theory

there is this theory discussed in certain circles that an expectation is a premeditated resentment/disappointment. i'm not sure i completely follow this concept but this is where i am at this week.

i find i am harbouring major resentment toward several people in my life. i've been trying to examine what it is about these aforementioned people or what they do have me so prickly.

so far what i have uncovered is that my expectations are on myself in one situation (to be able to handle what the other person is constantly throwing at me); and my expectations of the others seem to be tied up in this notion that they should be loving me, treating me, and speaking to me the way i constantly strive to love, treat, and speak to them.

not that i am perfect and never say the wrong thing (it's my calling card most of the time), but these biting comments and shoot-downs feel as if they've gotten out of hand lately.

i don't expect much coming to resolution in regard to the first example but, i don't know if it is unreasonable to expect ones' friends and loved ones to treat you as such. is it their baggage? do i really deserve this negative reinforcement afterall? am i too sensitive?

alas, 'tis wednesday and life is peachy on all other fronts.

xo

lu