happy saturday, kids.

Friday, June 19, 2009


the real fun of this blog is being able to express to the infinite interwebs the silliest whims that overcome me. por ejemplo: i'm obsessed with frye boots. always have. always will.
like this bitchin' record cover of emmylou harris from the seventies. whether or not those are fryes, they rock. it's totally my jam and i've never had a pair.
the all-knowing interwebs magically sends me discount updates twice a week and have to show me beautiful things i cannot afford.

i love it as much as i loathe the moth-eaten wallet that smacks me in the face whenever i get ready to finally buy something i desperately covet.
i'm faux-retail-therapying and now, so are you...


i dreamed about going to savannah and another city north of that last night. it was really beautiful and exciting. the only thing that sucked (this is totally how my dreams are too) is that senor mas and i were discussing how best to make the drive back down to tally more bearable. my dreams can be a tad too detailed at times.
regardless, there was an electricity in the air that my body has been craving hence, my mind created it for me. groovy. thanks brain!
it is friday. i'm so congested it's almost sexy (almost). i'm working and very much looking forward to going home and snuggling with the pup tonight.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

total sidenote

i'm geeking out watching 50 best child star's on E (cable is such an anomoly!) and was just reunited with a longtime crush that i hadn't thought about in a while.
lukas haas.
for your viewing enjoyment, the little amish boy that could.
xo lukas!

just another lethargic thursday...

'tis thursday. the teasing whisper of the concept of weekend has brushed against my skin yet again and i sit at a desk counting down the time until i can go home and crawl into my jam jams and sleep (three hours and counting btw).

i'm on day five of no smokey no drinkey and i've contracted allergies from hell as a reward! blast & tarnation & achoooosniff!

i am longing for a trip somewhere cool. a new locale for all of my luluness to occur unonbstructed. lately, i feel like i have too much history here.

it is awesome to have people around that know all about you and the stupid crazy shit you've done; but, right now it's feeling a little claustrophobic, a little like i'm naked in front of the class.

i am very grateful for the blessings in my life, but man, i feel like running very far away.

damn gypsy blood.

adieu for now. sniff.


Wednesday, June 17, 2009

movin' on up biotches!

so i've realized that nothing can exist without some form of maintenance. i know this seems like the most stupid realization in the world but quite honestly it just punched me in my ovaries.

though, some things are very low-maintenance, ala hondas, rosemary, and pet rocks; others are incredibly high-maintenance and have been treated by me on a level playing field with the hondas, rosemary plants and pet rocks of my life.

therefore one must deduce, to make the aforementioned (and lamented), much-needed changes in ones' life, one must constantly maintain the little succulent seedlings of possibility and nurture and coerce them into becoming great big orchards and groves of positive change in ones' life.

aha! eureka! yadda yadda yadda.



my dueling wednesday personalities

sometimes i get in a mood that is so particular that i become aware that only certain acquaintances or friends can do much to help with it. i feel like that right now. today is the day i wish i were friends with dennis leary. only the snarkiest will do.

it's probably the opposite people i should be cohorting with on days like this so as not to get too carried away with it. like today i should be friends with kristin chenoweth or something. but i seem incapable of being able to bear the cuteness.

happy hump day invisible readers!



p.s. i think senor mas looks a lot like dennis leary in this picture. cute huh?

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

exhale shoop shoop what!

sooo, this weekend i accidentally od'd on nicotine, thanks to the patch. not that i was near death by any means, but i was sick as a dog for two days. i had an allergy to the adhesive in the patch and apparantly the dosage was waaaaay too much for me (though it was the recommended dose for how much i smoke). i should have known, i can't even take a whole tylenol pm without pulling a marilyn. good news is, i haven't smoked in three days.

here's to numero cuatro!


Monday, June 15, 2009

itchy feetses

ugh. i feel the paralyzing tingle of the urge for a locale change methinks. again.

i have reached or am frustratingly drawing nearer to my limit with several residents and the doldrums of my story in this dear city of mine. the way things are done. sigh.

i would like positive changes in my life.

not that i want anything drastic to happen. i just want to get going. i want point, direction, happiness, and the fear to dissipate.

i have felt increasingly separated from a lot of things lately and it makes me sad.

i feel like it's happening for a reason. i want so much for positive. i want so much to make happen all of the things i dream about.

i guess this is what is on my mind today.



Sunday, June 14, 2009

f-f-f-f-fo thangs

i deprive myself of several things and today i'm trying to figure out why exactly. here's what i've gotten so far.
1. shoes. i have the hardest time finding shoes that i like that look good with all the stuff i have. also, i don't like to spend a ton of money on shoes but all the ones i like are expensive! i feel guilty if i have a lot of shoes. like i'm being too decadent. where does this come from?
2. belts. i buy maybe one belt a year. the last two have come from goodwill. i look ridunkulous in belts but i ALWAYS need one. i want to be all cute and stylish and wear a belt on the outside of a cardigan or some shit like that. help!
3. pants. i'm not running around in underoos or anything but i want nice britches and i buy maybe three pair a year. 99% are jeans. i need lady pants. right now i want linen trousers in natural and black. but i have the hardest time justifying the purchase of them. what is this?!
4. medical care. i can buy a new hat every five minutes but i won't take myself to the gyn or the dentist. partially because i know my dentist bill at least will be astronomical. if only there were a twofer. the gynadentalist. two birds baby.
yeah....suggestions? donations? give me a call.

fetch the contessa whatever she may desire...

thank the dear sweet lord it is sunday. i have the day off tomorrow and i couldn't be more pleased about that. i'm housesitting this week and in my 3/4 month fantasy that i have money and a house, i'm taking full advantage by watching the barefoot contessa and blogging. classy, i know. if only my feet didn't look like i'd just hiked from canada to florida barefoot. oh well, it's not shattering my illusion, dammit! i'm still a barefoot contessa in my imaginary manor.

question: if you're doing a swanky brunch episode of your swanky cooking show, why would you do virgin marys instead of bloody marys? it only emphasizes that bloody mary is a disgusting name for a drink.

the b.c. also has hispanic help on this episode. i feel a little ashamed to be white right now.

happy sunday to my invisible readers!



Saturday, June 13, 2009

cuattro baby.

1. who gives a crap that kristen twilight whatever her name is got a mullet haircut?

2. how many more saturdays of my youth will be spent working in a shop? i'm stoked i have a job. i just would like weekend-friendly job at some point in my life.

3. god help me with my retail therapy issues right now.

4. i want to rock this kind of look but with a smile, some meat on my bones, and my own personal aplomb.


i am tired. it has been a long week. i haven't been home since tuesday because of the show and the housesitting. i've got a nic patch on and it's itching like crazy. i'm hungover like it's my job. my job is furthering the tired cycle. alas, it is saturday.
i had a great time in atlanta visiting with my females and seeing a great show. i'm not allowed within twenty-five yards of an urban outfitters from now on because all that money i saved, i am now wearing in highly fashionable goods.
i went to a house party last night and shared music with some new people, recieved a rather icy welcome from three of my friends, and proceeded to drink my weight in booze. ruh-roh.
but, life is good. i'm good. my liver has had better days, but all in all it's kittens and rainbows and puppy breath and a decent day in the life of lu.
happy saturday y'all.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

a mixed bag

several things:

1. i'm overwhelmed with happy emotions for my friend who got married this weekend in vegas. it's nice to know people out there feel that kind of love.

2. i'm in absolute dread (and pissed with myself for it) of the next three weeks for reasons i cannot express to the universe via the interwebs.

3. i'm excited to see etta james & al green in atlanta with my ladyfriends tomorrow night even though i have so much going on this week, i'm already exhausted.

4. i'm bummed my brand new computer is not working properly. i've had it for three days!

5. i'm f***in' tired of being addicted to cigarettes.

6. i want to be friends with these two hilarious kiwis because they have made me laugh throughout a twisted, bizarre, and sometimes sad time in my life. fly on conchords. fly on.

Monday, June 8, 2009

feng shui experiment

so i learned something from my feng shui experiment last week. i identified all of the areas that need help in my house according to my list that i kept for the week.
apparantly i need help with EVERYTHING. but mostly skills & knowledge, career, helpful people & travel, and health. that only leaves prosperity, fame & reputation, relationships & love, creativity & children, and family that are left needing help after that. *sigh*


i saw the hangover last night and a couple of things popped into my mind.

1. bradley cooper.

2. zack galafinakis. still f-ing hilarious! i've been quoting his lines from that movie nonstop and i miss his show from the late 90's.

3. i want to write a girls version of this.

coffee in an IV please.

how is it that i'm more tired after two days off than i was on friday? sheeeeeeeesh.
'tis monday. i'm almost glad to be at work today (who'da thunk?).
my etsy shop isn't open yet because i couldn't load any of my pics to the shop (bummer!). but now that i have a brand new computer and internet access coming on tuesday, i should be able to get SOMETHING up there.
i've sold one necklace (to my boss) and i've got two on display at the shop in town. that's pretty cool! they've been up for three days and haven't sold but i'm trying to work on my unfortunate impatience.
i have a goal of selling at least 2-3 necklaces every month to recover the cost of startup. i hope i can swing that!!!
okay, so i haven't anything of merit to report other than that.
oh! i am going to go see etta james & al green in atlanta this week. i'm very much looking forward to that!

Thursday, June 4, 2009

for crying out loud.

what the hell is wrong with me lately? i find out that i'm going to be spending time with an aforementioned challenging person (6-8 hours worth of time) and my heartbeat is racing, my blood pressure is skyrocketing, i want to cry and vomit. all signs point to incapable of coping.

what to do what to do what to do what to do?

six-eight hours isn't that long in the scheme of things but i am dreading it so much i don't know what to do with myself. i literally am wringing my hands and trying not to scream.

i want to run away and never come back.

now, PMS can usually explain some of how i feel right now. 1. everyone that speaks to me is annoying the shit out of me. 2. i want to punch a hole in the wall and 3. chain-smoke on my balcony.

i am overwhelmed in several ways right now. regular hormonal shit but there are some major issues surfacing.

it is a really big deal that i cannot be around this person without having a major anxiety attack. it affects facets of my life that are exceptionally hard to deal with if i screw it up as badly as i would if i said what i felt to this person and/or bailed. that was a long and rambly sentence.

i need patience and peace so very badly. i also need someone to wrap their arms around me so that i may cry and let me feel safe for a minute.

...i enjoy being a girl...

thor, god of thursdays

i am yet again the most organized/disorganized person in the world. i left my key for work at home. i had to sit outside until by boss showed up this morning. how pitiful! i felt like a little kid accidentally locked out of the house after school.

i digress.

today i have austin, texas on my mind. why? partly because i've always wanted to go there. and partly because anthropologie just did their best catalog ever there. my fave place in nashville, hatch show print, printed the catalog in their signature old rock poster style (see the awesome food on sticks poster above) and the entire shoot was done in austin. love. love. love.

here are the three things i'm obsessed with after reading the catalog over and over.

1. how much i want to go to this town.

2. this bag.

3. this top.

adios for now.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009


there is this theory discussed in certain circles that an expectation is a premeditated resentment/disappointment. i'm not sure i completely follow this concept but this is where i am at this week.

i find i am harbouring major resentment toward several people in my life. i've been trying to examine what it is about these aforementioned people or what they do have me so prickly.

so far what i have uncovered is that my expectations are on myself in one situation (to be able to handle what the other person is constantly throwing at me); and my expectations of the others seem to be tied up in this notion that they should be loving me, treating me, and speaking to me the way i constantly strive to love, treat, and speak to them.

not that i am perfect and never say the wrong thing (it's my calling card most of the time), but these biting comments and shoot-downs feel as if they've gotten out of hand lately.

i don't expect much coming to resolution in regard to the first example but, i don't know if it is unreasonable to expect ones' friends and loved ones to treat you as such. is it their baggage? do i really deserve this negative reinforcement afterall? am i too sensitive?

alas, 'tis wednesday and life is peachy on all other fronts.



Tuesday, June 2, 2009

tuesday guas

i have this fascinating ability to be not only the most organized person in the world but simultaneously the most disorganized as well. my house looks awesome, i'm checking things off of the to-do list, yet i'm a day late with rent because i realized THIS MORNING i have no more checks. argh.
oil well, as my dad would say. on with the show. 'tis tuesday, i'm feeling good, looking cute, got a bit of the ole spring in my step. yes sirs and ma'ams!
i am working on this feng shui experiment in which i write down all of the things i want (technically i'm supposed to write down all of my complaints but it seemed too much of a downer so i'm writing all of the things i want to learn, do, accomplish etc.). it doesn't matter if you repeat yourself just keep writing them.
i'm doing it for five minutes every day. at the end of the week i'm going to examine the list and figure out which guas of my house i should cure first.
for example, if i bitch about work a lot, wanting a house, wanting to travel and learn other languages etc. therefore, first and foremost, i would work on my career gua (while checking the fame & reputation section because they affect each other).
then i would focus on prosperity and skills & knowledge so that i may be wise with my money and have enough savings to buy a house.
next i would work on helpful people and travel (possibly connecting prosperity, career, and skills and knowledge) so that i may learn new languages and travel the world perhaps as a career. get it?
well, it is rather complicated but i've seen too many results to back down now.
martes felizes (happy tuesdays? that made me laugh)!

Monday, June 1, 2009

r.i.p. my favourite maggie.

i have been lamenting the loss of pretty much one of my top 3 magazines ever. as of the end of february 2009, domino magazine was no more. it has gone down the same path as previous faves such as budget living magazine (the coolest pre-domino stylish, witty mag), and jane magazine. i have read every single issue (and have saved and cataloged almost every single one) of domino since its inception three years ago.

r.i.p. old friend. you will be sorely missed!

big day

you know sometimes one reaches a moment when it's scary to step over the line of "normal" or "cool" and keep doing what you're doing. i've danced with that moment today.
at first, it would make me bitter that no one reads this but me. or that people just aren't that inot it (lulu's pangaea is an acquired taste, i'm sure). it has become a sort of diary i guess. so, i'm kind of happy no one does follow it.
i will always be my biggest fan and that's okay. i like that about me.
another weekend has passed too quickly. yet another awkward conversation with senor mas has as well. i do however, feel that it was the most painful and therefore most successful conversation yet.
today marks one year since i realized i needed to make a solid change to my life. and although cigarettes are the most devilish temptation in my life still...a lot, indeed, has changed.
i'm still a mess with a matching set of emotional baggage. but, i have my own place now. i've sought to better myself and have succeeded in many ways. i'm being creative every day. i'm slowly but surely stitching up all the rips in the fibers of my being.
it feels really good. i really like being me. i love my life.
happy monday!