Friday, April 30, 2010
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Monday, April 26, 2010
Sunday, April 25, 2010
i'm chillin' on the couch, lookin' out the window. i've got my girl, V over studying for finals while the gilmore girls run on a loop in the background. this is an atypical sunday funday but it's lovely nonetheless. changes are happening all around me and within me. life is being lived. feelings are being felt. hope your day is peaceful, friends.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
last night was interesting. i watched a movie with a friend; then after a mildly annoying incident i found myself at an old favourite watering hole of mine where i ran into one of my favourite people, two of my previous neighbours and a couple of newbies whom i found to be delightfully entertaining. i drank bubbly shiraz, laughed inappropriately loud and then took my little behind home and went to bed. it was very nice indeed. a chill friday (or second thursday if you read yesterday's post).
Friday, April 23, 2010
Thursday, April 22, 2010
monday dinner with cb & twin. mama has had a hankering for mexican food after all the festival healthy food.tuesday night wine & tubby time. how i chill and water-warp the pages of whatever book i'm reading at the time.
top pic: the best way to get out of a funk. have this little angelita greet you at the park running full speed, giggling and yelling "lulu!" does any heart good, i'd wager.
love to all!
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
today i woke up sad at 5 am. weird dreams weird realities. i finally fell back asleep around 6. when i finally pulled my tired butt out of bed i felt just as sad, a little puffy, but much stronger.
that's the ticket. i'm strong as hell. even when i am feeling remarkably downtrodden, i know i am strong. i can deal. i may lose my cool, but i always recover. i have the weeble-wobble gene. you can knock me down but i always bounce right back up.
and...of course, everything happens for a reason. i let my guard down a while back and got very mad at myself for it. but my awesome roomie told me the same advice i gave her a long time ago. just allow yourself to be open to the good stuff; and i did. though it sucks to have it wither away before my eyes, i know it's happening for a purpose and i will be better for it. i already am.
here's to a new day, my darlings. here's to the lights in our lives that make the dark times more navigable. here's to life, man. it's going to be a good day. i choose for it to be, and i'm nothing if not an optimist.
all my love and gratitude to you today.
adieu for now,
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
as for me, i am doing rather well. have had a lot of much needed insight spring forth in regard to some things that have been on my mind. though i am a smidge despondent over some of the things i have learned, i am ever-so-slightly motivated to accomplish some major stuff and am feeling very straight-forward these days. a little too much methinks, but oh well. it's a practice in declaring my needs AND keeping my mouth shut. ha! so typical me, eh?
well, i've got a busy week ahead. i enjoyed a lovely combination of productivity & fun yesterday and am looking forward to all of my social engagements lined up for the next...oh, um 10 days. don't worry, i'll be taking lu time too.
aside from monstrous allergies and the ominous threat of summer heat that hangs in the air (too early for that!); and the aforementioned items of note... i am doing quite well. feeling stronger. feeling more in control, less over-stimulated and vulnerable. it's a delicate scale but i'm doing my best not to let any hiccups throw me off too much.
while i've learned over the past 5 years or so, is that it is important to accept help when you need it; i have also learned all to well in that span of time (particularly recently) that no one, and i mean no one, will take care of me or love me better than i already do. i've kind of always known this but seem to have been out of practice in existing as such.
i cannot rely on anything or any one person (other than myself) to give me what i need. that's crazy to think about sometimes. and if i weren't so damn stubbourn, i'd probably be depressed by it a little.
having relied heavily on family, friends, and lovers before and for so long to burnish whatever longing or need i may have felt. it's unfortunately a habit that i have steadily been chipping away at. lately even more so. gold star for me.
adieu for now, darlings. pictures to come as soon as i figure out what the heck i've done to my internet connection. hope your day is beautiful!
Monday, April 19, 2010
in it i was living somewhere on long island i think with my boyfriend (who in my dream is a random acquaintance of mine in real life who i ran into this weekend). in it, there's an epidemic infection basically that's causing everyone to turn into zombies. i'm not sure you know this about me but i am terrified of zombies. truly. i can't watch the movies yadda yadda yadda. the concept of zombies totally freaks me out.
well, so in the dream they were kind of zombies. they aren't eating people at this point but they have this maniacal look in their eyes and their mouths are stained this weird blue and red like they got punched in the face and then bled everywhere. weird. they scurry about like zombies in movies and grab people and infect them and...well, it's quite frightening.
but me and my boyfriend figure out at a kid's birthday party (nothing scarier than zombie kids!) that insulting infected people brings them out of the maniacal stupor. we learn this not from insulting children but by hearing them fighting over toys at the party. anyway, if insulted, they slowly emerge out of the infectious fog basically.
thus begins the quest and here we are running through all of new york city screaming horrible things to people with blue and blood stained faces. some too graphic and/or cruel to mention on here, but also things like "get away from me you buttface bluehair!" (that was to a little old lady by the way. at first she laughed this demonic laugh; then i said something more cruel and she snapped out of it and i pushed her out of the way...i told you it was a weird dream).
aaaanyway, my dream was playing out like a film so it fades in to a few months later and the city of new york has given me and the boyfriend a saweeeeet apartment above a badass shop of my own in a cool, funky neighbourhood as thank you for saving the city of new york. the boyfriend has become a firefighter and life is good. peaceful. i think it was autumn too (happy time for me).
one night i am out at a beauty supply shop around the corner helping my friend with her kid's birthday party favours; and i am telling her all about how much i love my boyfriend and how wonderful things are...then i get this crazy tingle on the back of my neck (which is always what happens to me when i get frightenend in real life). i look around and say to my friend "oh no. it's come back".
the infectious disease has come back and people are scrambling everywhere. i cut through a cemetary and there's the little buttface bluehair standing in a pale blue chambray shirtdress with her arms folded and grinning like the cheshire cat with the gnarly stained face. creepy, man.
i make it back to the sweet apartment and boyfriend is coming down the stairs putting on his firefighter gear. we have a moment of bizarre peace as if nothing bad is going on around us because it hasn't reached us yet; and we knew we'd made it through before and we could do it again.
it was a really awesome "partnership" moment...until after proclaiming our love to each other, i ask him to marry me when this is all over and he says...and i quote "no! whatdya think about that?! but here are your keys."; he emits a disturbing cackle of sorts, and runs away into a field of tall sea grass (like in that movie, field of dreams). i look up at my sweet apartment, listen to the commotion of the mass hysteria moving closer to my borough, my pretty shop window, the field of grass to my left, our car to my right, i sigh and wake up.
now i'm in a funny mood AND my horoscope this morning was all about partnership and rising to a occasion together; making sure i don't think i'm more important than anyone else. totally weird right? i think so. the dream and the horoscope.
okay, well that's the most interesting thing happening with me today. i'm going to clean the chateau and get some stuff done before starting my work week tomorrow.
i hope your day is nice and mellow, friends... and that no zombies attack you.
adieu for now,
Sunday, April 18, 2010
one for the books.
adieu for now. i hope you have had a great weekend too, kids. pictures to come!
Thursday, April 15, 2010
i'm just glad i'm in a decent mood and am looking forward to camping with friends and listening to music this weekend. i haven't gone to a festival since november '06. i can't say i have missed it too terribly much but i have been getting the festi-tingles for a couple of days now and that's rather enjoyable.
i haven't anything to report today. i'm still in bed, in fact. guess i should get ready for work...
adieu for now, lovies!
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
today's picture: doing better, wearing one of my favourite outfits, and rootin' around for my usual optimism. think i found it.
tuesday's picture: little miss cantankerous. it was just a dark day, guys. it happens to us all.
monday's pic: little miss 2000-flushes-bluehands magee. this is from rinsing out tie-dye goodies in the front yard with cb. they turned out pretty great. three days later, my fingernails are still blue. ha! it looks like i got my hand stuck in an airplane toilet.
i'm in a better place today. i'm feeling a little overstimulated, and am looking forward to a long bath tonight after i hit up the grocery store (exciting stuff, right?).
oh, i had originally mentioned that i wanted to read two books a month this year. well, i'm not on my 7th or 8th book for the year (which i would be if i were knocking out two a month), but i am on my third. i reread the great gatsby the other week and enjoyed it so very much. now, i'm on the thirteen moons by charles frazier. he wrote cold mountain and is from the same little north carolina town my dad is from. i started it last friday and thus far i am enjoying it. i think i'll make some time to read a few chapters in it tonight.
well, i have a festival i'm going to this weekend, so i won't be able to post friday through sunday. and yes, i have pictures from the past few days but i have misplaced my camera cord (again. i know!) and haven't been able to download them. stay tuned on that front, kiddos.
well, that is the magnificent world o' lu right now. it's a heck of a lot better than that bitter garbage yesterday, eh? thanks to all the awesome people in my life who took the time to make sure i know i am cared for. message recieved, thank goodness!
adieu for now,
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
i'm angry at the world today and angry with myself. my mind hath taken off without me and the calm, lovely fresh-of-face gal i was enjoying being has been replaced this week with a neurotic, asshole version of me. ew. no fun at all and no one's fault but my own. the nice girl is inside making a racket to get out but the angry one won't let her yet. it's going to be a long day. a long day and i haven't slept well in three or four. oi.
there is an odd cycle happening in my head right now that i have experienced before and managed to escape (within an inch of my life, mind you). i have to break the cycle now or i will be consumed by it and never be able to escape again. no time like the present, right? right!
adieu for now, kiddos. hang in there with me if you've been experiencing the neurotic asshole version of me lately. i'm about to kick her ass. it's what any nice girl would do i think.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Sunday, April 11, 2010
i'm still in a funny head space and was surprisingly (and temporarily) pulled out of it last night by a band of very amusing people. however, i do feel that tinge of the "over-do" on the back of my neck, so i know i need to be vigilant in taking alone time when i need it to prevent my not-so-spontaneous combustion.
well, this is me today. i hope you are having a beautiful, relaxing sunday kiddos! pictures to come...
adieu for now,
Saturday, April 10, 2010
off i go for now, to work and try be merry and make that money.
more to come, lovies.
Friday, April 9, 2010
Thursday, April 8, 2010
this is my newly broken left baby toe. that's right. any of you that know me, know that i've broken the last three toes of my left foot innumerable times. well, thanks to the love of my life...my baby toe was broken two days ago. i didn't realize it was actually that bad until it turned black yesterday at work. ish kabibble.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
after work i had the pleasure of porchin' it with a great, and fun lady friend and her brother. beer was had, and a little dancing in the living room to a new song by the gorillaz too. awesome! then me and the roomie went out and bought ourselves some powerball tickets. i've never played before and i am super excited. i had the oddest "grown up" feeling, buying my ticket. how funny!
unfortunately last night, my camera died. the only picture i have is of my lady friend's hand as we were dancing around her house last night. so, as soon as the battery charges for my camera, i will post it.
well, i'm off for now! i promise to post something of remote interest or substance soon!
Monday, April 5, 2010
i've spent most of the day cleaning/resting and i'm rather stoked at the progress i have made. it's good for the psyche and my psyche needed a band-aid. the weather is unseasonably warm today. while some people are stoked, i'm wondering where spring has gone. isn't it supposed to stay lovely for a few weeks before we start sweating? bring on the breezes, baby.
well, i'm in a better place physically, mentally. my head doesn't feel as foggy though i have gotten nothing of substance accomplished. oh! except for getting a decent jump on gathering items for the big yard sale i mentioned i wanted to have. that feels good. i like that little tinge of excitement one gets when the ball starts rolling, so to speak.
i'm making a point to really enjoy this one beautiful day off because work starts back up tomorrow and my weekend was, sadly just a series of woozy flashes interrupted only by frequent restless naps, chronic pain, and mystifying nausea. so, here i go, trying to heal and be positive!
adieu for now, my darlings!
*today's pictures: startled by the realization that the unbelievable sinus pressure behind my left eye has made it look slightly wonky...i decided to take pictures of both sides of my face to see just how demonstrably different they may be. and no, i have no qualms admitting the weird stuff i do when i'm by myself. y'all do weird stuff too, you just don't admit it on a semi-public forum. here's to being human! xo
friday: two of my kittie roommates spoonin' on the couch. kind of adorable and one of the few things i saw that day. orange kittums is ringo, black kittums is oj. sweet...and yes, i'm still a little allergic to cats. i love them ala distance.
saturday: sickypants magee.
sunday: you know it's easter when...there's a jelly bean fatality (or massacre).
adieu for now, kiddos:
Sunday, April 4, 2010
i had a very nice day today with my family. great lunch by mama (ham, homemade mac 'n cheese, and turnip greens), a tiny bit of cleaning at the chateau followed promptly by a two-hour nap that was out of my control.
so here it is, 10:00 at night and a few days behind on everything. i hope your weekend was super fun and eventful. i'm hoping for clear skies, so to speak, for my upcoming week. i could totally use it!
and yes, i have pictures. three days worth. i will post them tomorrow. sorry for the lapse. i've been a tad pathetico the past few days. keep sending the positive energy, kiddos! they are appreciated.
adieu for now,
Friday, April 2, 2010
i hope your friday has been far better, friends!
adieu for now,
Thursday, April 1, 2010
i got to feeling really bad yesterday afternoon and ended up staying in bed from about 5:00 pm until this morning. today i'm not doing much better but i'm downing a gallon of water in attempts to at least rinse the fine coating of pollen out of my body, and hoping to get more rest. blech.
so this weekend is easter weekend, and it is going to be a rather busy one. lots of people and social engagements, oh and food! i am really hoping to feel better because it's going to be really stinky if i stay in bed with the curtains drawn the whole time. future lu, don't be lame!
my mission today is to rally all of my positive energies (and maybe something for this headache) and force this horrible, achey, congested, nauseated, mean little sprite outta here. i am mentally cabbage-patching for this idea. the energy to actually cabbage-patch for this idea is still a little way's off but hey, conquering the mental battle is pretty epic. so...gold star for me.
remember about a week ago i posted that i was having a hard time getting ideas to manifest out of the fog in my mind? well, i'm starting to get a couple of them wrangled. i am working really hard at saving money. i have a lot of big bills coming up (the dentist being the beast of them all) and i haven't quite figured out how to pay for all of that yet. so...that big worry has been pulled out of the fog and put into a box labeled "recognized & needs further thought/action".
on the same note, i want to travel to several cities to see if i would like to live there. three cities keep registering on my radar: asheville, portland (oregan), and austin. poor austin, it's in third place because i do so detest hot weather and...well, texas for that matter. but the food is supposed to be phenomenal and two requirements for a place for me to live, are music and art. hence austin stays on the list. hmmm. one must have scratch to travel all over the united states exploring potential places to live. hence, it is tied back to my money concern. so...that idea has been pulled out of the fog as well and put into a box labeled "recognized & needs creative problem-solving". yes, i do label my mental containers.
selling a lot of my superfluous belongings (people love to give me STUFF) in a biggie yard sale (or two) is on my agenda for spring. that concept is a small one but feels like such a big giant animal to me. so it's been pulled out of the fog and put into a box labeled "not such a big deal, stop worrying about it & get the project going". i know myself far too well. sheeeesh.
well, i must admit that it feels good to have at least three little issues safely contained and awaiting further problem-solving. it clears, ever so slightly, the ominous fog in my mind. now that i'm feeling a tad less overwhelmed, then perhaps i can actually get to gettin' on solving those issues; which i know will end up sparking more creative thinking which will, in turn, continue to clear the fog and making the necessary changes i do so crave.
wow. you may need a sherpa to follow me today. happy april, kiddos!
adieu for now,