Friday, July 31, 2009

ya gotta love the girl for tryin'

well, today is a new day. what with my hormones surging (and another misunderstanding of mine which always makes things more complicated), and the fact that i'm growing wary of julys in general, tomorrow begins self-improvement august! not that i'm not living within each day. i am really working on that instead of living in the future or the past (somebody went to her meeting on monday!) i'm just excited to make some changes! i've narrowed down the list of things i'm going to work on this august from 7 to a more attainable 2-4 items.

i have a relatively blurry vision in my mind of where i want to be in my life. it isn't anything glamourous. just a vision and a feeling. i think the selection of characteristics i want to work on this upcoming month will assist me in becoming a better person. breaking some bad habits and perhaps bringing to fruition a stepping stone that will lead me to a clearer vision of what is in my head.
i'm open, i'm game (a little timid about major changes) but i'm trying to accept that if i don't change, then my life won't change.

tomorrow i will give more details, but today, the reader's digest version of what i will be working on in august:

1. money

2. vocabulary

3. the fifth "gua"/life
alright readerfriends,
adieu for now, more cheery upbeat stuff will be coming soon i swear!

Thursday, July 30, 2009


She looked up at the ceiling fan and followed the blades until she was overwhelmed with nausea.
"Does questioning your sanity prove that you aren't crazy?" She asked aloud to the goldfish in the tank across the room. She was deprived of her answer and her eyes made their way back to the fan. In four and half hours she would be on her way back to work and somewhat distracted once again.

written by: lindsey anders carpenter

a little step

thank goodness for a perfectly timed phone call to a friend. being the eternal optimist that i am, i still find myself (when in a funky bad day pattern) struggling not to complain every 2 seconds.
even when one downloads and rereads several times, the list of ways to deal with difficult people, and yet, your blood pressure still soars and you want to cry and know that you have to deal with it because you are a grown up now and no one will take care of it for you; and this makes you so mad and sad that you just want to run away...
it's really nice to hear a friendly voice on the other end of the phone, that just wants to catch up for 10 minutes or so. that tells you that everything is possible. even if everyone else in the world tells you, you believe it because it came from a source that knows you and believes in you even if its in the smallest ways. a source that doesn't see your every day struggles like others do. they just see you.
thank goodness for that.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009


today i miss autumn. as much as i love a summer rainstorm, which i am delighted to report is occurring right now, i long for autumn. i long for a city that changes colours for the season. i long to be happy and bundled up in a sweater, walking seven through a pumpkin patch. idealized? maybe. possible? i hope so.
i have to figure out this next step because i'm chomping at the bit. i'm not restless per se, but i'm ready and rarin'.
i want to smell spices in the air and feel a chill on my skin. go to bonfires and see piles of raked leaves. i want to live more simply and eat good food. i want to laugh more than i do. i don't know if that's asking too much. i laugh all the time. and i know a new city won't change everything in my life that i feel needs changing. i'm aware that one cannot run away from things.
i just...yearn for autumn today.

my wednesday funny ladies

1. the redhead from the b52's. *the fact that she had a bit part on flight of the conchords had me giddy with glee. albeit she is techinically not a funny woman. but she's in the b52's! the b52's always make me smile!
2. zooey deschenal. *just cool. i like that she's uniquely her and that somehow that's marketable. she's so deadpan that she makes a great straight-woman for more slapstick comedians. plus, who doesn't love "Feck you!" from Almost Famous? i laugh at that every single time i watch it.
3. bonnie hunt. *i used to watch her short-lived tv show back in the day. i bought only you because of how funny she is in it. michael cera obviously watched a lot of her growing up because her dry, mumbly, snappy wit and delivery is flawless and always makes me laugh.
4. melissa mcarthy. * i forget how funny she can be sometimes. her bit where she is screaming at norman mailer because he won't order anything but iced tea is one of my favourites on the gilmore girls. "woah, somebody likes to use the BIG WORDS!!".
5. ellen. *i was a big fan of the original tv show and since i don't have cable, i haven't watched much of the daytime show but the bits i've caught were really funny. in a magazine she said that fig is her favourite smell and she wears fig scented perfume but when she doesn't have any around she sticks a fig newton in her bra. that tickles me to no end.

get some giggles this morning.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

a little bit too much info for you today

if the world were made of chocolate, guess what? you'd be dead. that's right, ladies & gentlemen, please welcome back for her regularly scheduled blitzkrieg, PMS.

unique breed of women

i have friends that have very specific styles. very specific likes/dislikes. i would like to think that everyone is like that but sometimes you look at a group of friends and they all look the same. i like that we're all different.
A1 is tall, lithe, with a penchant for neutral colours and clean lines. never caught in heels and tends to stick to simple and sophisticated earrings; she frequently accessorizes with a big, statement bracelet, bitchin' bag, and a 1000-watt smile.
A2 is built. born with a natural athleticism that boggles my mind. she keeps casual most of the time but when she dresses up (which is rather frequently so we can give good cocktails a home) it's all plunging necklines and chandelier earrings. the dichotomy is pleasing.
I is a mom of 2 youngins under the age of 7. she dresses for optimum comfort and moveability. she's very liv tyler in the sense that she keeps it simple with long, straight hair; and even with a 1 year old, always manages to wear some badass earrings or jeans that make her 30 feet long legs look even longer. she does most of this, by the way, on a fashion budget that i would end up with one pair of pantyhose on. it's a gift of hers.
J1 is always in wedge heels, chunky, borderline flashy but always fashionable jewelry. and taking a cue from the fun girls of the 80's, she always has the best jeans on and a perfectly disheveled pixie shag hairdo.
J2 has a figure to kill for. she plays it up with fun and quirky dresses that accentuate everything that a lady could ask for. plus, she does great hair, so of course her hair always looks superb. she can pull off everything from a denim zip-up jumpsuit to a ruffly blue/white polka-dot dress.
k is my decandantly tall and witty pal. she has the benefit of having been a swimmer and now, years later, still has swimmer's shoulders that little ole hunchbacks like me would love to fill out a shirt with. she's more rock n' roll (she would say emo) and no one looks better in chucks and a black tank top than she. when she dresses up, she rocks the kitten heels, which i always notice and get a little inner thrill from.
M is my hip kindred. though decidedly more in-tune with trends than i, she wears her buddy holly glasses just like i do. she's always being creative and always has on some piece that makes everyone go "oooooh! i want one!". every outfit is art.
then there's me.
i take pride in the fact that i dress like a 4 year old would dress herself. colours, patterns, mama's heels, and every piece of jewelry i own. some of the outfits i have put together, but reconsidered could go in a museum of "why not to take hallucinagens".
i love anything ethnic-inspired, ikat, peacock colours, band t-shirts, sky-high heels, expensive sandals (that i track every time i wear to make sure i'm getting my money's worth), black, nearly always topped with a chapeau. leaopard print is a neutral.
the point of this being that each one of my hot fe-mal-ee friends are uniquely so. though we may differ in political opinions, music affinities, choice of cocktails, and passions, we love each other very much and are each our own unique breed of woman.
and yes, i put my list in alphabetical order, don't judge.

Monday, July 27, 2009

oi with the wallet already.

of course, when i plan on making a commitment to getting my finances as lovely as possible, i find a plethora of goodies that i want want want. damn psychoses. i'm trying to ignore the fact that the shoes are on sale for $238. on sale for $238!!!!! they're not even fryes!!!!
this is another one of those outfits that, in my mind, i would look totally natural and fabulous in. in reality, i just finished off the tub of half baked ice cream and haven't done crunches in....i won't say how long. oh! and i'm not 20 years old.

lighthearted lunes

yesterday i hobbited myself away for my "dark" day. which, as it turns out, was not very dark like i thought it would be. well, except for the dark amount of money i don't actually possess that i spent brainlessly. i was mostly just in a haze and fuzzy-minded.

for about two hours yesterday, i sat in a dark bathroom in the tub soaking and scrubbing and watching house bunny on my laptop on netflix instant watch.

now i cannot say i gleaned anything from this film other than the following gems.

1. colin hanks is much more adorable now than he was in orange county. thank goodness because i feel confident in the notion that i will have more colin-y moments in my cinematic future to look forward to.

2. anna faris can be funny, but is more so when she plays with the unexpected and less with the literal potty humour.

3. katherine mcphee (the american idol girl, i think), is very pretty in my opinion and did a very good job in her smaller role as a prego sorority girl. lowkey and amusing.

4. i kind of really like/sorta dislike kat dennings. sometimes she's so awesome with the way she delivers lines! but, sometimes she can grate on my nerves with her angstiness.

contrasting examples: in charlie bartlett and nick & norah she's a little grating but is very much redeemed in the end and equalized by her costars; in house bunny she is grating but never redeemed. that's mostly script, i reckon.

adieu for now,


lunes sidenote

how does one begin to change the placement of one's job from the center of your life to a part of your life in its respecful compartment? i really need to learn how to do this because after 2 1/2 years of this job being my life, i am (not surprisingly) unfulfilled and desperately clinging to positive thoughts to get me through this monday.
any ideas on how i could shift focus better or more easily?
the first thing that comes to my mind is becoming more apt in my crafts, therefore more creative; and gaining more meaning from that.


so i set my alarm to get up early and go swimming before it got hot out (and before work). i slept an hour and half past that. guess i needed it.
i hope that's not a sign of how my august self-improvement will go. if it is, then it's a good thing that i have five days of prep and practice to get myself back in the swing of going to bed early and waking up early.
i was doing that in may and i always felt so much better. somewhere down the line i started going to bed about two hours later than usual and that makes for a very pleasant and reubenesque lulu, lemme tell ya.
anyway, it's monday. i'm in a good place. i'm on the cusp of the thrill of self-improvement. i'm not exactly motivated but i'm inspired and that's an excellent first step.
on to conquer the day!

Sunday, July 26, 2009


a year ago today, at this time, i lost my beloved grandmother rather tragically. actually, i lost both of my grandmothers last year. both of these women i adored. they both loved me very much and always encouraged me to be the absolute best i can be.

whether that "best" be a lady, a good christian, a dean's list student, or a generous and kind woman; as long as i was happy and being a good person. sounds like some tall orders, right?

i can't say that my reputation is remotely near what they would have wanted for me. i have always been eccentric, loud, and a little wild. but, because of them i also know how to empathize, love strongly, and smile through every pain- plow through it, work hard, and keep going. progress is success.

it has been an unbelievably difficult year to get through. not only the losses but the stress of the economy, and the other-worldy realizations of ageing amongst other things.

so, in honour of them, plus my great-grandmother who is nearly 91, and my mama (who will be celebrating her 50th this fall), i am mulling over a pretty intense self-improving august. i plan on working on about seven (duh) categories in my life that i want to work on in the immediate future:

money, time for myself/girlie stuff, being more organized, living a bit simpler, soul food (not actual food per se, but things good for me and my soul), some craftiness, and a fitness project.

i have a little over five days to prepare for this and some of this will take some prep.

now, this does mean that i will be modifying the format of my blog for the month. there will still be at least 2 posts a day but one will be devoted to the progress of this series of goals.

this is going to be very challenging (and some of it a little revealing and embarrassing!), but i think very rewarding as well!!!

i hope the girls are watching and that they dig it.
love to all this sunday,

now i know how guys felt when the olsen twins turned 18

okay, so it's been a few days and the best i could come up with this morning is a tribute/rant. now that he's legal i feel it's okay to mention that i think rupert grint is such a little cutie pie. it is remarkable what disgusted remarks i get in regard to timidly mentioning this to people as harry potter conversations are everywhere right now. "eeew! you like a ginger!?!?! i have never found a ginger attractive!" but yes, i love redheaded women and i think rupert grint is just cute. now that he's a big boy, he's all muscles and has the requisite tousled hairstyle of a proper bloke.

i'm also rather impressed with the comedians that daniel radcliffe and rupert grint emerged into in the new film. very endearing. but i digress.

tribute being done, it's time for my rant. i've always been a little disconcerted by the way children actors are marketed. in the u.s. we have miley, ugh. we also still have a decent continuous sale of teen beat, tiger beat, etc. one thing you can count on even in a recession, are female teenage hormones.

anyway, as i was searching for an image or two for my rupert grint shout-out, i noticed how many images of young stars are out there and are a tad bit cheeky in a subtly sexualized manner. it was a little like the days of shirtless leif garrett posters. it made me feel a tad grody.
the one that got me the most was a promotional pic of ron weasely with a broken wand. it sounds ridiculous when i type it. but there he is with a sad little ill-performing wand and an expression like "i haven't learned to use this thing yet, sorry girls". he was like 12 in the picture too.
i'm conflicted by the feeling that i am a dirty cougar for even mentioning that i think he's cute, though he's now legal; because i've seen him in movies since he was ten. it's like saying your friend's baby brother is cute. cue the chills of disturbance.

so here is my conflicted homage to rupert. happy sunday y'all.

Friday, July 24, 2009

nothing new

want to guess what i found yesterday online that has been gnawing at my inner financier for a couple dozen hours?
yep. damn free people clothing and frye boots. so predictable. if i actually purchased everything that i've wanted from them (and nanette lapore) i would have spent several hundred dollars, if not pushing a couple thousand.
so, as i down some much needed coffee. enjoy today's pair of goodies that feed the materialistic badger in my mind.

p.s. i'm not quite sure how i feel about the boots today. but i like the idea of them. such is life.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

today's highlights

1. laughing on the couch with senor mas and dad while watching bloopers from emmet otter's jug-band christmas (it's a muppet version of gift of the magi and totally one of my childhood faves).
2. cherry streusel.
3. canopy roads cafe.
4. knowing that i am loved. whether demonstrated subtly or grandly. it's nice to know. and that knowledge that is very much needed.
5. having dad make his fave new drink, tennessee tea. sweet tea vodka with lemonade.
6. sushi with senor mas and the fam.
7. my fabulously comfy bed that i am zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..........................

dream a little dream for me

i had weird dreams last night. some highlights:
1. president obama when he was campaigning doing stints at music festivals around the u.s. he was very young and dresing to be "casual" for all of us dirty festi-goers. there was an exciting energy knowing in my dream that he would one day be the president.
2. chris farley still alive but on his last day. he knows and we're not supposed to. he gives up his comedy gig at bonnaroo and tells senor mas to take his place.
3. little gay preteen at a dry conservative political conference (which is supposed to be the gig that chris farley gave up) sitting a seat away from me stretching.
"straaaaaaaaaaaatch" he would say from his chair. then, during the prayer-yes, prayer, senor mas walks out from backstage shirtless and oiled down and heads for the seat next to me. little preteen guy issues a squeal of delight, then i woke up.
wonder what it all means...

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

on with it

my pal, you know who you is, gave me a locket a while back with my mantra engraved in it, "someday is right now". i battle every day with getting caught in the tumult of the every day. my default setting is to look to the hollow magnificence of the future and assume i'll have time and money to do all the things i want or need to do then.
alas, i get overwhelmed and days, weeks, months go by and though i am making progress; my heart and my gut tell me that the pace needs to quicken.
senor mas said i have more choice than i tell myself i do. and dammit, he is right.
thank you to my friends for the blunt, loving truth.
now, on to the lists!

things i want in a new city of residence:
1. mildish summers.
2. a place with history (i.e. interesting architecture and it's own culture).
3. college or university nearby (i.e. youth nearby, music, art, museums etc).
4. a city that's in-tune with healthier lifestyles. sure, i can be healthy anywhere but it's markedly more difficult for me in a city that's main hobbies are political lobbying and pub crawls.

things i want/don't want in a new occupation:
1. customer service. i love people and i enjoy talking with them and helping them with things. but after 11 years, i've been talked down to and ignored waaaaaay too many times. perhaps i'd like to do something in which i talk to people but i don't necessarily have to please them.
2. i want to do something i am proud of. i want to feel like i'm contributing to something other than excess. even if i stayed in retail and i'd want to sell things that people love and cherish. not just shit they buy because they have money and nothing else to do.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

five songs that i love right now, if not all the time.

1. sweet thing by van morrison
2. skinny love by bon iver
3. i'm an animal by neko case
4. rain today by nina simone
5. why? by andrew bird

listen to them and love them too. damn, i'm bossy!


although no one is in the store buying things right now, i'm happy because we have a ton of new things coming in that are giving some much needed visual candy to the store. when you're here all day every day, it can look stale if no new merch comes in, y'know!

anyway, we get candles from this awesome southern company called low country luxe. they have candles with scents like spanish moss, savannah, new orleans, seagrass, charleston, gullah, high cotton etc. they are fabulous. lord have mercy, they are fabulous.

on to the point...they have come out with a trio of new candles wrapped in linen and named beau, belle, and sugah. again, decadent and fabulous.

i seriously have an addiction to everything this company makes.

elsewares continued

alright, so since i mentioned this morning, and i've already started getting my christmas shopping list together, i've decided to show some of the cute things i've found on there that i either really like but have no one to buy them for or i really like but refuse to buy for myself due to budget restraints. laters!

to the right is a card of a mennorah composed of a map of brooklyn subway routes.
to the left, a groovy bag. i love the shape. there's a similar one on etsy that i also have favourited.
adieu for now,

guten tag

yaaaawn. good morning darlings. 'tis tuesday once again. i'm feeling a tad better than yesterday. actually, i am feeling a lot better than yesterday but fear a few dumb questions into the day and i may have a reocurrance of aforementioned grumpiness.
i digress.
yesterday one of my mcbloggin homeskillets (hey you, you know who you are) turned me onto the website it's a catalog for vendors, kind of like etsy, but more succinct. i really like it and recognize some etsy folk moonlighting over there. i'm really proud of our generation for making the art of mercantilism a personal experience again.

Monday, July 20, 2009

daughter of post script.

ever have one of those days where every other word out of your mouth that seems even remotely capable of describing your aggravation is f**k? i'm trying not to let this day turn into that. well, at least not stay that way.
i don't want to ask "what else can go wrong" because today is the day that if it could happen, it will. no me gusta!
perhaps i should just go to a meeting tonight. i haven't gone to one this july. i've been tired every monday night, and i don't like the wednesday meetings. too cardboard.
perhaps i should write in my new journal made from a repro of a joe cocker record. i found it rife with meaning.
perhaps "a little help from my friends" is indeed in order. friends friends, family friends, meeting friends, puppy friends. now i need a therapist friend to make the list complete. hardeeharhar.
can you tell i missed writing yesterday? three posts in two hours is a bit overkill, eh? oh well. it's my blog, i can post if i want to. post if i want to. post if i want to.
adieu for now,
p.s. keep that positive energy flowin' to me, people, i need it something fierce!

gilda gigglies

as i have mentioned in previous posts, i love old snl from the 70's. what a window into another world! the stuff they got away with blows my mind sometimes. it makes contemporary snl look like elementary school. there was a lot of smartass going on with absolutely no apologies. everything is so pc these days, it takes away some of the taboo and wreckless fun of the originals. though, i have to admit, i know what they were trying to do, but i'm still stricken with discomfort with the heavy-handedness of the racial stereotypes (which, i assume, is the point). the shows are timeless but at the same time soooooooo indicative of a different time.
anyway, i was watching season one last night and one of my favourite gals, gilda radner, was doing the editorial reply on weekend update with chevy chase. those skits were always some of my faves because she would misunderstood a key word of the subject she was to reply about. i relate too much.
in this particular segment, gilda goes off on cancer research which she misinterpreted as canker research. this makes me giggle just recanting it.
"my cousin mildred used to get those on the inside of her lip. it made it hell to eat grapefruit!" she says as she slams her fist on the desk. "you don't need any money to research that! stop eating grapefruit! it's a simple as that!" another slam on the desk. as in each of these skits, inevitably, chevy leans over and corrects the word she misunderstood. and she concludes with "oooohhhh!.....never mind."
here's to ya, gilda, for making me laugh for all these years!

welcome back, jane.

after one month of being up in the air as to whether or not jane honda and i would be reunited, having to stay on the backs of an insurance company and a collision repair shop; plus toolin' around in a rental car with my newfound paranoia about being hit by someone, it has (please dear lord, i hope) come to a close.
i fought for three hours and drove nearly 50 miles all over tallahassee this morning to close this ugly chapter. jane honda is alive and well (with a lifetime guarantee on all parts and work done on her), and back in the loving arms of her mama. i missed that ole girl.
now that the crisis has passed (please dear lord, i hope), it is on to regular life. i.e. full interior cleaning & shampooing, new brakes, and new tires.
i think i may just be okay with that.
'til later,

Saturday, July 18, 2009

thinky thought

one of these days i'm going to truly learn that i don't have to please everyone and, in fact, i simply cannot do so. that is a very challenging thing to come to grips with when you have worked in customer service as long as i have. it bleeds into every aspect of your life. you find yourself wondering what is wrong with you that keeps people from being pleased by your behaviour or words etc.
in reality, some people are just miserable assholes and will never be happy no matter how many smiles or how far you go out of your way for them.
i am admitting that i know these things, i just don't know how to apply them to life just yet.
and scene.

mix tapes & rotary phones

'tis saturday. i'm at work. it's lovely rainy weather and i cannot wait to go home and have a lulu night with a stinky little pup (who will be getting a bath).
i'm feeling a tad nostalgic today. i think it's because i watched a jonny lang video from 1997 on youtube this morning and it has me thinking about the 90's.
it's so odd. i get really nostalgic for the 90's sometimes. something about the matte lipstick and chunky high heels and suddenly i'm singing ani difranco, the pixies*, and natalie merchant songs; and episodes of pete & pete and boston common start running through my has me yearning for the days when i lit my black light candles and ate sugar cookies in bed while i wrote bad poetry.
because my life was simpler, upon reflection it seems the whole of the 90's were simpler. to a degree that is true. it feels like now we have too much information at our fingertips. we are jaded. things are too accessible which, i feel makes truer connections with people and life in general, more challenging.
you can see a revolt in pop culture craving a return to record players, rotary phones, and images of cassettes on everything. i too, miss the days when we didn't everything at our fingertips. when we didn't have cell phones. i like using pay phones! i like the deliberateness of having change in your pocket and saddling up to the phone to call someone. it made communication something you worked for every day. talking to a person meant something. now it feels like we are headless digi voices coming from somewhere out there that we can simply stalk on google world.
i liked playing cassettes. i miss mix tapes. mix cd's are fine, but mix tapes felt more crafted because you know someone sat there waiting for the radio deejay to take the request for that song you didn't have a single for and then hitting record. you learned how to be your own mixmaster editing those damn things; creating and writing the playlist on the label was an artform in and of itself.
these are the things my mind is playing with today. perhaps i will rent empire records tonight and take this nostalgia to the next level...
adieu for now,

* i am well aware the pixies are not solely a 90's band per se but that's when i fell in love with them.

Friday, July 17, 2009

free connection and french people

here's my nearly every other day update on clothing covetousness. as always free people has an outfit that basically looks like what i think i look like in my head (swap the blonde hair for brunette and add 10 pounds).

and i love this french connection jacket. it's on sale for $113. i think it's supercute, and i may try to save up and get it for the theoretical cooler months of october-december. it also comes in black but i have sooooooooo much black in my wardrobe it's practically a throwback to the glory days of mid-90's goth.
adieu for now,

Thursday, July 16, 2009


sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit. do you ever wish you could go back in time and keep your mouth shut?! i'm going to re-rent somewhere in time and after several more viewings, travel back to two years ago...and shut up. then travel to a year ago and...shut up. then i'll travel back to several months ago and...shut up. then i'll go back to tonight...and shut up.
on that note, i'm going to go shut up and go to bed.

word, jerry.

i need to bitch about something ridiculous for a second (like it's so different from any other day but, bear with me).
what is up with the warped security words we're supposed to type in to leave comments and things? what is a regicat per se? how does typing diablo nugeter make my account more secure? how safe can i be if porridge oggifot is my defense?
am i seinfelding this or do they seem kind of weird to anyone else?

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

oh for the love of! lists.

so, i'm still trying to piece together where i what i'd like to be doing and where i'd like to live.
so far on the characteristics of my future city of residence list:
1. mildish summers.
2. a place with history (i.e. interesting architecture and it's own culture).
3. college or university nearby (i.e. youth nearby, music, art, museums etc).

so far on my list of things i want/don't want in a new occupation:
1. customer service. i love people and i enjoy talking with them and helping them with things. but after 11 years, i've been talked down to and ignored waaaaaay too many times. perhaps i'd like to do something in which i talk to people but i don't necessarily have to please them.
*sigh* that would be so damn lovely there aren't words in existence to describe it yet.

the lists continue...

search engine rant no. 2

there is this company, whose name escapes me, that makes supercool garden gnomes. not the cheesy kind but anthropologie-type cool ones. they're about 2 1/2 feet tall and come in a myriad of pretty colours. i wanted to send a pal of mine a picture of this coolness because, like me, she kind of digs gnomes.
i'm not sure if it stems from watching hours of david the gnome when i was a kid; or the fact that i would simply love a pet fox that would be my pal and go on adventures with me (i even thought about naming seven Swift), but i totally like gnomes and faeries. not in an "i also love lisafrank and unicorns and collect figurines and shit" kind of way. i just like to think they really are out there living in trees.
it's a childlike enjoyment. whatever. i can't justify it or make it sound cooler than it is. so, on to the rant.
i went to search for the images of these, and dear lord, the crap that came up instead. what is some of this shit? it's frightening. especially since there is an entire niche market devoted to naked gnomes and defecating gnomes.
warning: if you do not want to see either one of those or think you may be offended by the sight of them, then do not scroll down.
for the rest of you perverts, a sampling of the insanity that comes from searching the interwebs for garden gnomes. the second pic is my favourite of (nearly) all time. schlissweitz (i have no idea how to actually spell that but those of you who also watched david the gnome, you get it). enjoy!

Tuesday, July 14, 2009


isn't it funny, the kinds of things you find yourself needing when you go through all the things in your house in an attempt to catalog them (mentally) and purge the unnecessary?
why do i have 14,000 hand towels but only 1 1/2 sheet sets? why the half? hell if i know.
why do i have 75 butter knives but no mop?
probably the same reason i have 3 dozen coffee cups but can't find my blender.
ah, the domestic life for me!!
adieu for now,

not necessarily interesting things that i love today

1. laughing really hard and loud, even if it's during a movie. yeah, sometimes, i am that person.

2. a sweet little pup waiting at home for me. it hits me hard sometimes, that i always have that awesome little dude to come home to every day. i'm a sucker for that baby. i love him a lot.

3. the she & him vol. 1 album. i'm listening to it on repeat (obviously) and it makes me happy. it reminds me of when senor mas and i took our first road trip together to atlanta and savannah. fun memories.

4. the amazing turkey meatloaf and veggie beanie weenies i made last night. words cannot quite describe the fantasm that was (and continues to be- thank you leftovers) this meal. one guess as to what i'm having for dinner tonight...

5. this awesome shirt from urban outfitters that is on sale and i've been lusting over for two weeks.
loves to all!

cool ethan

i have a weird affinity for jason schwartzman. he seems like such a dick. but he's hilarious and dammit, he is a good songwriter/performer.

i'm listening to she & him and he co-wrote "sweet darlin'" with zooey deschanel. it's so catchy and simple. a nice throwback to early beatles.

anyway, i was watching shop girl the other night and jason schwartzman was once again, entertaining and charming in his "i want to hold his hand but also want to punch him in the face" kind of way. he has a way of just throwing great lines out like there is a never-ending supply of them at his disposal.

our generations' movie leading men are different than previous generations, it seems. they are uniquely sexy in their intelligence. vulger and vulnerable. capable of evolving if need be. lovable/loathable, creative guys. i can dig it.

see also michael cera, seth rogan, jason segel.

i don't know the french word for tuesday.

'tis tuesday, bastille day, and i want french coffee, french pastries; and well, i can't say that i want a french man, but maybe i can talk senor mas into wearing a little beret and pencil moustache for me today.
sounds tres bon, no?
other than celebrating the aniversaire des revolucion des france (faux french strikes again!) by going to work, i am bidding you all, do not rent the man in the iron mask. i don't care if you think leo dicaprio is still the bee's knees after all these years. it's awful. and this particular holiday always reminds me of that.
maybe rent paris je t'aime instead?
adieu mon petites cheries.

Monday, July 13, 2009

que hora es?

what it is, folks? i'm day-offin' it. piddling around town and running a million errands. since i have been a lady of leisure for approximately 48 whole hours and am a fan of psychological compartmentilization, i took the time to browse my fave organizing/decorating sites for some fun things to appease that same desire for compartmentalizing my apartment. i am psychologically aparmentilizing.

soooooooooooo anyway, part 2 of objects des covetes (did i pluralize my faux french properly?)

the locker clock. it's actually not called that, but that's what it flippin' is! this keen little stroke of genius goes wherever you may need a functioning clock but when you open it up... la storage.

i want one.

i want to cubby away flashlights and keys and whatever else my little heart fancies whilst being able to be aware of the time.

happy monday guys.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

etsy ocd budget sidenote

come to find out, there was no $1.00 conspiracy on etsy to repost all five of my items. duh. i am SOOOOO painfully analog. and after an hour of editing those five items, i was satisfied with them and added another. the pics look good. one of them has two blurry images no matter what i do, but i'm trying to practice acceptance and not let my perfectionism/OCD get the better of me. things look good. can't wait to add more.
happy sunday!
p.s. if anyone wants to bring me orange cinnamon rolls, go right ahead. i'm not wearing a bikini anytime soon.

kevin skinner vs. the world

i don't have cable and i want to keep it that way. the only thing not 1970's about my apartment is that i have a computer. but it stows away nicely and doesn't scream "technical age" across my myriad of antiques and tchotckes.
anyway, as i went online to check my email, i found this clip on hulu. this good ole boy is being teased by nick cannon, and all three judges as just some redneck country boy on america's got talent (just call it star search for crying out loud).
he used to catch chickens, he's not "all that good at math" he says. the audience and judges eat it up. he is an unemployed farmer and he tells everyone he is to sing a song by garth brooks. everyone snickers. this guy is a genius. i can't tell if he knows what he's doing or not. does he have them eating out of his hand, is it a plan? or is he really just so unassuming, and down to earth?
anyway, this boys opens his mouth to sing and all i can say is get him off of this show and into nashville to make real country music again and not that pop country bullshit. don't play on his being on this show, don't take him to vegas, get him away from the l.a. pirhanas and just bring the boy to tennessee. sit him down with a guitar and let him go.
here's to ya, kevin skinner. here's hoping!
adieu for now,

Saturday, July 11, 2009

wild & crazy hermit

thank goodness i'm in a decent mood today. no near fits of anger or tears. yesterday was so weird. it hit me out of nowhere and about 2 hours (and two new necklaces) into the evening i was just fine and dandy, albeit tired.
i cannot wait to go home tonight and post (and repost) my stuff to etsy. maybe by the end of the night, i could have at least seven things up there. i'm so geekily looking forward to it, i cannot even tell you.
alright, so happy crazy saturdays to all y'all too!

little bite o' childhood

i had several favourite books when i was comin' up. harold and the purple crayon being my all time fave. where the wild things are, another fave (though it frightened me a little), and caps for sale and stone soup being two others.

so, many months ago, when i first saw the preview for the spike jonze directed movie adaptation of where the wild things are, i got chills. i get emotional every time i watch it.

in fact, i'm thinking of getting seven a little crown and sceptor and he will be max for halloween.

ironic typos

frickin' frackin' expletive after expletive!!!! i'm a perfectionist about some things. my etsy store now being one of them. i'm watching money so carefully that i haven't budgeted in the extra $1.00 it would cost me to go back and redo entirely each of the five things up in my etsy store right now. i'm actually fighting with myself about this dollar too. how ridiculous is that? it's budget versus OCD. argh.
i posted an awesome typewriting tutorial book from the 50's today and realized upon posting it (even after proofreading) that there is a sentence typo (unfinished thought) and it's driving me nuts knowing that its there.
god help me in my ocd and my budget.

Friday, July 10, 2009

psychological treat

i have spent the past two hours at work trying not to cry. what is my problem? it almost feels hormonal but there is absolutely no reason for hormones to be a-surgin' right now. therefore, one must deduce that it's psychological.
if descartes had had a similar imbalance such as myself, he may have said: i bitch & cry, therefore i am.
happy friday!

wet, hot, american global warming. i mean summer.

as i have mentioned in previous posts, i want to move away from tallahassee. where do i want to go you ask? hell if i know. but, i'm determined to find the right place for me. and let me tell you one thing on the list of things i DON'T want in my new city...muggy, hot florida summers.
i'm good until the mercury climbs past 90. then i'm miserable. ten minutes outside and i need to ice the back of my neck to keep from passing out. it has occurred to me that i am a wuss, by the way.
i've lived without A/C before! it was not this kind of hot. and i know global warming is real because i was just out in it and now i feel like i need a nap.
so, the list begins:

1. mildish summers are a must.
2... stay tuned


now that's what i call rant 1,000!

i remember when the "now that's what i call music" mixes first started coming out. it doesn't seem like it's been that long ago. late 90's maybe.

at first they'd be coming out like maybe once every 6-8 months or so. right? the last one i really remember seeing an ad for was #8.

i just saw an ad for "now that's what i call music 31".

now that's probably the average age of the people that remember the first of these new-fangled versions of pop music mix tapes.

now that's what i call music 31???? really? that means in ten years they've put out 3.1 mixes? is that really necessary? there isn't even enough decent pop music out there to fill 2 CD's let alone 31 mixes.

bah! i feel old right now.

go eat a rainbow.

i've been working on whittling my vices down for a while now. no smokeys no drinkies, obviously. using very little salt etc.

also, i've been trying to eat more fresh fruits & veggies instead of packaged stuff. i have a bad habit of resigning to quick-fixes instead of making food for myself. i'm even rather slothful in making dinner for myself.

the joy of having a place to myself is that i can eat a dinner consisting of bell peppers and kiwis if i want to.

i digress.

one way i've been trying to "trick" myself into eating more fruits and veggies (6-9 servings is really hard to achieve actually) is to "eat a rainbow" everyday. it's kind of like a game.

eat several reds, oranges, yellows, greens, blues/purples a day.

it's kind of fun, to tell you the truth.

last night i made dinner for a dear friend and though we consumed far better fare that what i make for myself usually, we had 5 different fruits/veggies! one red, one orange, one yellow, and two greens. although, corn isn't really that nutritional, i'm still going to count it.

total recession sidenote: the little bits of cereal left at the bottom of the bag make a really good crunchy topping for baked chicken. y'know, if you're tryin' to be creative with your cookin' and money during this economic teacup ride. just sayin'.

alright, geek time over for now.
go eat a rainbow

Thursday, July 9, 2009


warning: do not read this if you get emotional or squeamish about cemeteries, graves, or the dearly departed.
i am so disturbed by this story. i've always been a little oddly fascinated by the cemeteries, gravestones etc. they seem like peaceful, pretty places and outside of funerals, i've still spent a little more time than i'd like to acknowledge, in cemeteries.
i've also been a tad intrigued by the concept of graverobbers. people who would exhume bodies and steal their jewelry, clothes, silver and gold fillings etc.
it takes a certain type of creepy to do that kind of thing. do they apologize to the deceased as they do it? do they think about that, though the soul is no longer there (in my opinion anyway), that it traditionally is deemed disrespectful to unearth and proceed to desecrate someone's symbolic eternal resting place like that?
i wonder if they realize how much it hurts the family more than anything. the people are dead but their family rely on cemeteries for comfort, even if it's just in the back of their mind, that their loved ones are still cared for somehow, somewhere nearby.
anyway, this story is just beyond odd to me.

free people and moccasins.

damn those at free people for making clothes that i don't have money to buy, but desperately want to buy and cloak myself in and run around singing "I feel pretty, oh so pretty!".

damn pretty dress on sale for $69.
damn awesome winter coat on sale for $99. prepare for segway in 3,2,1...
damn moccasin trend. i used to wear real moccasins (my mama may or may not have had a hippie phase).
i have 5 different patterns for making moccasins. hell, i actually used to make moccasins!
i want to wear moccasins again because they are so damn comfy. but i hate trendy stuff, i refuse to acknowledge that i love native american footwear until the trend has subsided and i can wear them again without fear of the being haunted by the latest or coolest blah blah blahs.
i think that is the most the word moccasins has been used in a blog. ever.

big heart

i posted my fave necklace to my etsy store today. the pictures i took make my two previous posts (done in a hurry so that i may check off one of my "goals") look like shit in comparison.

oh well, i'll redo them. the fact of the matter is i've got three necklaces on the store!! i'm proud of myself dammit.

and i'm on day 2 of "determined to feel attractive and not like the underside of a work boot". so far so good.
speaking of tallies, i'm on day 24 of no smokeys no drinkies. stupendous! i'm at the head of the "we love lulu" parade today. anything i can do to not be in a funk is fair game right now. even if i have to learn how to twirl a baton to retain my position at the head of the parade.
adieu for now!

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

from one addiction to the next

there's a new crack on the streets these days. disguised as overpriced yuppie snacks, the emerald cocoa almonds are the most delicious and justifiable addiction around. they are simply roasted almonds covered in dark chocolate cocoa powder. that's it. wait til they go on "buy one get one" sale at the grocery store and snatch them up.

can't say much more, too busy nomming.

nom nom nom nom nom nom nom. dooooood. nom nom nom nom nom nom.


i have loved this artist for months. i found her store, ArtMind on etsy. she's from belgium and she has done a series of sculptures about feelings. here are some of my favourites. some are funny, some are risque, most are cheeky. they make me giggle and i'm saving up for the "feeling sexy" ones at the end. check it out sometime!
the names of the pieces are as follows: strong, sleepy, torn, regret, and feeling sexy

i've made my mind up and counted to ten.

i'm determined to feel awesome today. that's right, i don't care if my problem is psychological, chemical, environmental, emotional yadda yadda yadda. i need to have a good day. and dammit! i'm gonna!

i've got seven at work with me and i already feel a bit better knowing i'll get to see that sweet lil face all day.

i'm also determined to feel pretty today. i wore the jeans that make my bootie look fabulous, i'm wearing my favourite jewelry and step back! i put on a full face o' makeup. don't worry, i don't look like tammy faye bakker or anything. i just don't look like a zombie.

alright, folks. wish me luck!!!

adieu for now,


Tuesday, July 7, 2009

domino & colonel mustard

so, as i've mentioned before, i love domino magazine and am still grieving it's demise. two weeks ago senor mas and i spent probably two hours in the bookstore hanging out and taking turns annoying patrons and being annoyed by them. i found the domino design book that they came out with last year (of which i have been coveting for months now). it's like a gigantic issue of the magazine and i have to tell you, it's rife with awesome ideas.

so much so that in my really sh*tty mood yesterday, i decided to redo my house (i know! some semblance of control in an uncontrollable world is the theory behind that particular madness). senor mas called while i was in the middle of trying to scoot (literally) a two-hundred year old (and probably two hundred pound) pie safe from my living room into my bedroom.

now, i wish i could say this was a spur of the moment idea. i had been plotting an eventual makeover since i got that book in my hands. i even drew a floorplan to my house and cut out little squares that were cut-to-scale measurements of my furniture. i moved them around for days like i was playing a board game. "colonel mustard on the settee with accent lamp!!!" i would yell.

alas, today there is no place to sit at the kitchen table. there is laundry in the hallway and i covered the two piles of miscellaney with scraps of fabric i had stored away. the bedroom looks really cool, and the living room has side tables made out of stacks of books. far so good!!!

Monday, July 6, 2009


for a while now, i've been toying with the idea of getting a buddy for seven to play with. maybe a pup; i've even thought about getting him a goldfish.

silly, i know, but until i can work from home, it keeps breaking my heart that he's alone at the house even if it's just for a few hours at a time. i calculated that every 2.5 hours basically equals one day to him (if a year is equivalent to seven years for a dog). so, it'd be cool to have someone he could hang out with or wrastle with or just commiserate with during the day while i'm at work.

seven is the best pup a mama could ask for. he plays with his toys, never chews up anything of mine. he lets me know when he needs to go outside, he snuggles but he's also independent, he's not too yappy, he's funny, and he likes to smile for pictures and sing.

but he does get afraid when he's alone and i have three neighboring apartments full of noisy so-and-so's that frighten him. so, perhaps a pal would be good for him.

i've recently been considering getting a bunny. i've never liked rabbits per se, but i saw one on that ran around in circles like seven does, and it brought me joy.

well, today on ICHCB there was another painfully cute picture of a bunny (see below) that made think once again that seven would look precious with a bunny buddy. i could name it Five like in Watership Down (that kind of makes me sad, so maybe not).

would seven and a bunny be pals? or would this bunny idea basically just be an expensive and bloody experiment in seven's "ratting" heritage? yikes!
p.s. "ratting" don't have nuthin' to do with hairdo's lemme tell ya.
adieu for now,