Saturday, February 27, 2010

in transit

moving day. i am moving stuff. i am exhausted. i am 3/4 of the way done. there is so much stuff that has no particular place to be contained...ish kabibble. a big thanks to all my friends that came through to assist me, i couldn't be this far along without your awesomeness! wish us luck with the rest of it, kiddos.
adieu for now,

today's pic: on my nasty floor ready for a nap and it's not even 2:30 in the afternoon. whew!

Friday, February 26, 2010

organized chaos

hey there kids, it's so friday and i'm so glad. the plague is making an attempt to get me again and i'm adamently refusing it's advances. work is going by incredibly slowly due to a tedious task, but it's all good; and i am currently sitting at the dining table at the shack looking at empty walls and stacks upon piles upon mountains of stuff scattered every which way. tomorrow is the big day and i still haven't been able to procure mass assistance for the bulk of the stuff. i've got a couple of generous helpers scheduled but they can't be here at the same time or this or that and i am trying super hard not to stress (because then the plague will win if i do and like i said I REFUSE!).

i am thrilled to be moving into my new place, but i will be more-so thrilled when all this dust settles and i can make my little nest again. if you have any twigs and feathers bring 'em on over; and while you're at it, bring some guys with trucks that'll work for pizza and beer to my house on saturday. pretty please!

adieu for now,
*today's pics: the simultaneously empty and full funky little shack.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

chin up

i think i have only been moving stuff around the shack from one location to another and rearranging piles. ack! i feel like nothing substantial is getting accomplished. i'm not stressin' per se but i am feeling a bit cluttered and that always jacks up my psyche.

well, one more day of paying work and two and half more of non-paying work 'til the move is done. i am hangin' in and listening to great music helps push me along through it. here's some for you to enjoy too.

gypsy snails

woah nelly, it is a bit frigid here this morning and as per usual, i'm loving it. i had a great night last night packing away and sitting in front of my fireplace (which i can only use maybe once more before i move). i have certainly been spoiled by having a fireplace this winter.

yesterday i procured my storage unit and for the next three days i will be filling it with my life's accumulations. tonight, you guessed it, i will be packing and making trips to the storage unit in little ole jane honda. i learned last evening just how little i can fit in jane and just how little i can carry by myself. oi.

i'm getting to that weird place in packing where i have started putting away dishes and silverware, glasses and coffee cups etc. you know, the basic stuff that you use daily. it's kind of hilarious too that i seriously sit and think about which casserole dishes i will take (the turquoise ones) and which i will pack (the other four i have); which coffee cups i will want to use for the next 6 months (the greek ones) and which ones i will stow away (the other 25 coffee cups i own).

as annoying as moving can be, i have always kind of liked it. blame it on the gypsy blood my dad says i have. i love having a home but i love to move that home around, like a snail or a turtle, and i'm about that slow today too. heh.

if i didn't have to go to work today i would be holed up all day with a fire in the fireplace, great music on pandora and a roll of packing tape in hand. the stacks of boxes are getting so tall and precarious that it's getting hard to move around the shack. it's wild. i'm going to miss this little corner of the universe, but i am really looking forward to what is next.

oh! on an update note: my gal pal has finally squared away all the necessary things for her big move to new york. the call came in yesterday that she got the job she wanted so, in seventeen days she will be leaving this little city for the bigg'un. congratulations, friend!

i reckon that is all for now, john prine is singing to me and i gotsta get my hair did before work.

adieu for now,

*today's pic: more morning sunlight behind my apartment. it's so specific to this place. i will miss seeing that every day.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

the time traveler's coffee talk

g'mornin'. do you ever wish you could time travel? i don't mean like go back and change something but go back and just relive certain times and places and people. i surely do. of course i have the sort of imagination that makes exceptionally vivid dreams about such things. it's funny because when i am making a memory so potent i know i will never forget it; i tend to have a second in there where i soak in everything i can. just to solidify the memory so i may go back to it later. i had one of those days sunday. i am in a small chapter of those memories right now, actually. where i know in a matter of time everything will be different and i am making a point to appreciate every minute of it that i have.
i know i am also entering into a new chapter. i am about to (hopefully) enjoy the free-spiritedness of my new dwelling and roommate (with whom i see many a laughter-filled evening with). spring is around the corner and with that brings the requisite lime green pollen that is beginning to coat everything in town. it feels appropriate that i am beginning a new chapter as the new season approaches. but, it doesn't mean i won't think back to this winter and all the wonderful memories made therein and yes, yes i will think about traveling back to recapture some of them again. how i could i not?
ah, is beautiful. much love to you friends!
*today's pic: you see that little wayward hair? i get that from my father's father. it personally drives me a little nuts and i'm so bad with photoshop that i left it in but there it is. genetics at work.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

6 days...

'sup kids? 'tis tuesday and i am in a fabulous mood, and i'm almost feeling 100% human again. thank goodness. i'm also in warp speed trying to get details figured out for the move this weekend. the end of february kind of snuck up on me, to tell you the truth. losing a week to the plague didn't help with that. so, today i'm focusing on boxing up the stuff i don't need to take with me to the new place (tchotchkes anyone?), finding a storage unit, and securing some assistance for relocating the heavy stuff friday night through sunday night. after that the shack is no longer mine, and it must be left clean and spackled. wow. let the countdown begin.

today it is beautiful outside (i mean gorgeous!) and i am kept busy at work, which is fine with me. tonight will be the first regularly held family dinner this month. my birthday threw us off one week and the plague did the second week. it'll be nice to get back to our normal rhythms. whatever a normal rhythm in my world means. heh.

more later, friends. i hope your day is calm and lovely!
*today's pic: boxing up a myriad of tchotchkes.

Monday, February 22, 2010

good afternoon, kiddos. 'tis monday and i am looking forward to getting home tonight, eating some good food, and planning the move to my new abode. i crammed a whole lot of weekend into one day and now my mind is ready for some peace. peace and organization. ish. the shack is looking rough since the plague last week. i think i may have to put on some music and putter around for a few hours tonight. nights like that are divine, aren't they? i haven't had a good evening like that in a while. think i may even wash the stink off of a certain little pup, that's how motivated i am...well, motivated is a strong word. that's how, um, idealistic i am. heh.

on all other fronts, life is good. i am super excited about the new place, and all that spring will have to offer. it hasn't been a challenging winter, by any means. in fact, it has been an awesome winter. the cold weather has been so incredibly good for me in general; but i am starting to feel the buzz of spring around me. pretty soon the baby geese will be hatching at the pond near my apartment, the days will start getting longer and the sleeves will start getting shorter. life keeps happening. it keeps moving forward. right on.

adieu for now, gotta head back to work.

*today's pic: playing with the funhouse mirror that is hanging above my fireplace.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

sideways grinnin' bootie shaker

g'mornin' friends. it's sunday. sunday funday in case you were wondering and i am in a great mood. the weather is exceptional here in tally this weekend and it makes you want to grab a blanket and head to the park (which is on the list of possibilities for today).
last night i went out to one of my favourite places, the bradfordville blues club. it's a wonderful little juke joint way out in the woods that's been there since the 40's or 50's. it was a part of the chitlin circuit (a touring circuit in the deep south for blues, and r&b acts) back in the day but has been a staple for blues-loving fans in tally for as long as i can remember. loud blues, spanish moss, fried fish, and a bonfire. there's something so entirely good for the soul about sitting on a tailgate looking up at the stars and hearing music float through the trees over to you. it nourishes the same thing inside of me that gospel church does. it makes me walk around with a big smile on my face.
after the way last week went, it was awesome to get out on the dancefloor and shake ma bootie. i do so enjoy the bootie-shakin'. it felt good to be alive and surrounded by positive people and some fun music.
today i am hoping to relax and laugh and prepare myself for the long week ahead. i'm not stressing, i'm not worrying, i've done all the grieving for my friends that is healthy in advance and am focusing on enjoying myself while they are here. this city will indeed have gaps when they leave but it's still the same city and i have a fabulous assortment of characters who will be at my side to make sure this little mama keeps that sideways grin on her face.
adieu for now...go outside and play, people!!!
*today's pic: sunday funday hike day hour one.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

it's a choice, man.

i was about to write the pissiest complainy post because of a minor annoyance, but this is what's up instead.

it is a beautiful saturday afternoon.

i do not have the plague anymore.

i have an adorable pup sniffing around on the balcony, keeping tabs on nature for me.

i am done with work for the day.

i have a day off tomorrow.

my hair looks pretty cute.

i am not wrongly accused of any crimes.

while we're at it, i am not accused of any crimes in general that i know of.

i am not under any religious persecution.

i was not shipwrecked for days on end.

i am not britney spears.

i am not paula abdul.

i have use and control over most, if not all of my faculties.

i got two loads of laundry done last night.

i have clothes that fit (they may be falling apart but they fit).

i have a really loud, awesome laugh and i use it regularly.

i have the ability to choose happiness.

rad, right?

adieu for now,


Friday, February 19, 2010

me and stuart smalley kickin' it at the shack.

happy friday friends! to those of you starting your weekends (and who aren't on antibiotics and can enjoy a cold beer...i'm jealous) be prepared for some of the loveliest weather tallyhooha has seen in a while. for me, i will be working. and i'm not too bitter about it because having been home in a state somewhere betwixt joaquin phoenix on letterman last year and your basic run-of-the-mill zombie, i'm rather glad to be back there. sale days can be really stressful, but they can also be a lot of fun. which today was.

there's one thing that's a little iffy and that's my antibiotics. the label says in all caps CAUSES DIZZINESS AND HEADACHES. they ain't kiddin'. i've been a weeble wobble all day (well, for two days but i didn't notice the warning until today, ha!). it's like i float in and out of totally coherant and having had too much cough medicine, but my body is drunk. what a fabulous combination, right? it'd be fun if i weren't trying to do a good job at work. if i were at a festival or something i'd be making a killing selling these little bastard pills.

i'm stoked about the new living situation and am getting things squared away with that, which feels really good. the emotional stuff is still there, but all day long i just felt like i was too pathetic for my own good and honestly, i have no patience with that with anyone else, therefore i got really tired of hearing myself be upset and had to close the lid on it. sure, i am sad. really sad. but everyone else involved has things to look forward to, they don't want or need to hear about what they are leaving behind. in the end, i just kind of felt like an idiot fo expressing any of it (which i know i'm not, i am completely entitled to feel how i do) but that's how i roll. blame it on the stern country stock i came from, or blame it on the rain (yeah, yeah) but i don't have the time to be so vulnerable and sad. no one is going to take care of me but me. it's a weird realization sometimes, lemme tell ya.

well, that's me tonight. time to go do laundry. later friends, party hearty for the ole lu!

sip, sip aahhhhhhhhhh.

good morning friends. yes, i am alive. yes, i am coherent. no, i am not the silly little sad sack i was yesterday. i am about to have my first cup of coffee in a week. i am moving slower than molasses in january and (of course) i'm already running late for work.

i had a wild night's sleep filled with dreams about well, about a million different things including colouring my friend's and his daughter's hair blue with kool-aid.

i am in a better place today...well, i'd say more of a different place. i'm craving order which is amusing because i've been so slack at the shack for over a month that it's funny i should want it now that i have to move and disassemble everything.

the living situation is basically figured out and now i want to go over to the new room du jour, get the measurements and figure out how much furniture i can take and how much i will have to store. thus determining how much money a month i will be spending on storage. ish. can't believe i'm about to do the whole storage unit thing again. no worries though. i'm happy to have secured a new situation thanks to the courtesy of a dearheart friend.

well, kids. i wish i had more to say this morning. i'm still inching along as if i could stay in bed all day and well, let's face it...this week, that's been done to death.

adieu for now (wish me luck at work, because i'm not all there today and it's a sale day!),


*today's pic: nectar of the gods close at hand. plus you do NOT want to see the bags under these eyes this morning. did i foret to mention that i got those for my 28th birthday? mmmm, lovely!

Thursday, February 18, 2010

the teary optimists

because sometimes it feels like the shit has hit the fan before its time; and sometimes you simply cannot depend on anyone else but yourself to remind you that you are, in fact, okay. realizing that startling fact (amongst other things) should be okay too.

...a weirdo haiku from your friendly neighbourhood lu...

i am not failing,
falling, crawling, clawing, no.
i'm doing my best.

adieu for now, kiddos. no worries, i'm actually doing alright, just wanted to share this.
p.s. the teary optimists sounded like a great band name, as did the dreary optimists. heh. good night!

in a matter of weeks

guess who's eating solid food again?! this little skeleton, that's who! it's the little victories, man. hello, friends. 'tis thursday and i am not 100% but i'm cruising at a welcome 58-60%. i've been laid up in bed since sunday night and on antibiotics (which i'm sure i've mentioned but i'll say again that i detest) for three days. i'm enjoying intermittent bouts of energy followed by "thank goodness the bed is near" crashes. i'm really hoping to be back at work tomorrow for i have used almost every bit of annual leave i had accumulated to fund this fabulous failure of my immune system.

yesterday was the beginning of lent. i gave something up but i'm too superstitious to talk about it for fear of jinxies. i'm in a good place although my head is still super duper fuzzy, but i have to admit that i'm doing a typical "lu" thing as of late. i have a tendency to look ahead and start bracing myself for stuff i know is coming. well, in a matter of weeks three big things are happening. first, my best friend is moving away. my go-to, my weekly dinner pal, my gal. i have been through every nook and cranny of this plan with her. every fear, every success, every stress and here it is. my girl is leaving. normally when i'd be this sad she'd be the one to take me to fermentation lounge and have a drink with me while we talk about boys and books, and goals and music. i am going to miss her being in this town with me. and i have been grieving quite a bit in anticipation.

second, a new friend in my life who i have enjoyed immensely, have created a special and cool bond with and have shared some really awesome times with is leaving within a few days of my best girl. talk about a double-whammy. if one was leaving i could at least get a hug from the other you know? but both! ish. now this is on a totally different level than my girl leaving but it is still intense and bittersweet. it's not every day you find special connections with people.

this is how it tends to happen in my life though. things tend to get swiped away all at once and it is overwhelming. the many times it has happened before forces me to have to figure out how to adapt and how to live without. tough nuggets, but there it is. it all happens for a reason. i would love to know what that reason is though because i'm tired of building character, i'd like to just build happiness.

third, i'm moving out of the shack. it's breaking my heart. every day i walk through the house and think, "i'm not going to have another spring in this house" or "i'm not going to have another random wednesday that my girl will stop over with wine and some crazy dish she'd made and we'll spend the whole night talking about life and laughing in this house". i know i'm sentimental. but this was my first place to myself. my first place where i didn't have to depend on anyone but myself. i made some pretty substantial changes to my life here and made myself and seven a home here.

and though i know that i will be okay in a matter of weeks and that i will have a place to stay. it still feels like in that little matter of weeks i'm going to have three limbs ripped off. it's all happening at once and i am completely grieving the losses already.

i have wonderful people in my life that will step in and let me weep and snot all over them (like i am doing as i write this) after all these changes occur. i am so grateful for those people that do truly know how sad i will be then. but, i cannot help but mourn that soon i won't hear my best friend's laugh across our favourite watering hole whenever i want, or get to take long walks in the cold with my other friend every weekend; or sit at my table in my dining room and look around my first home dappled in the late morning light while i sob and write a blog.

this is what happens when i'm left to my own devices people. this is how my big, fat heart works.
i'll be fine and i do know everything will be cool. i am just sad and sentimental and needed to vent.
adieu for now, i've once again exhausted myself.
*today's pic: late morning light.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

why should i be so afraid of zombies when i am one?

good afternoon people. i would like to thank theraflu for knocking me out for about 11 hours last night. i woke up this morning/early afternoon after the weirdest dreams about a haunted house with moaning windows and a 1950's prefab that looked like a combo of a B52's video and Pee-Wee's Playhouse amongst many other things. i'm still loopy as heck but i think that knockout sleep helped push me over toward the land of the living.
i've had a lot of time to sit and think about things. well, things other than "i feel like i'm dying". so here's a list (of course!).

1. i HAVE to get rid of all the accumulated recycling at my house. my parents even took two bags (i think out of absolute disgust as to how my apartment looked since being holed up in plague mode for three and half days). i don't know where i'm going to take it but it has to get out of here, it's clogging my psyche.
2. once i have energy again, i am going to start packing away the things i can live without for the time being. books, tchotchkes etc. while doing that start yard sale bins because homeskillet needs to sell some stuff. especially after an overpriced and ineffectual visit to the doctor yesterday.
3. find a reasonably sized and priced storage unit to hold my many belongings since wherever i live i will have to get a storage unit. problem is, i'll need climate control and that ups the price.
4. i have to pull a scrounge effort for quarters because my whole house is bubonic and i'm flinching, and twitching 'til i can get it all washed. i've found 5, now i only need about 55 more. wish me luck.
5. all this planning and my energy has already petered out. wowsa. going to sign off for the time being and get some more rest.
adieu for now,

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

behold, sleeping beauty.

day three of the nasty funk. i've learned that this is not just a sinus infection but it surely is a bitch; and i'm tired of it. i've been watching/sleeping through old marilyn monroe movies and saturday night live season 3 since i got back from the doctor this morning. my friends and family are being awesome and checking up on me. it's hard for me to ask for help sometimes but i let the ole wall down partly because i'm so damn pathetic it's my parents brought me all kinds of goodies and a smoothie. another friend has come by with movies and to take seven for walks. it means so much, guys. thank you. i know i'm stubbourn but i really appreciate all the help. i will be hopefully doing a bit better tomorrow (and be a little less caustic perhaps?).
adieu for now friends, healing energies and prayers are welcome. mwah!
*today's pic: the ravishing creature of the covers.

Monday, February 15, 2010

anything worth doing...

alright, i know it's been a few days but it's been a rather emotional weekend. i don't feel like going into details but basically something terribly sad happened to a good friend of mine and it brought me sorrow and brought back a lot of stuff that i hadn't dealt with in a while. therefore i spent the most part of saturday being overwhelmed and worried. yay!
after a surprise visit from a dapper gentlman (who brought me tulips for my birthday!!!) i spent some time with another friend (who helped keep me from pacing the floor) on saturday evening and woke up feeling like i had been hit by a the biggest, meanest semi-truck. normally i would chalk this up to having too much fun, but it turns out it is a sinus infection. a doozie if i do say so myself. i really know how to feel like crap, i should teach a class on it. ha!
that aside, i still had a lovely valentine's day. made dinner for a friend and have a ginormous and delicious cheesecake in my fridge that i cannot wait to eat...when i'm well (which of course feels like never at the moment).
today i have been in bed. i kid you not, i've taken about 4 baths watched several movies (actually slept through several movies) and haven't been able to eat a thing. i'm attempting optimism but really i want someone to hold my throbbing noggin and send your donations to the shrew's apartment, second floor, bedroom, bedside table. thank you!
adieu for now,

pics from top: today because i'm pitiful and that was all i could muster. valentine's day sunset. saturday gypsy lady tells your fortune from a red light on thomasville road.

Friday, February 12, 2010

updates & rambles

how do mis amigos? me? i'm swell. eleven more hours of work for the week before i commit to fun and relaxation. i must say, i have birthdayed quite well this year; and though i haven't gotten to see all the people i have wanted to (because i am selfish and want to hang out with every person i can), i have gotten to spend some major quality time with a trove of lovely friends.

today has laid before me wintry rain and i want to be wearing my jammies and looking out the window of the shack all day. alas...

here are some updates that i realized i hadn't given to mi bloggyfriends lately.

1. i haven't done more than an iota of yoga since i made my resolution six weeks ago. that is on my list post-birthday week.

2. the bed gets made. maybe not every day but i have definitely been putting forth the effort, so thus far, that silly resolution has been maintained.

3. meditation has temporarily gone by the wayside due to a hectic schedule. i am not worried about picking that back up though because in a matter of weeks i will have nothing but time to focus on it.

4. spontaneous fulfillment of desire by deepak chopra is a dry, dry read and though the root of the subject is interesting, i have resigned to putting that book down for the second time. i wanted it to spontaneously fulfill my desire to be completed but apparantly it just doesn't work like that. ish. so now i am one book shy of my two books a month thing. but, as i mentioned, pretty soon i will have more than enough time to catch up. i just have to keep reminding myself not to buy new books. someone needs a new library card.

5. i am still in need of a new place to live as of the end of this month and have one place that i'm really interested in (going to check it out on monday). i hope it works out but i know the right situation will come forth if it's supposed to. *sigh* i do actually know that right?

i don't know if i have mentioned anything else over the past few weeks that needs to be updated. i ramble so very often. speaking of rambling, i am filled with this unusual combination of nerves, peace, energy, and lamaise. i keep dreaming of floods. last night was an amusing but odd dream and a little frightening too. the whole city was under several feet of water as if it were new orleans post-katrina. there was devestation, looting, houses raided and cars buried in eerily clear waters. what's even more odd is that it was not a bad dream. there were no dead, it was just super intense and i was on some kind of an adventure. i felt that odd combination of feelings i mentioned a moment ago and it has followed me throughout my waking life today. wowsa.

that is where i am today. a lunchables of moods. how delightful. heh.

adieu for now,

*today's pic: rain on the palms.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

just stuff basically...

it is a balmy 43 degrees here in tallavegas today. everyone seems to be over the cold snaps but i love it. i had a most delightful fire in the ole fireplace last night and i'ma making another one tonight. i nearly made one this morning actually, when i burned my breakfast. ish kabibble. the shack smells like incinerated soy products...yum.

yesterday seven somehow managed to pop the "s" key off of my keyboard and i am having quite the time getting it back on there. in the meantime, my keyboard looks like a first grader missing a front tooth. heh.

i am doing well today. feeling a little more relaxed about things even though i dreamed about apartment hunting this morning and it was not only frustrating but a little depressing. the bathrooms in the dream studio apartments were filthy. ha! wonder what that is supposed to signify.

anyway, i'm feeling super lowkey tonight, a little thinky but in a decent mood nonetheless. i'm a little sad about leaving the shack, my first ever home by myself. i'm hoping that a situation that has manifested itself will come to fruition and that i will be able to get all the things done that i need to in time. i don't like stressing so much. blech.

the plan for today? work a few more hours, come home, make some tasty dinner, pop in a dvd and clean the shack a bit more. the more organized i am at home, the less overwhelmed i am in other facets of my life. i reckon that's probably true for everyone.

i sure wish i had some hilarious anecdotes to share with you guys today but i'm plum out. still recovering from having a boatload of fun the past few days.

oh, but 28 is awesome thus far and i am excited to see fabulous things happening for important people in my life as well as for little ole me.

i reckon i ought to get to eatin' my lunch and get back to work. pout. i miss my long, involved and remotely interesting posts. must remedy that soon.

here's to you today friends!

adieu for now,


*today's pic: my collection of day of the dead figurines, because the pic i took several days ago mysteriously disappeared from my camera. the newest one is the lady in the sequined gown with the microphone. wonder why i picked that one. hmmm.

*yesterday's pic: i really like my new blue hat. and yes, my ceiling fan really is that filthy.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

the day after

1. i had a wonderful birthday. i got my first bday wish via text at 12:03 in the morning and by 5:30 i was getting a new message every few minutes. it was so lovely. sometimes i feel like people consider to be me a ridiculous person and don't take me very seriously but i was truly moved by so many people taking a few seconds out of their day to send me a message. i was kind of emotional all day in fact. it's moments like that when i remember how little it takes for one person to affect the other in a positive way. whenever i feel like sending an email and i don't because i'm just too lazy...i have to remember how good it felt to have people tell me they care. it probably felt 100 times bigger to me than it did to them to simply make the gesture. noted, folks. hope you noted that too.
2. not only did i get a neato jacket, a new piece of art, and a handbag but...drumroll please...i got bathtub crayons, two sets of dominoes, an elvis costello record, and some smell-good (coco madamoiselle)! oh and a ring that belonged to my grandma that is very pretty. i really miss that ole broad.
3. i have gotten a lot of enjoyable visits in with my friends and loved ones. it's good for the soul to get a good visit in with the people you really dig (and who actually dig you too). i've got a few more visits lined up this week too, actually just because we couldn't cram in all the proper visitin' time in the days i was off.
4. i got a new step-cousin yesterday. on a snowy tuesday in nashville, just like when i was born. his name is eli and was born one month early.
5. i haven't found one batch of tulips to get for myself yet. it's a thing i do every year since i was probably 15, but the crop this year has been rather pitiful. it's a bummer but, i will keep a-lookin. i am a sucker for those lovely flowers.
6. after all of this celebrating, i am looking forward to some quiet time at home (and maybe even some groceries)...i think i'll get to some of that next week some time. heh.
7. i am so happy to be where i am today. to be in a fine mood, to be having a decent hair day, to have a stinky little pup who loves me, to have wonderful parents and fabulous friends. i am so happy and it's taken a lot to get here.


Monday, February 8, 2010

slap a bow on the top o' that.

a couple of things.
1. go saints!!! i'm so happy for my n'awlins! i was a hollering fool last night with friends watching the game and yelling WHO DAT! about every five minutes. i was thisclose to driving to n'awlins yesterday morning i was so excited they were in the bowl. but, thankfully spending the day with friends and beer was a much wiser choice and a whole lot of fun.
2. i'm having camera issues so, though pictures have been taken to document each day, i cannot post them as of yet. stay tuned. *finally, 2 days later pics from sunday and monday now posted...well, obviously.

today i am itchin' to do something fun for my birthday but a) don't know what i want to do b) i'm so tired that i'm tempted to stay in bed and listen to the strange boys on pandora all day. i will not, however, because i'm determined to get into some birthday shenanigans. i don't know why i'm so delighted by my birthday. people make fun of me for it because i get so excited and bounce around and giggle alot. i buy tulips and day of the dead figurines and putter around all day doing fun things. it's just a special me kind of day. and though i'm a little bummed that there are no parties or big group hang-outs or anything, i am very much enjoying my time off and thinking a lot about what i hope for at 28. it's a little weird to think about that i am the age my dad was when i was born. woah. i used to think that was old! sheeeesh.
in some ways i guess it is. i'm too old to repeat the mistakes of my early to mid twenties. i'm too old to make excuses. i'm too old to mistreat myself and others. but 28 is a lovely number. a multiple of seven, so i have good energies about it. it doesn't feel daunting or frightening.
i am stoked to be where i am though of course, i thought i would be somewhere totally different by the time i got "this old". heh. i am happy to have seven, the shack, a job, the people in my life that care.
i'm happy to have the family i have though i miss the ones that no longer are here with me so very much. i am grateful for every dumbass thing i've done because it has lead me to a place of acceptance (for the most part...i still have a tendency to beat the tar out of myself sometimes as you well know). i am grateful for every hard time, every tear, every laugh line, every scar, every piece of my heart that has been burned, scraped, ripped, stabbed, choked, and shattered. it is stronger now and capable of more caring and love than i ever thought imaginable. that capacity continues to grow every day and that is a powerful and beautiful thing.
i am proud to be me. i am proud of the life i have made for myself. it indeed may not be what i thought it would be and there are some who think it should be more than it is. but i love it.
i am proud of the people i have welcomed into my life because i have learned so much from each and every one of you.
life is phenomenal. i am so glad to be celebrating another year of it. who knows what adventures, challenges, joy, and changes lay before me but i'm glad i get to show up for this thing. my world is very cool. thank you all for helping to make it so.
love love love.
adieu for now,
*top pic: sunday night post-superbowl and pretending to play jungo. mostly i just picked out all the numbers that had sevens in them.
bottom pic: wallering in bed as the storm clouds rolled in monday night.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

excightening things afoot

hola, 'tis saturday evening and i have kicked off birthday week celebrations by thoroughly enjoying myself today. brunch, fun errands, a movie, and now sitting on my bed resting before heading over to some friends' house for a ginormous cookout.
i have some funny little traditions for my birthday. it's honestly (and perhaps because i'm so narcisstic?) such a special day to me each year. as i get older i find that i have to keep reminding myself that it is and forcing myself not to worry that i'm rapidly aging. ha! but, one thing i do for myself each birthday is pick out a new day of the dead figurine.
last year one was kindly purchased for me because i was a little out of it due to a tragic loss in my family. today though, i walked in and picked out a cool one that i hope will remind me of a goal of mine that i often neglect. there is change in the air i can feel it moving up from my feet and coursing throughout me. it's exciting and a little frightening because i haven't the foggiest what kinds of changes will occur and who they will shape me into. hmmm. so much has changed since one year ago at this time.
well, adieu for now, darlings.

Friday, February 5, 2010


good afternoon friends! 'tis friday and the bottom done fell out of the sky today. rain rain rain. you know what that means? that's right, soup and cheese toast. ha! it wasn't what i expected to come out of my head first either.

little man is rolling on the floor. i've got adele singing a bob dylan cover that is rather lovely. the shack looks awesome. i cleaned for several hours last night before cuddling up into bed with a glass of wine and a ro-co. yes, once in a while i do act like i'm starring in a bette midler movie. i even had a candle lit. heh.

i am counting down the hours until i come home tonight. i am going to be escorting my gal pal to a dinner and i am very much looking forward to some excellent chill time with her and her family friends.

other than that my mind and my schedule are remotely clear. well, other than apartment hunting. there's always something rattling around up there, i reckon.
i hope your day is calm and lovely too friends.

adieu for now, lu
*today's pic: a little Q time with the buddy. what a ray of sunshine on a rainy day.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

there should be a lighthouse in my head.

howdy folks. it's thursday night and me and the little man are going to roll up our sleeves and clean the house. well, seven doesn't have sleeves...or thumbs to aid in the rolling up of said sleeves for that matter. so, i reckon it'll just be me tackling the piles of clothes and dishes.
it's been a good day. thus far uneventful which is great because though my mood is fantastic, i feel like a bit of a space cadet. only one ear at a time seem to be accepting sounds or information; and it feels like my imagination is taking a really long meandering walk. i guess that's a good thing. perhaps i can utilize this headspace. i think i'm going to stop writing now and get to work at the shack. words are not coming to me very easily tonight. that's a first, heh. ish kabibble, i knew i shouldn't have followed that damn pocket-watch totin' rabbit.

adieu for now, darlings.
*today's pic: distracted once again by something pretty.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

500 thoughts in 500 words or less

howdy campers, 'tis wednesday and if i had a nickel for every time i have yawned in the past hour...well, i would have enough moolah to do a couple loads of laundry tonight.
today has been very nice. i've had the joy of having several visitors at the shop today which has put many a smile on this face. today has also been a tad trying, seeing as the apartment i was really excited about and attempting to rent was rented out from under me and i spent my lunch break driving all over town trying to find another place. oi. but as my good friend said, this just means something else will come up because it wasn't meant to be at that other place.
last night was awesome. i took a long walk in the woods with the little man, had family dinner and cocktails with friends. lots of fun on all accounts. mama and b made chicken & dumplings and my friends made me laugh. splendiferous.
tonight i was supposed to go out and have fabulous conversations with two different wonderful friends of mine, but guess who is absolutely exhausted? oh yeah. this old broad.
i'm in the burgeoning stages of OPERATION MOVE and all i want to do is start selling stuff and packing the rest away for the transition. perhaps if i can keep my sorry butt from procrastinating and feeling overwhelmed then perhaps i can actually get some things accomplished tonight.
on a lighter note, i have so much recycling saved up at the shack (because there are no recycling services there) that i am really tempted to get up at the crack of dawn and drive around the neighbourhood behind my apartment and start putting it in people's bins. guerilla recycling at its finest. i kid you not, i think i have ten paper bags filled that are occupying my kitchen and closet out on the balcony. that's a little embarrassing to admit actually.
there you have it, guys. this is my life today. interesting stuff, right? perhaps more to come later...who knows?
adieu for now,
today's pic: one of my little surprise visitors, andrew. adurable!

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

here she comes to save the day...

gooood afternoon friends. it's another fine chilly day here in tally. i find myself motivated if not a bit scattered. i am getting things done somehow and it feels pretty damn decent.
i got a full night's sleep last night filled with vivid but thankfully forgettable dreams; which meant i didn't feel like i had been beaten with a 9-lb. hammer when i woke up like i have been feeling lately.
last night i had a surprise visit by my lady friend which was awesome and gave me the opportunity to listen and laugh, both of which are good for the soul. then when i felt my funk slowly creeping back in, a chat with another pal helped to lure me out into the night air to go get delicious beers and debate the cinematic merit of the films cabin boy, and groundhog's day (and a happy g-day by the way!).
i can't really tell what mood i'm in today. i go from silly to laid back to super-thinky then back again. you know what? i just decided to kick the super-thinky weirdo out of here for the day. i'm tired of that bitch to tell you the truth. i have too much else to deal with and franky my time is just too precious to waste on analyzing, over-analyzing and feeling sorry for myself. screw that. i feel like giggling and chillin' with a big ole beer and some fine music. maybe ogling some pretty people at some point. i do enjoy those things. my mind is made up and i've counted to ten, dammit. optimism will prevail and happiness is a choice!
on a different note, i am befuddled by what to do for my birthday which is officially right around the corner. i always want to have a theme party but no one ever seems too terribly down for it. and i want to c-e-l-e-b-r-a-t-e and really ring it in right. twenty-eight is a big year. twenty-six was so incredibly brutal, and 27 was about growth. i want 28 to be positive changes all around. i feel it stirring in the energies and it has me excited.
i realize recently that though i think i have whooped some of my odd habits and bad ones for that matter; some are still there laying in wait, dormant and anticipating a trigger. i have been beating the snot out of myself for such things over the past few weeks and even this week. which is ridiculous and there is absolutely no reason for it other than i'm a glutton for punishment sometimes.
the time to cease is now. positive changes, baby. that's the game i'm in. my positive changes girl costume will be arriving in the mail thursday; and yes i will a have PCG badge across my chest and my red undies on the outside of my blue tights. no capes though. capes are so passe. but i will be able to leap tall doubts and fears in a single bound...
adieu for now friends. thanks for tuning in. PCG has to go stretch now for the day ain't done.
today's pic: rowr!

Monday, February 1, 2010

want to hear it? here it goes...

because i told you my mind is all over the place and that i needed to write a story (or twelve)...

Dirt Roads
~a very short story by l.a. carpenter

She sat in a truck bouncing along down a dirt road that was flooded in places. The cab was filled with laughter and music and books sliding off of the dashboard as they rambled on, drinking out of cans.

The four o'clock sun pushed through the gaps in the trees. It touched the spread fingertips of the saw palmettos that seemed to be elbowing their way up out of chaotic bushes and defiantly ceasing at the knees of the pines.

The dappled light, the quick-moving clouds, the pines and the palms whizzed by the window of the truck and she knew a very lovely, very bittersweet memory was being formed inside of her.

There have been other dirt roads. There have been barefoot walks with a lover in the summer. Barefoot walks with pockets full of small, rough-edged stones as a child. There have been frost-bitten treks across marshes with large grey cranes huddled under each others' wings. This was another dirt road for her to look fondly upon.

This was a tail-gate and dangling feet. This was swaying to beautiful sad songs and an arm around her shoulders. This was realizing how long it had truly been since she smiled at someone for that long and laughed with her head thrown back.

Later she sat at her table, drinking cheap wine and looking around the house. This house would be empty soon. Pieces of her world would be empty soon as well. Great big pieces. For someone so seemingly full of life, sadness always seemed able to creep in and sit down with her; a drinking buddy of sorts.

The tantalizing simplicity of the day on the dirt road made her long to live it all over again. It made her want to shut down her mind for a minute and just shut up in general. It made her want to smile wide and laugh as a truck cut through water and fanned mud above the windows, jostling her closer to...something. Perhaps toward something simple and pleasant that she could keep with her all the time.


february a-go-go

good day friends. 'tis monday. i skipped a post yesterday (much to the chagrin of the OCD ogre in my mind) and am trying not to let it get to me that i only have 30 posts in january instead of the requisite (sheeesh!) 31. i almost want to delete that previous sentence so my neuroses are kept a secret from some of y'all a bit longer. oh well. if you're going to know me, then you're going to know my weirdies. and boy do i have some weirdies.

i had a beautiful day yesterday. lots of driving and listening to music and laughing. it was so much fun that i'm going to ignore the fact that my overactive mind kicked into warp speed by around 8 o'clock and i didn't get a wink of sleep last night. i am choosing only to recall the fabulous points. and it was, in fact quite fabulous. a day in which you realize you are making a fond memory as it is happening. rad. i love days like that!
i find myself fighting...well, myself lately. one hemisphere of my brain is like a mexican wrestler in one of those awesome masks, and the other hemisphere is like go-go from kill bill. a little petite thing in a school girl's uniform swinging that medieval spikey ball on a chain thing. i'm not sure which side is which, or if she is fighting for me or against me but i'm skerred of that little gal. oh but i digress.

today is the beginning of my favourite month of the year. it's 8 days until i am 28 (ack!). there are 27 days until i move out of the shack, and i have five bags of laundry that have formed a union i believe and were in the process of making picket signs this morning as i rushed out of the house to get to work. regardless, i can't help but be excited that everything is heart-shaped, red & pink, and there are tulips everywhere. it's my most favourite time of year!

today is chilly and i am home on my lunch break whistling at the cardinals chirping away on the balcony. they keep looking around like "where is this brain damaged bird i keep hearing?". ha!

aside from the necessary quiet i must give myself this evening, and the laundry i can no longer put off, i am feeling the urge to sit down at the ole olivetti and do some creative writing. a few ideas for short stories have come to me over the past 24 hours or so and it's been a while since i created a keyhole for others to peer into. tonight, (after i take a ridiculously long and hot bath) i hope to make something out of the scrap metal and mismatched shoes that seem to be occupying my mind.

*sigh* your friendly neighbourhood eccentric is doing alright today. encouraging my optimism to step right up and i surely hope you are doing wonderfully too.

adieu for now,


p.s. a big thanks to all the folks who have started joining me for a dose of nuttiness every day. it means a lot to share my world with y'all.

pics: top: today at the shop. thinky thoughty and yearning for home. middle: the lovely scenery i was surrounded by yesterday.