Monday, February 8, 2010

slap a bow on the top o' that.

a couple of things.
1. go saints!!! i'm so happy for my n'awlins! i was a hollering fool last night with friends watching the game and yelling WHO DAT! about every five minutes. i was thisclose to driving to n'awlins yesterday morning i was so excited they were in the bowl. but, thankfully spending the day with friends and beer was a much wiser choice and a whole lot of fun.
2. i'm having camera issues so, though pictures have been taken to document each day, i cannot post them as of yet. stay tuned. *finally, 2 days later pics from sunday and monday now posted...well, obviously.

today i am itchin' to do something fun for my birthday but a) don't know what i want to do b) i'm so tired that i'm tempted to stay in bed and listen to the strange boys on pandora all day. i will not, however, because i'm determined to get into some birthday shenanigans. i don't know why i'm so delighted by my birthday. people make fun of me for it because i get so excited and bounce around and giggle alot. i buy tulips and day of the dead figurines and putter around all day doing fun things. it's just a special me kind of day. and though i'm a little bummed that there are no parties or big group hang-outs or anything, i am very much enjoying my time off and thinking a lot about what i hope for at 28. it's a little weird to think about that i am the age my dad was when i was born. woah. i used to think that was old! sheeeesh.
in some ways i guess it is. i'm too old to repeat the mistakes of my early to mid twenties. i'm too old to make excuses. i'm too old to mistreat myself and others. but 28 is a lovely number. a multiple of seven, so i have good energies about it. it doesn't feel daunting or frightening.
i am stoked to be where i am though of course, i thought i would be somewhere totally different by the time i got "this old". heh. i am happy to have seven, the shack, a job, the people in my life that care.
i'm happy to have the family i have though i miss the ones that no longer are here with me so very much. i am grateful for every dumbass thing i've done because it has lead me to a place of acceptance (for the most part...i still have a tendency to beat the tar out of myself sometimes as you well know). i am grateful for every hard time, every tear, every laugh line, every scar, every piece of my heart that has been burned, scraped, ripped, stabbed, choked, and shattered. it is stronger now and capable of more caring and love than i ever thought imaginable. that capacity continues to grow every day and that is a powerful and beautiful thing.
i am proud to be me. i am proud of the life i have made for myself. it indeed may not be what i thought it would be and there are some who think it should be more than it is. but i love it.
i am proud of the people i have welcomed into my life because i have learned so much from each and every one of you.
life is phenomenal. i am so glad to be celebrating another year of it. who knows what adventures, challenges, joy, and changes lay before me but i'm glad i get to show up for this thing. my world is very cool. thank you all for helping to make it so.
love love love.
adieu for now,
*top pic: sunday night post-superbowl and pretending to play jungo. mostly i just picked out all the numbers that had sevens in them.
bottom pic: wallering in bed as the storm clouds rolled in monday night.


Susanne said...

On the day that you were born the angels got together , and decided to creat a dream come true, so they scattered moondust in your hair of gold and stardust in your eyes of blue. Why do birds suddenly appear, everytime you are near . Just like me, they want to be...close to you. Why do stars fall down from the sky, everytime you walk by...just like me, they want to be close to you. Happy Birthday Honey, we love you.xxxooo

lulu said...

aw mama that was so sweet! i love you so much. thanks for bringing me into the world and bringing me up. hope you don't have anything planned today...:-)