thanks ralph!

i read a quote from ralph waldo emerson today that has kicked me straight in the noggin.

what lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us.

isn't that awesome? it's so relevant to where i am in my life right now. as i mentioned a couple of days ago, i tend to live very much out loud. that means that everyone EVERYONE sees when i mess up, or fail, or prove (once again) that i am a human being. that is very challenging to deal with. mistakes i have made are held over me years later, though i am a different person completely.
to some people, it will never matter that i loved them sincerely. it only matters that i did not fit into their idea of what i should be. this goes for friends, loved ones, ex-boyfriends etc.
therefore, they will only see the ways i do not fit and never will see the ways in which i loved, gave, and cared for them.
i'm the one who has to deal with the constant embarrassment of poor choices, silly behaviour, etc. but they are the ones who have to deal with chronic discontent in others and probably themselves.
they have to live with boxing themselves in to their idea of a the perfect mould for a proper human being.
none of this makes me better than anyone, dear readers please understand that. it just makes me a bit more free. and what more could you ask for at this point in this calendar year and the world than freedom?
to my known and unknown readers:
i hope you know you are cherished. even by those you wouldn't suspect.
adieu for now,
lu