Thursday, December 31, 2009

adieu '09.

alright, kids. it's the last post of the year. a quick word before i go out (i know i know). this year has been tremendous on many accounts. tremendously challenging and sad, and incredibly positive too. even more so, i think. there have been light-speed changes, and snail's pace evoloutions. i have mended my exceptionally wounded heart one little stitch at a time thanks to the incredible people in my life.
my beautiful family, my unbelievably cool friends. to those that i love and you know who you are, thank you. i couldn't have made it through without you.
to 2010! cheerth!
adieu for now,

transformer thursday

good morning kids! 'tis thursday, new year's eve. today i have a busy schedule (i can still somehow always manage that). i have breakfast with a lady friend this morning, have to go to the grocery store (and stock up since everything will be closed tomorrow; and i always get a weird craving for something when i know i can't get it because the store's closed), have to make a meatloaf as payment for my guitar lesson which is at 2 today. i'm a little nervous about it honestly, which is ridiculous so i won't say anything else about that.

i'm still batting around a couple of ideas for what to do this evening to kick out '09 and ring in '10. there are a few parties and people are gathering at a favourite watering hole of mine. but in all honesty, i would love to be at home with the pup all night. in fact that is what i'm leaning toward the most first thing this morning (though i have been known to change my mind).

spending the evening watching the second season of saturday night live, piddling around the apartment listening to music, practicing guitar, and reflecting on the year that has passed sounds just divine.

i reckon, we shall see, eh?

adieu for now, breakfast calls!


Wednesday, December 30, 2009

what you know?

you may not know about moi...
1. edie brickell is the voice that's inside my head. i know it seems random but it's the truth. she's the voice-over to my "wonder years".
2. i love a good palaver. it doesn't matter whether it's conspiracy theories (which i adore!) or pop culture... a discussion is always welcome.
3. i'm a magpie. sparkles. quality jewelry...not-so-quality costume jewelry. i'm there. it's kind of embarrassing. keep all shiny things away from me or you'll never be able to get me to focus. please do not get this confused with glitter. sparkles and glitter are not the same thing. this ain't 54, people. :-)

that is all...
see you guys in the mornin'.

the kisslock misers

good morning lovelies! 'tis wednesday and i have four posts (three technically because you're reading this one) left for the year crazy is that?! i can't believe how wretchedly slow and time-warp fast this year has gone by. they seem to be doing that consistently now that i'm over 25.
today i am in an unusual head space but i am not sure why. i did have odd dreams. but there is nothing different about that.
i've got the pandora on deer tick radio which befits my mood, and perhaps encourages it. i've got some ideas for how to occupy the precious hours of my vacation that have left. the only problem is that they all involve going to the stores i don't get to go to due to my work schedule. that in and of itself isn't the problem but trying to harangue my spending habits...well, that's another story.
because i know if i go to the vintage shop, then i will find something amazing. for the one vintage shop in this town that is rad beyond belief, always has my size in everything (which is practically impossible). then i will want to cry at the record shop because it's closing and everything's on sale and i want it all. all! which is ridiculous because my record player doesn't even work or have speakers anymore.
ack! what is a girl to do? i could concievably take the buddy to the park and avoid spending situations at all costs...but yeah...i think i'm still going to swing by a few places just to tantalize my aesthetics receptors.
ha! i'm a nut. happy wednesdays folks, and don't worry, little buddy will get to go to the park too.
adieu for now,
*isn't the title of this post a great band name? i think so. later!

Tuesday, December 29, 2009


it has been such a fun day today! i could really get used to this loose schedule, you know? being able to get a random invite from a friend to meet you somewhere and to actually be able to say "of course i'll join you!" without having to worry about this or that.
oh! what fun i have had (and what delicious food i have consumed). i have sufficiently lunched myself, laughed with friends, had cocktails, and listened to records. how lovely.
three things i am grateful for today:
1. beautiful weather. there was nary a cloud in the sky until about 4 pm. wonderful, chilly december weather. perfect for taking meanderin' walks.
2. the gyoza at sakura (restaurant in tally). little delicious dumplins steamed with a miraculous dippy sauce. good gracious! i could eat a million of them and nearly did today.
3. great stories. i am blessed to have truly interesting friends with great stories. it always makes for an enjoyable afternoon to sit around and discuss opera-singing lousianians (louisianites?) and their mothers. ha! guess you had to be there...
off to family dinner, hope your tuesdays have been thoroughly enjoyed as well!

little lulu clockhead & the muddy hippies

good morningish kids! i somehow managed to sleep for ten hours last night and have totally lost my morning. vacation does weird things to me.
i had a lovely mellow day yesterday not leaving the house except for lunch with a sweet friend. i watched movies, read an entire book in like three hours, and listened to music all day. it was some kind of fabulous!
one of the movies i watched was taking woodstock. my dad sent it to me for christmas and let me tell you something...if you love music truly, and if you have ever been to a festival before then this movie will hit a sincerely special nerve.
if not then, simply put ang lee did a tremendous job of making an astoundingly beautiful, funny movie and that alone is easy to appreciate. kudos all around for that little time capsule which has now made it into my collection of uber-repeat watches.
one more thing before i shut the door on yammering about this movie any longer. every actor in it was incredible (most of whom i already had movie star crushes on beforehand). here's a list: demetri martin (comedian), emile hirsch (into the wild), paul dano (gigantic, there will be blood), liev shreiber (i don't have to list anything for you to know who he is), and eugene levy. i know i crush on unusual movie stars but what an ensemble!!
i digress. life is good in my little queendom this morning. i'm playing ball with the baby, and drinking delicious coffee. i have another lunch date and should probably do something practical like clean out jane honda or something. my vacation is going by too quickly but i couldn't be more thrilled that i've taken this time for myself. it feels so good and has me thinking about a lot of things.
hear those gears turnin'?
adieu for now, sweet darlings!

Monday, December 28, 2009

this'll be our year

good morning, friends! 'tis monday and i am officially on break for several days. i slept scandalously late this morning and it was amazing. when i say amazing, i mean...there are no words that exist yet for how good that felt.
i am glad to be done with the holidays. my focus has shifted from that mindset toward the new year, resolutions, hopes, and wishes for myself. i love new year so much. it is probably one of my personal favourite holidays. i delight in making resolutions. i love the sentiment of looking back at the year and looking forward to a new start, so to speak.
i used to make exceptionally long lists of things i want to accomplish in a year and would check them off as i go, usually half-assin' it by about july. and this year is no different in the sense that i have a lot of things i want to do and work on, but there's no half-assin' allowed this go around.
i accomplished so very much this year personally, that i'm not really beating myself up for not doing all of the other things that were on the '09 list. yet, i still have high hopes for the blank canvas of 2010. i cannot believe we are already a decade into the century. time goes by so fast!
well, my gal and i got together last night and had our christmas, we also started making rough drafts of the things we want to work on. and let me just say how nice that was to have a like-minded friend, concerned with self-improvement, helping you hash out ideas for our respective personal evolutions. it is a beautiful thing.
here's a smattering of what was on my list:
1. do not apologize so much. i have mentioned this in previous blogs. but i have a tendency to apologize for stuff that isn't even mine. argh.
2. get all medical stuff out of the way this year. homegirl needs her wisdom teeth out, cavities filled, the eye doctor is around the corner soon too. trying not to panic as the money goes buh-bye.
3. more shows! speaking of which, i bought myself a ticket to see one of my favourite singers who will be in town march 1st! {squeal!}
4. more trips! there's a possibility of new york, chicago, and of course road trips are always an option!
5. reinstate my formally awesome habit of meditation. it did so much for my psyche (and my sleep) that i think it's time i brought it back into my world.
6. devote more time to mornings. i usually do, but for the past three weeks or so, i have been ill-equipped in regard to getting enough sleep therefore my beautiful mornings with the baby have fallen to the wayside. bad mama. this must be remedied.
7. this is kind of silly, but i want to resolve to make my bed every day. ha! how ridiculous is that? but my room feels cleaner when my bed is made. it makes me head feel a bit more latched on too. and having a properly latched-on noggin can only help, right?

what's on your lists for this upcoming year, friends? i'd love to know!
adieu for now,

Sunday, December 27, 2009

get yer motor runnin'

the third entry in my "looking back at '09" involves road trips and great friends.

i took several awesome road trips this year. one to central florida, one to atlanta, another to savannah/durham/chapel hill, yet another to ft. walton beach, florida. there were concerts, there were lady friends, guy friends, there was laughter, and many a mile clocked on our respective vehicles.

there is something so specific about road trip memories. the silence, the noise, the laughter, new inside jokes, the gas station food, waffle house, concert venues, boxed wine, cheap hotels, and all around fun. sometimes a change in scenery is so greatly needed, and i'm grateful that i had as many opportunities as i have had this year to hit the road. thanks to those that have shared it with me... and to those who may do so come 2010, better check the air in 'em tires because the road is callin' me!

adieu for now, darlings.


*pic from savvy, ga on my pal's floaty back deck.

buzzy mcnoggin & the ideas

good morning campers! 'tis sunday and i slept. oh buddy, did i sleep. five hour nap (can't decide if it is still considered a nap if it's that long) yesterday afternoon, and eight hours last night. oh how i love that i don't have to think about work for a little while. that may seem random but there is a total logical track for how i got from sleep to work. i'll save you the details. moooving on.
on today's agenda? clean the funky little shack. it looks like a band of huns ransacked the joint. after that, i am going to have christmas and dinner with my gal pal. delightful!
i have a lot of things to think about today. in fact my mind is a-buzzing this morning with ideas. none of which have to do with a plan of attack for cleaning the funky little shack (ooh, a rhyme!), but a lot having to do with lining up the metaphorical ducks.
i have made the decision not to stay in this apartment for the next year, and though i am exceptionally wary to sign another year lease anywhere else in town, am looking forward to finding a place with lower rent so that i may live a little bit more within my means.
i am also trying to figure out how i'm going to change my etsy store. if i should just start over from scratch (new name, new shop) or just change the current shop. buzz buzz buzz, so many thoughts!
amidst this carnivale in my head today, i do promise to relax at some point...maybe. i hope.
adieu for now, kids! happy sunday!

Saturday, December 26, 2009

put a record on

well, i have been sufficiently holidayed. i spent a lovely day with my family and evening with my friends. at some point i will have to get some stuff done at the funky little shack and maybe get a good long nap, but i can say that this was one of the best holidays on record for me. a lot of quality time with quality people, and a treasure trove of homemade and thoughtful gifts (which i lurve!).
i have (of course) scheduled myself within an inch of my life this weekend, but come monday, i will be relaxing. possibly even sleeping and all in all reveling in my time off. oh it's a blessed thing!
today i am fortunate enough to be chilling at the local college radio station with a groovy mixmaster friend and am listening to some fantastic music and laughing a lot. what a flippin' cool start to my breakcation! i am a lucky girl.
i hope your day is filled with a bucket of laughter and the music that speaks to your soul too.
adieu for now,

Thursday, December 24, 2009

up and at 'em & eve.

oh my goodness. it is done. the holiday gauntlet is complete. i am somewhat in tact minus a few psychological bruises. it was a really hard season this time around. there are probably a lot of factors in play on that too. but it's done. now here's what's a-happenin' with me today.
i am going to wrap presents, take a nap, take a shower, play with the little buddy, hang out with the folks (more than likely a church visit), and eat manicotti for dinner. yeah, and after tomorrow i am doing whatever i want to whenever i want to for several delightful luxurious days.
i cannot express how excited i am at the concept of sleeping in (sort of...not that easy with a little dood who wakes up at 7:20 every morning on the dot), laughing with friends, listening to records, eating eating eating, and maybe even relaxing a little too.
last night i went to a christmas party and had a great time with some awesome people. it was a little challenging to get up this morning and work but worth it for a symphony of laughter and visitin' was had. a few awkward encounters too, which is inevitable apparantly, because i am me. but all in all i enjoyed every minute and every person i got to hang out with. minus the one guy i almost slapped. tee hee.
i look forward to that party every year and this one was so fun. it's nice to be accepted a little bit for being myself after all these years of trying to "persuade" people to give me a chance (which is hard when you don't really give people chances either...i can admit i've been guilty of that in the past). but, it was lovely to sit and be able to have a conversation with just about every person there and have genuine moments. there are a few exceptions to that, but just the fact that it happened at all did my heart so much good. chalk that one up as a success in general.
happy christmas eve, folks. thank you for being you.
adieu for now,

Wednesday, December 23, 2009


on a happier note, one of the things i look back on 2009 with great fondness is that i did some of the things i always talked about but never could seem to just do. one of which was opening my online store , the other is writing this blog.

now, the online store is "on vacation" right now and will be up and running with a different look come january 1st (i hope!). the blog is know because you come and join me every day.

it brings me great joy and peace to be able to find a niche in which the expression of myself is accepted. it doesn't always work in the real world, but in the cyber world it's a hit (so to speak).

i am really looking forward to how i will grow and change in those areas as the next year rolls on. how my creativity will be challenged; and flourish further perhaps. who i will meet, where i will go, and oh the things i will learn! i am excited about all that each day opens up for me.

adieu for now,


a somewhat operational lu

good morning friends! i'm up and running at about 70% today. that's better than yesterday which was about 40%. i have done nothing but sleep, work, and whine for the past couple of days and i am really ready to nip this in the bud! the good thing that has come out of being sick during the busiest time of year for me?
1. lots of long hot baths. yes it's the fifth time i've mentioned baths.
2. rekindling my love for tea. my body has rejected coffee in favour of the herbal deliciousness.
3. spending lots of time with sev, who i think has grown a little weary of my constant presence in the house.
4. watching movies. i haven't sat and done that in a while and have since managed to watch there will be blood, purple rain, better off dead, and the answer man. even writing that sentence made me feel fatigued. ruh-roh. time for more tea or a tequila shot to kill all the buggies methinks.

well, kids. i promise to return to this blog a more jovial and interesting woman in the next day or two. 'til then, thank you for taking the time to read anyway! it's appreciated.
xo for now,

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

lookin' back

since 2009 is drawing to a close and it has been such an eventful year; i thought i'd take a second post each day and write about some of my favourite memories/blog entries etc. of the year.

today i have been thinking about new york again. perhaps because it's cold, and perhaps because it's the holidays and there's a certain sadness inherent in that for me. i was in a bad way when i went to new york. so much so that i missed a great deal of the amazing qualities of the city because i was so stuck in my head. but, i look back on that trip with great fondness. it was a cool gift to myself and i shared it with someone special. i ate great food, and made a lot of memories that have stayed with me even though i was not "all there" at the time.

i can't wait to go back to that city though i think a little piece of it will always be february of '09 for me. it now has a special place in my heart and those memories, as crumpled as they can be due to the circumstances that surrounded it (and afterward) are cherished. completely.


*pic is from Moutarde in brooklyn

grumpy girl

i am fighting this sinus/cold nastiness with violent fervor and yet i still feel like crap on toast this morning. three days of nurturing and caring for myself and my throat is still sore, my body still aches, and my sinuses are in revolt. no me gusta.
i do have to hand it to the fates that the timing could not be more impeccable. right when i cannot take off work to recuperate...21 more hours of work before i can actually relax.
oh well, enough wallerin'. so what, i don't feel good! i do have the snuggliest little pup who won't leave my side, i'm brewing some tea, baking a casserole as a thank-you for some friends, and anxiously awaiting coming home from work today and crawling in the bath tub again. in case y'all didn't know, i get into the tub when i don't feel good. hence the four different posts referencing bathing over the past week.
anyway, i hope your tuesdays are far more interesting with much fewer aches. life is good.

Monday, December 21, 2009

i like to make drawrings...

standing at this vantage point in the morning it seems like it will take a year to get to the end of this week. thankfully it is not the case, but sunday was not long enough to recuperate from retail and holiday "festivities". i'm not feeling 100% today because sinuses are staging a coup d' etat (who knows if i spelled that correctly) but tonight, i am looking forward to making a divine casserole and wrapping the last of the gifts before i officially clock out of the holidays in general.
i have a sneaking suspicion that i will be soaking in a hot bath again tonight as i have done for the past three nights. it is the most decadent treat. in fact the most decadent treat i can imagine at this point in my life is time. lots of time. being a single, independent gal i recognize that i am more blessed than some to have the luxury of taking a two hour bath. i promise not to squander this blessing, folks. heh.
i can't believe i talked about bathing again on this thing. sorry if it sends unfortunate images to some of you. i am amused though.
adieu for now!

Sunday, December 20, 2009

which way is north anyway?

hello friends, i am at the conclusion of my weekend. yes it was short, but i shoved a whole lot of fun into the tiniest of weekend-shaped containers. i was a little hard on my body which has me thinking more and more about what i can do to get back to those long-ago days of health and well-being.
i'm sure a trip to new leaf market is in order (gotta wait for that next paycheck though) to get some vitamins. i have been doing really good in some areas, but truly wretchedly bad in others. so, the time for action is now. and just in time for the new year too!
tonight i am comfortably in bed, having taken an extremely long bath while watching there will be blood (surrealistic, beautiful, frightening, and mind-blowing) and will pontificate further on the many changes i need to conjure for myself this upcoming year while i dream about daniel-day lewis and his tom selleck mustache.
i am sending truly positive energies to you and yours friends. i hope your sunday was amazing and that your monday is too!

Saturday, December 19, 2009

naptastic snugglestar

hola amigos, i am home from work and though i need to be out running errands, i have to just sit for a minute. a beautiful peaceful minute while sleepwalking is playing. it's pretty fitting considering the crazy day at the shop today. i'm so glad to be beginning my brief but much anticipated weekend.

here's a little list for you this afternoon:
1. there is a majestic simple joy in having a warm little pup snuggle up next to you and feeling the rhythm of his breathing. what a snugglebuns!
2. wine was invented for just-after-work days like this. hallelujah!
3. there are some people i encounter in my day who i just want to reach out, grab hold of and hug simply because they are genuinely kind. it would be inappropriate i'm sure, but goodness it's nice to know that they exist and that i am reminded of that at least once a day (usually when i need it most).
4. lately the sunsets have been tremendously gorgeous in my little hamlet. the colour is just right and it does that whole dappled sunlight through the trees thing as it sinks. so lovely.
5. i am digging the concept of less right now. if any of y'all don't know what to get me for christmas (because i'm SO sure you are thinking about what to buy me) or are curious about future gift ideas... if it ain't homemade (and i do love homemade things!); make a donation to heifer international, NPR, or have a fruit tree planted in my name. something along those lines.
life is beautiful. let's do more for others, because we can.
adieu to you dearies.


goooood morning friends. 'tis saturday and this little mama had a nice time out with her ladyfriend last night. oh it was so nice to lounge and giggle and people watch. i can feel that i need some hermit time coming up because i have been having a whole lotta fun these days. well, that's what the post-holiday reprieve was designed for i reckon.
but in all seriousness, home calls me. simple nights by the fire drinking wine and listening to music. oh how delightful! i will be doing that tonight after work...well, at least until it's time to go to a show and go dancing! ha!
the best laid plans.
well, friends, i best get ready to head back into the salt mines. it's sale day. ack!
adieu for now,

Friday, December 18, 2009

82 give or take.

oh it feels amazing to be home! good evening friends! i've had quite a long day. i'm so glad i only have one more day of work before i have a day off. i'm really excited about laughing and eating delicious food and sleeping. i wish i could actually do all three things simultaneously because then i could make better use of my 36 hours of weekend. alas, i reckon i'll have to do it the old fashioned way.
i'm busy busy busy but i'm doing alright. i have some magnificent meatloaf heatin' up in the oven. there's finally a chill back in the air and i have a smiley little puppums happy to see me. god, that feels good.
i reckon i don't have much of interest to say other than to delve into the inner workings of my mind once again, but honestly. i'm too tired for that tonight. i'm just happy to be feeling decent, to be home, soon-to-be fed, and perhaps soaked in a warm bath. oh yeah. catch y'all on the flip side!

Thursday, December 17, 2009

vegetanuary 2010

i've forgotten to mention this but i have been meaning to! because i'm such a resolution-oriented person and if you've read this blog for any amount of time, you know i tend to make resolutions for every month not just every year. well, i've already decided on my next one. vegetanuary. that's right, much to the shagrin of the carnivores in my life, i will be a vegetarian for the month of january. it will feel good, help shed the holiday lbs, and just be a creative surge for my kitchen once agian. the only thing i can see as an obstacle is family dinner...but if i have to make side dishes for four tuesday nights, i just do.
i'm getting too old not to actually do the things i talk about and returning to my previously healthy lifestyle seems like a good idea (especially since i am rapidly drawing nearer to the close of my 20's). who's down to try it for 31 days? it's not that long, people!
adieu for now, kiddos!

mixmaster sparklediva!

good morning kids, 'tis thursday. i've been a busy little elf working on my mix cd's for friends. it makes me feel so swanky putting together these little portals into my world. but what is better than to sit at the computer with a glass of wine, charlie brown on the t.v., and listen to music for four hours or so? that's what i did last night and it was intoxicating...the wine helped but it was the music afterall. the music, man!
today i am double-checking the final copy i made for one friend before i move on to finalize another. i knew i was a perfectionist but in this little experience i saw in myself, my dad working away on soundboards and mixes, perfecting websites and newsletters, double-triple-quadruple checking things. it's kind of funny when you see yourself do something your parents or grandparents do. i've also learned that i have to walk away from it before i can perfect it. it'll never happen in one limited time frame.
anyway, i am in a musical headspace today. i have the pixies with me during my morning coffee and big black mariah for breakfast. mmmmhmmmm. what a beautiful day. hope yours is some kinda something too friends!

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

reigning queen of random

heyo! guess who's sitting in the funky little shack cooking yummy food, chatting with a stinky little pup, and watching a charlie brown christmas? oh yeah, it's me! feels good. damn good.
it has been a long day, but a good one. i'm in rockin' spirits and happy to be putting my feet up.
i'm still greatly looking forward to the weekend, because my weekends have been so much fun lately. but each day is getting easier for me to relax (even though i'm exhausted).
i have a really rad life. i have some beautiful creatures in it. i've got my bills paid. i've got a hairstylist who doesn't butcher me, and a hankering for peanut chicken. hell yeah life is beautiful!
i hope your evenings are peaceful and thoroughly enjoyed.
any y'all want some peanut chicken, come on over! tell your mama and 'em i said hey!
adieu for now,


good afternoon kids! 'tis wednesday and that means four more days 'til weekend. is that sad, i'm on day two of the week and already counting down? meh.
i feel good today. lowkey. hoping to get out of any plans for the evening and just stay home. i haven't done that enough and i sure do miss it. in fact, i have decided that's what i'm going to do. this little filly needs a night of pampering. lots of sparkly water, netflix, face masks, and a hot bath. oh my goodness. i think the next few hours will be the longest now that i have something that miraculous to look forward to. oh yeah.
more to come later, friends!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

a longy but a goody

good morning kids! sorry for the weekend absence. well, i had a weekend and it was superfun. i will be recovering for about a week because i can't hang like i used to. hell, even when i was young, i couldn't hang like i did this weekend. good lord, i should qualify for some sort of medal or something.
anyway, life is good today. i woke up after ten hours of what some would call sleep. i would call it a nocturnal rhythmic dancing marathon in which i participated in a semi-conscious state. but i awoke in a deep, heavy, contemplative state of mind. as the morning has wandered on, i have deduced only a couple of reasons for it.

1. that whole deciding within the next two weeks where i'm going to be living "for the next year" is haunting me and my mind can't be still or creative about it.
2. i really need to get back in my healthier lifestyle. what happened to that vegetarian pilates girl i used to be? my thighs and my internal organs would like to know.
3. the reality that one of my closest friends won't be living in this city anymore come spring took my breath away this morning. woah. i'm a little bit of a sentimental schmuck and am already thinking of the things we should do before she's gone. i need a hug.
4. why the heck am i still in tallahassee? seriously. i don't want to be far from my parents but, i have no reason to be here except that bitch of a magnetic field over by the tallahassee mall.
5. money. debt. money. bills. money. net worth. money. argh.

now that i have written just a few of these down, i feel a little lighter. and i'm also feeling grateful. i have been a lot lately which is rad.
so, to create a nice dichotomy for my post today...some things i am grateful for.

1. new friends. i'm socially exhausted after this weekend but needed a day like sunday. we all sat around and had champagne and listened to records and laughed. then we ate, and watched you tube, had some more champagne, and laughed even more. i know i will need a week of convalescing to be able to make it through the holidays in one piece but i haven't made it through the holidays in one piece in years so...whatevs. i'm grateful for the awesome company this weekend.
2. old friends. it's taken a long time to weed out the ones worth nurturing and i am overwhelmed by the wonderful connections i have. what an fantastic blessing! come to find out, i can be just as stingy with my oldies as i can be with my newbies but i am soooo glad i merged the two together this weekend. it was so cool to have an awesomeness showdown between them. everyone won!
3. my ability to care. sometimes it gets me in trouble because i care too much. but i do care, tremendously. i wonder if perhaps that is one of the things i should think about when considering a new profession. hmmm...can i get a job as a professional hugger and carer? in all seriousness, i'm grateful that that piece of me hasn't been broken after all these years.
4. encouragement. i have had a lot of people say some very supportive and encouraging things this week. i don't know why i am so challenged to believe people. i'm so afraid of failure that it freezes me. the thing is, i have failed plenty of times and not beaten myself up. i reckon, my fear with this subject in particular (intentionally vague) is that i want this so much that if i fail, it will hurt a million times worse. *sigh* long story short. i am truly grateful for the amazing, kind words of encouragement in regard to this issue. it gives me hope that i perhaps may not fail afterall. and if i do, i tried and that's cool.
5. that people read this blog. as silly as it sounds. it's nice to know now after almost a year of doing this, that i have this little corner all to myself that i can share with people that want to read it. who want to hear about my life and who have some form of daily amusement from the carnival that is my mind. thank you for sharing this with me.
*yes, i did just get a little emotional.

adieu for now, friends!

Saturday, December 12, 2009

dwarves and galaxies

you know what? my gut is so rarely wrong. i awoke from this elusive thing called a nap having had a realization about something. it isn't a realization that i haven't had before, but those little sparkling moments of enlightenment sure ease a worried mind when they do roll around.
i am not perfect and i sure as hell never claim to be. i know i can be curt and ornery, loud and uncomfortably silly and a million other faulted dwarves; but, i do work hard for the people in my life.
if you are in my weird little world then that means i care about you. i bring your sorrows home with me and i celebrate your joys and successes with a whole heart. if you are not in my galaxy then that means that there are walls for a reason. that is so difficult for me to accept sometimes. i should just swallow that horsepill and stop abusing myself when i cannot get from people of choice the things i admire and desire to welcome into my life. there are some mixed metaphors in there. but i know what i mean. and when it comes down to it...i read my own blog a lot and it'll be good to reread this as an affirmation later.
i cannot tell whether i should nap more or less now. ha!
have a beautiful, chilly saturday night, friends! you are cared for.

go back to bed, dood.

good mornin' kids, 'tis saturday. how i long for saturdays off. and health insurance. one day i hope. yes, i am aware that was random.
it is gnarly, cold, and rainy here today but i rather like it. it's cozy weather. perfect for snuggin' up with a book and a fire in the fireplace.
so last night i dragged my zombie bootie to waterworks for a friend's birthday celebration. that was nice and lowkey except for a few shrill cackles from yours truly.
what can i say? if something makes me laugh there's no stopping my mighty whooping caw. then me and ladyfriend went to see a friend of ours that works at one of my favourite alcoholic establishments where we proceeded to drink delicious beverages and chatter away for hours. it was lovely.
this morning i am tired (what else is new?) and counting down the time until i get to be home with seven (8 btw). i really wish i had more interesting things to say this morning but my synapses are in revolt.
later, kids!

Friday, December 11, 2009

zombie princess

good evening, friends. what. a. long. day. it is officially official that christmas has hit tallahassee. i was busier than a one-legged man in an ass-kickin' contest and was so grateful for my boss picking up the slack from me being so bloody tired today. we knocked it out of the ballpark fa sho.
tonight i have some festivities planned and i haven't the foggiest how i will manage to hit all the locales without falling asleep in my beer at some point. ah, no worries. 'tis the season right?
i know i say it often, but i am just stitching a silver lining like its my job. today was hard in a lot of ways. stitch stitch. it was also incredible and i like to think that tonight will be fun too simply because i will it to be so.
my tired bootay is going to hit the showers, get dressed (really warm because it's like 30 degrees here right now!), and hit the town to do some celebrating of some awesome people.
i love celebrating the awesome people in my life.
adieu for now, kiddos.

flippin' fabulous friday

good morning tater tots & dumplings! 'tis friday and i am in THE BEST mood today. had a great night out with friends and cannot wipe the smile off of my face. i am sure there will be a customer or two that come in that will attempt to do so for me but ish kabibble! i am happy to be happy.
so here's whats a-going on in my world...
1. weirdo internet connection that had me on the phone all morning with comcast. awesome customer service chick laughed at all of my jokes and helped me get a temp internet connection. score!
2. seven the most adorable pup in the world sitting on the settee, very annoyed that we didn't play ball this morning. oooh. if looks could kill!
3. have all kinds of funsies planned for the weekend, all of which i am looking forward to readily.
4. learned that not only am i a geek about grocery shopping and the container store...but also have learned that i really love the coin-op laundromat. especially with friends that'll trade off reading poetry with you while your clothes don't get dry.
5. i have gathered quite the christmas stocking haul for me and seven this year. i've already forgotten what i've gotten for myself but come christmas morning, me and little man will be very excited i'm sure!

alright, kids. i have to go to work now. i hope you friday is fantastic and that you smile and laugh all day long.
adieu for now,

Thursday, December 10, 2009

waxing poetic

a poem for y'all today...based on an awkward and amusing true story from a few nights ago.

unfortunate portrait

ain't that just how it goes sometimes?

you saddle up next to me

drunk on so many things

i place my hand on your back

and offer you a ride home

would offer to hold your hand because you seem so down

but i know it wouldn't help at all

and you've got that forty foot wall around you

being an asshole to everyone

kissing me, then shoving me away

with a disgusted expression on your face

you look for a back way out of the bar

so you don't have to see me again

i've been there

i have been that person before

alone and angry

drunk on so many things

and it's just how it goes sometimes


by: lindsey anders "lulu" carpenter

zip it

good morning world. 'tis thursday and i am in the fuzziest head space today. you'd think going to bed early, i'd be revivified (yes i know it's not a real word) and ready to take on the day. yet i am more like a housecat this morning. yawning, stretching, lazing about, and finding little scraps of sunlight to lay in. that actually sounds better than my morning to tell you the truth.
but life is great. i had family dinner last night, which was nice and lowkey. got great news from my ladyfriend and i am beyond thrilled for her!
i had interesting dreams and will have to make sure i do not tell the people who were in them about them for they will be frightened of me after that. that's not really that surprising though. eventually i will learn not to say everything that's on my mind. eventually.
well, i will attempt more items of interest later today...i must get ready for work now.
adieu friends! and to all the newbies who just entered my little corner of the universe...welcome! you are cared for!

Wednesday, December 9, 2009


good morning folks! guess who didn't get done what she said she would? yep. duty called. that meant thai food and wine. here's what i learned yesterday:

1. i love meeting new people, especially if they are rad. the people i have been hanging out with lately are cool and exciting and amusing as hell. i kind of want to share them with the world but i'm feeling a little stingy with them too. only child. duh.
2. someone pointed out to me that i have a guilty conscience. it drives me nuts that i do. i apologize all the time for silly things; some things that aren't really my fault too! i passed a note to someone last night just negating the entire conversation we had had but ending it with i heart *insert name of choice* xo lulu. argh. i'm captain ridiculous sometimes. wait, which is higher ranked, a captain or a lieutenant? whichever one is ranked higher in the ridiculous army, then that's me.
3. i need to talk less about myself. i mean in real life. this blog is entirely dedicated to me talking about myself so i should just leave it here and not take it out there.
4. spicy peanuts on top of thai noodly soup is kind of genius. i have to make it less spicy than i had last night because i'm a wuss. but yum!
5. when i get drawn to someone's personality. it's magnetic and i can become really intense. i don't really like that about me; but that tunnel vision spotlight of mine apparantly makes for a hilarious show.

adieu for now, friends!

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

*cue the golden girls theme song*

good afternoon, friends. that's right, i said afternoon. i didn't have the luxury of extra time to sit and write this morning. so here i am a little tardy.
well, it's a hazy, grey day here in tally. family dinner got cancelled tonight so i will be up at mi casa having a blast with the pup and cleaning. the budget is supertight this week and i've done a truly crappy job of not using my credit card this month. come this paycheck that will change.
i've had an interesting day. a lot of conversations about a lot of things with a lot of people. it's a little exhausting but it's a good exhausting i think.
i feel i am really fortunate to have the people in my life that i do. now, while i do often express gratitude for my truly awesome family (and they are truly awesome), today my focus is on my friends.
each person i bring into my world meets a purpose. how lovely is that? i have exceptional friends that each love and support me uniquely.
last year i completed an epic battle with myself and a lot of people in this town. i fought to be loved and supported for who i am (horrific faults and all) and i lost a lot of people. that was a very hard thing to deal with. losing people who i had put a lot of energy into caring for.
today i am happy though, because many burned bridges have been cleared away to make room for new ones (perhaps built from less flammable materials). the river below them is no longer raging, but moving forward at a nice, quick pace. and i am blessed enough to have my life filled with laughter.
i'm feeling very grateful for all of you today. loves!
adieu for now,

Monday, December 7, 2009

but which way?

good morning amigas y amigos. 'tis monday and i have the day off. i've had such a crazy weekend that i actually need the extra day. i'm on my second cup of coffee and second hour of lazing in bed with the pup. it's so decadent, i can hardly stand it. soon though, i will have to get the stink blowed off of me and get some things done.
i kept myself really busy this weekend. i can't quite figure out what's up with that, honestly. my mind has been a speedboat dragging a water-skiier behind it. well actually, i think i'm the water-skiier too.
the thing is, i am experiencing a myriad of emotions (what's new about that?) but there's a peace about them. i can feel the urge to slip back into old habits, but i'm fighting it steadily. i feel the push of opportunities and manifest destiny as it were, but am unsure about how to let myself be pushed. in case you didn't know, i'm rather stubborn and have a tendency to dig my heels in when i'm unsure about something.
i've talked to a lot of people about this. some say i need to get out of the town that i live in. others say that life is the same no matter where you go. i can't say i agree with the latter necessarily. i think that there is a niche for me somewhere that i haven't found yet.
people that will further enrich my life the way my chosen few in this city have. yo necessito la passion en mi vida otra vez. i don't think the grammar was correct with that, but i know what i was trying to say at least.
alright, kids. i reckon i better get up and get this day a-goin'.
loves to all!

Sunday, December 6, 2009

shout, sister, shout!

good morning friends! i'm so glad to be in my super snuggly bed this morning. i had the most bizarre evening last night and my mind won't stop long enough for me to begin to truly analyze it. so instead of analyzing it, i'm going to line it in silver.
1. though i missed the birthday party i was supposed to go to, i still enjoyed a few people's company thoroughly at the christmas party; and i'm glad i went.
2. though the night ended with three extremely awkward encounters; i had fun dancing. met up with three very enjoyable friends (not at all involved with aforementioned awkwardness) and laughed a lot.
3. though i am worried about every little percieved slight and whether or not i've upset people, i know that i do my best. weird things happen to me and i never know how to react.
the people that are in my life are in my life for a reason. i really don't need to work for anyone's approval.
it is easy to say, not always easy to manifest. i do have an exceptional amount of peace about that today though. refreshing considering how much i fretted this weekend about it.

all in all, i'm in a good place. i'm happy to be where i am. i pine for the safety and comfort of certain people sometimes, but i know that i am 1000 times more equipped to deal with things now. i have awesome friends (thank goodness!), a great family, an ability to talk to whomever about just about anything which saves me from feeling too lonely. i have a relatively healthy body, a big tender heart full of love, and the most awesome dog a gal could ask for.
who could ask for anything more?

Saturday, December 5, 2009

and waffle house hasbrowns too...

hello world, 'tis saturday (i think). just rolled back into town after going to see a concert in fort walton beach. had a lot of giggles and fun. bought myself my new favourite winter hat and cool sunglasses too.

fort walton made concert venues in tallahassee look like the cream of the crop. there were a lot of wasted youngins running around in minidresses in 40 degree weather, barfing everywhere; but i enjoyed my friends' company immensely and enjoyed learning about a band i wouldn't normally listen to. the drummer was pretty damn good; really precise and energetic. i can always appreciate that.

now that i'm home i have precious few hours to relax, straighten mi casa, clean myself up, and go to a christmas party, followed by a birthday party. i'm excited for both, but i'm feeling a little anxious being double-booked. argh. whatevs.

well, i've got shuggie otis on my pandora, a fire in the fireplace, an oven full o' au gratin potatoes baking away. breathe. no need to stress, right? two parties = twice the fun, right? right. the power of positive thinking and the glass of wine i'm about to consume...

love to all this fine day!



adorable isn't it?

Friday, December 4, 2009

shimmy shimmy cocoa puff

good morning friends! baby, it's cold outside. for realsies. yes, i say realsies. 'tis friday and the mercury is dipping down down baby, down by the rollercoaster. it feels like december and i'm getting spoiled with every day of warm-coat weather that i'm given.
this afternoon, i'm going on a mini-road trip with two gal pals. i'm not too terribly familiar with the band we will see, but i know we will have a great time. how could we not? there's a la quinta involved and restaurant gift cards...and gal pals!
i had an awesome night out last night, champagne tasting with miss a; and leon pub with new friends. now i'm off to the tub with a certain stinky little man.
i hope y'all are having a great friday too!
much loves and more posts of interest to come soon (i hope).

Thursday, December 3, 2009

snooze button sally

for crying out loud, i am exhausted today! whew! i was a good girl and even though i went out and had some wine last night, i didn't overdo it. i did, however stay out waaaaay too late. argh. highlights of the evening?
1. dancing to late 90's dance music ("around the world" and "praise you" were two of those little classic ditties) with the bartender at a place i like to go to; who i may possibly frighten every time i see because i think he is adorable and he always says nice things to me; and that's all it takes to get unending attention from me apparantly.
2. trying to speak russian with arcadian the russian physics guy that was at the bar. how did i do? F-A-I-L, but i've been saying "tbatchnick" (yes, the soup) all morning because it makes me feel like i'm speaking russian though i'm not. i think it's yiddish...ugly american party of 1.
3. running into brittany from america's next top model. except i thought she was someone i went to high school with and she pretended to know who i was. it was rather amusing. she said i was looking fabulous, so hey...even though neither one of us knew what the hell was going on, i still got a compliment out of it. yay me!

now i am at work and doing that whole head-nodding trying not to fall asleep thing. very attractive. but, life is good. it's a gorgeous day. i'm good. i hope your day is fantastic too! more later!

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

28 days later, minus cillian murphy.

good morning friends! 'tis wednesday. hump day. heh. it is green outside and heavy with rain. it would be a nice day to snuggle in and watch movies. don't i say that almost every day? i have an unfortunate case of homebody.
anyway, i got a notice on my door yesterday reminding me i have 90 days before my lease is up, which means i have now...28 days to tell them whether or not i will be renewing my lease for another year. argh.
i can't see that i would do that, as much as i love my little shack. i would really love to find that open doorway to a new city and job. so, i am trying not to freak out about that impending decision and all that comes with it. for some reason i thought i'd have until the end of january not the end of december to make that choice. i don't do well under pressure.
oh well, life is good. my coffee is good. the pup is rambunctious, and my horoscope said to keep my opinions to myself. what? two days in a row?! aw come on! it's probably wise though, that i do.
if anyone knows a life coach that is willing to do some pro bono work, let me know. *insert cutesie emoticon here*
i hope your wednesday is full of creative energy, productivity, and optimism!
adieu for now,
loves to all, friends.

for all my lady friends, it is cruel to mention cillian murphy, but not leave some images for you. enjoy!

Tuesday, December 1, 2009


1. my wonderful family. we decorated the christmas tree at my mama's house tonight and there were so many giggles and cool memories. i'm very blessed.
2. my fabulous friends. sometimes old habits kick in and i get down and feel alone but i have at least one or two people text me to make me laugh every day. it helps put things in perspective.
3. seven. it sounds silly but seeing his little face every day makes the toughest stuff that much more bearable. he makes me smile every single day. that's awesome.
4. my job. it drives me absolutely insane sometimes, but i'm glad i have one.
5. the funky little shack. my life has turned around since nabbing this little corner of the world for myself.

thanks for showing up and being a part of my universe!

so sweet!

okay, so i was thinking this morning about how i only get certain treats for myself at certain times of year; and not that i'm a sweet freak per se, but there are just some things i love. especially this time of year. here's the list!

1. werthers originals. oh my god, why are these things so delicious?! every time i eat one of these i think about the house we lived in on sedona loop. fire in the fireplace, and me consuming an entire bag of these little delectable butterscotch ovals of nostalgia!
2. caramel squares. they have to be that perfect smooth consistency, not grainy. i use to eat them in my grandmother's kitchen. i haven't a clue why she had them one year but i nearly ate them all.
3. andes mints. mama always put them in the toe of my stocking. i actually am not a fan of mint, but these, i love. many a week between christmas and new year's was spent nomming andes mints. the scent of these reminds me of being at the airport. i say that with great fondness. i used to travel a lot between christmas and new year and those brief hours of being alone and having an adventure...well, those memories often smell like andes mints. funny.
4. my mom's english toffee. this stuff is ridiculously amazing. it's quite the process but, we keep the broken pieces and put them on ice cream. oh yeah. some kind of fabulous.
5. no-bake cookies. chocolate, oatmeal, peanut butter. waiting for them to harden was the biggest form of torture ever. because there's nothing in it that's raw, my head would oft be in the batter bowl. oh yum!
why did i do this to myself this morning? what are your favourites?

the foist

how can i sleep for nine hours and still be tired?! good morning friends, 'tis tuesday the first of december. the twelfth "new year" of 2009. my resolution? other than the credit card issue, it's to get my lazy bootay into gear with yoga again.
oh, did you remember to say rabbit rabbit this morning? it wishes you good luck throughout the month. i woke up saying it over and over. my superstitious nature has officially settled into my subconscious now. teehee.
it is wonderfully chilly outside, it actually feels like december. i am now putting away my autumn hat and pulling out my winter one, yay!
it makes me think about being little during the holidays here in tally, and in nashville. it makes me miss new york again. i have really been missing it lately. i find that amusing, considering how depressed i was when i was there. but leave it to new york to put it's hand on the small of my back and lead me into a room full of happy memories (instead of the sad ones).
i have a busy week this week, kiddos. three days and one evening of work, family dinner tonight, then a road trip with a coupla gal pals this weekend, and a birthday party as soon as i get back from that.
i am hoping for positive energies throughout my day. i woke up feeling a lot less animosity toward retail this morning. possibly because i had such a productive weekend. who knows?
i am hoping for positive energies for all y'all in your many adventures today and this week. you are exceptionally cared for!
adieu for now,